Wednesday - You wanna know something? I don't think I'm gonna be able to look at Sam's big STUPID grinning face anymore without getting pissed in one way or another. It BUGS me, ok? It just plain fucking bugs me! I saw Sam in the hall by himself earlier, waiting for 'Joey' as always, and he was practically dancing around on his tip toes in anticipation of her arrival. When he saw me he was being just plain 'goofy', and I hated it. He giggles for no reason, he sighs a lot, and for the love of God he just WON'T stop talking about her! Like every other sentence! It's annoying as fuck! Ok...so what? So they had sex. Whoopdeedoo! Who cares? It's not THAT big a deal! I'll bet she didn't blow him. I would have sucked him hard until he passed out and my cheeks caved in...but I'll just bet she didn't!
Sighhhh....how can he be so INTO her? Seriously! She's, like, nothing spectacular. At ALL!!! Not once you get to know her! She's just average....right? My GOD! Give somebody ONE little "Y" chromosome at birth, and all suddenly one of the cutest boy's in school is drooling all over himself like a doped up country bloodhound.
Whatever. So, Sam is being overly cheerful, and then I see Joanna walk up. I think I hate her even more now than I did before. And he just lovingly wraps his arms around her with a smile, and they kiss right in front of me. On the lips and everything...with a smile on their faces. But this time, it was different. It wasn't the usual kind of innocent kiss between a teenage girlfriend and boyfriend. It was like this super relaxed embrace between...'lovers', you know? You could just 'tell' somehow. And they just kept kissing, and moaning a little bit, while I pretended that it wasn't awkward as HELL to even be standing there at the moment! And then Sam turns his back to me while he's holding her, and he giggles and says, "Give us a minute, will ya?" He was just kidding, and Joanna laughed at it, but...for some reason it just hurt me to my very core. So I just told him that I was late for something. I couldn't take anymore of them being all lovey dovey, smoochy woochy, in front of my face. Jesus, why can't they just keep some of that overhyped 'mush' to themselves, huh? It's not like they can't control it! You don't see me and Brandon locking lips every five minutes in front of other people, do you? I wish they were forced to hide it like we do.
Anyway, before I had a chance to leave, Joanna asks me, "I heard you got an invite to Jamie Cross' party this weekend, are you going?"
It was hard to talk to her while she's all cuddled up in Sam's arms like that, but I tried to be polite anyway. "Yeah...I was kinda planning on it."
Sam's like, "We're going too. It'll be awesome to see you there. Who are you going with?"
And I'm like, "I figured I'd give Brandon a call, and we'd go up there around eight or something." They both wrinkled up their foreheads for a second, and then they kinda snickered to themselves. So I'm like, "What's funny?"
And Sam says, "Hehehe! Brandon??? Dude...you're supposed to bring a date...not another 'guy'! Doofus!" As if his actions hadn't already rubbed ENOUGH fucking salt in my wounds, he had to go and say something like THAT to my face? And what's wrong with me bringing BRANDON to a party, huh? What's wrong with ME having somebody to slobber all over like some kind of lovestruck idiot instead of watching those two go at it like two chickens fighting over the same kernel of corn?
Joanna lightly patted Sam on the butt to shut him up, and she said, "Don't worry Billy, you don't have to bring a date. You guys can go on your own if you want to. That's what Lee is doing. You guys can be a threesome if you wanna come with us."
Omigod! I don't think Joanna has ANY idea what kind of image she put in my head by even suggesting a 'threesome' with Lee, Brandon, and me!!! Jesus! Hehehe!
Anyway, I was just like, "Yeah, well...we'll see. Maybe." On one hand, it would be really cool to get back in touch with Lee and let him know that there were no hard feelings about what happened between him and Jimmy. But....it was a huge risk, taking Brandon around Sam. I mean, it's like dipping a raw steak in a tank full of piranhas, right? And yet, there was a part of me that really just...I wanted to rub my relationship in his face the way he does his in mine. I don't know why? I just do, ok? He deserves it for being a jerk. And for....sigh....doing it with Joanna. God, I SO could have lived the rest of my life without hearing about that!
Anyway, I kinda had to go to class today to avoid any big retaliations from Mom on my absence. I kinda had to promise her this morning that I wouldn't ditch class, even if I had to look my dad's mistress in the face for 40 minutes a day. Now...this puts a huge kink in my plans for tomorrow, because, I don't care if it rains fire and lightning outside, I'm taking my boyfriend to Bobby's house and fucking his brains out until we're both satisfied! And then two or three times MORE until we're both sore from it! And that means ditching class again. Now...if I can just make it through Friday night, then I'll gladly do a little time for the 'evils' I've committed. It'll be worth it. But sex with the prettiest boy in school, and partying with the cutest boys on EARTH (Lee AND Jamie Cross in the same room....my God!)...I'd risk PRISON time for that opportunity! A little grounding won't hurt. I've just gotta make sure Mom doesn't find out until Saturday or something.
I was able to keep from losing my lunch during that class, but it wasn't easy, believe me. All I could think about was what it would look like to see my dad kissing her on the mouth. It's fucking gross! I can barely stomach him kissing my MOM on the mouth! Do you think they have sex too? OMIGOD, OMIGOD....ok, ERASE, ERASE, ERASE!!!! I NEVER want to think about that shit EVER again! NOT EVER!!! EWWWWW!!!! Jesus! The very thought of it made me squirm in my seat with the willies. Yuck!
Anyway, speaking of my time tomorrow, I made sure to find Bobby Jinette early in the day and tell him what the 'plan' was. I had to find an empty bathroom, (Which is really HARD by the way! I know there's a lot of kids in this school, but do they ALL have to go to bathroom during every break period? Geez!) and I basically told him that I was going to tell Brandon that I'm outing myself to him today. I'm like, "So, it'll be like....I told you, and you're all cool with it, right? And if he asks...just tell him that you were cool with it and decided to let us use your house because....I dunno, because you were just 'happy' for us or something. Ok?"
He was like, "Don't worry. I got it. I won't say anything." He said it plain enough....but, I don't know...the look on his face was weird, you know?
I said, "Bobby, you PROMISED...."
And he's all, "I know! What? I didn't say anything." Then he's like, "I guess I'll just....give you my house keys at first period or something. But I'm taking the sheets off my bed! And you'd better not go through my stuff! Or I'll know!"
I said, "I won't! I swear! And we'll be really clean too! No mess!" But Bobby still looked kinda...I dunno...'pouty' or something. I don't know why he was being so weird about all of this. I mean, this whole arrangement was all his idea afterall.
He's like, "Whatever. So...I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?" He gave me this really heartbroken look, and it wasn't my intention to hurt him or anything, but....come ON...this was the deal, right? I mean, I gave him what HE wanted....and now it's my turn. He better not punk out on me, or I'm gonna be pissed!
I told Brandon what happened, and expected him to really jump for joy. But he didn't. If anything, it was like he just got more suspicious. He was like, "You just...told him? Just like that? And he was ok with it? I mean...what did he say?"
I said, "I don't know...he said a bunch of stuff. The point is he's COOL with it! And he even offered his house to us tomorrow so we could get together and...you know...be 'alone'." The whole time I'm thinking, 'C'mon Brandon....SMILE, DAMMIT!!! Stop asking questions and just SMILE!'
But Brandon just remained kinda doubtful of the whole deal. What the hell was wrong withthe story I gave him? Why couldn't he just accept it at face value? I'm in love, he's in love, I told Bobby Jinette, he's happy for us and wants us to be together. What more is there to say, right? FINALLY, after a bunch of weird looks and him twiddling his fingers ver the whole thing, he's like, "Are you sure it's ok if we go over there and...um....do stuff?"
And I'm like "YEAH! He said it was cool! So what do you say? Tomorrow morning, I'll get the keys from him, and we'll go over to his house, and enjoy some privacy for a change."
Brandon caved in at last, and said, "Well...ok. As long as he's cool with it."
And *THAT*, ladies and gentlemen....is hw you get things moving!!! So the plan is set, and by this time tomorrow, I hope to be balls deep in Brandon's sweet kissable mouth! Omigod! I'm gonna showe like FOUR times tonight to make myself extra sweet for my baby! Alone at last! AAAAHHHHHH!!!! I can't WAIT!!! I'm TOTALLY gonna make this the best afternoon Brandn EVER had so we can do it all the time! I can't wait to taste that awesome flavor again!
Ok.....ok....I gotta go jack off right now! I'm WAY too hyper to keep thinking about this before bed!
But before I go....
I **LOVE** YOU BRANDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God, I love you! And kissing you again is gonna be kick ass!!!!
I'll write more later! Seeya!