I hurried into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.
What do I do? What do I DO??? Is this happening right now? Oh God! Seriously...oh my fucking GOD! I can't breathe! I think...I think I'm hyperventilating! I've never hyperventilated before! Is this, like...a deadly thing? Am I going to pass out and hit my head on something? I need to...I've got to...I'm going to splash some water on my face. Yeah, that's what people do in the movies, right? Splash water on their face?
I looked at myself in the mirror. My heart was beating soooo HARD! Everything about me looked 'wrong' at that moment. Literally, everything. I don't think I've ever felt so uncomfortable in my own skin before. My hair looked wrong, my body looked wrong, my FACE looked wrong! Why is he doing this? Is Ricky Sweeten playing some kind of a cruel game with me? Is that what this is? It just...it doesn't feel at all 'sane' to think, for one moment, that this super cool, incredibly gorgeous, supposedly 'straight', boy would be calling me cute and asking to hook up with me in my bedroom while my mom isn't home. I mean...would YOU believe it if it was happening to you right now? Honestly!
This can't be real. I should just chill out for a second, and wait to see if I wake up from this super vivid wet dream that I'm having! I'm already hard and panting like I just ran a country mile...I'm gonna cum any second now, and I'll wake up, and go back to my normal life. I know I will.
Wake up, Jamie! Wake up, wake up wake up!
Shit...I'm not waking up...
How long have I been in here? If this is real, then that means that Ricky Sweeten is sitting in my room right now, no TV, no video games, no music...which means he's got nothing else to do other than wonder why it's taking me so long to come back and talk to him some more. Am I being a freak about this? I don't want to come off as some kind of psycho, but...it's fucking Ricky Sweeten!!! Does he not know how amazing he is??? He's got to have a clue as to why a proposition like that is driving my emotions into a swirling storm of utter chaos right now!
Fix your hair. Your hair looks stupid. Let me just...ok...yeah, that's a little bit better. Is my face ok? No zits? I think I look ok. Ummm...hold on...
I took a moment to unzip my jean shorts, and lifted up my tie dye T-shirt to pull my undies down and take a quick look at my...ummm...'equipment'. I don't know why I felt the need to inspect myself at that moment, but it seemed like a crucial part of checking myself out, just in case this thing goes a bit further than I ever thought it could. Oh God, I was SO hard at that moment! Like...throbbing and pulsing and stretching out for a full five inches, my tip blushed a deep shade of pink as it yearned for the chance to be touched by the sexiest boy alive. It may seem silly, but there's always a part of me that wonders...is it big enough? Long enough? I've got some hair down there, but it's nothing to be impressed by. How would I look through Ricky's eyes? I know that people say that it doesn't matter...but I think about it regardless. Can't really help it.
Ok, I think I look...ummm...alright. There's nothing that I can do about it now, anyways. What else? Oh, let me brush my teeth really quick. I've got the toothpaste with the whitening baking soda stuff in it. Yeah. Let me just...ok...brushing my teeth now. And I've got the spearmint mouthwash too. Let me use that. Ok. Got it. Breath check. No white toothpaste on the edges of my lips. Check my hair again. Still looks stupid to me. But...fuck it. Hopefully, he won't notice.
Alright, am I ready for this?
I stared at my reflection for a few moments longer, and I'm thinking, "Ok, Jamie...if this is a wet dream...now is the time to wake up! Right now! I'm not fucking around here! Wake up, dammit!"
But reality prevailed...and I was stuck with the scary prospect of having to walk back into that bedroom with the biggest crush that I've ever had in my fourteen year old life to see if we could possibly...'do stuff' to each other.
This is more Silas' department. I wish I had brought my cell phone in here so that I could ask him to give me some advice on this situation. Where is my wing man when I need him most.
Jesus...this is SO much scarier than I ever imagined it would be.
I was walking on shaky legs as I approached my own bedroom, and I peeked around the corner to see Ricky leaning back on my bed on one of his elbows, gently flipping the pages of one of my comic books, and just...looking tasty as hell. His legs, and his body, and his arms all exposed like that...even his shoulders are sexy. What happens if he's really serious? What do I do if he, like...really wants to hook up?
Why do I feel like crying right now???
When he saw me, Ricky sat up straight and pushed the comic book over to the side. His eyes are so damn beautiful, you know that? If you look into them directly, they just...soothe you, inside and out. It's like hearing your favorite song for the first time. He can be so exciting sometimes.
And yet, I was trying to calm myself down a little bit. My hopes were WAY too high at that moment. I didn't want to go skydiving without checking to make sure that my parachute was working properly first.
"So..." I said, hoping to break the silence. "...Do you wanna watch TV or something? Or, like...I've got some games, and...my Spotify music list is pretty lit..."
Ricky's brow furrowed up in the most adorable way. "TV?" He asked.
"Yeah. I've got Netflix and stuff if you want...I mean if you wanna..."
But he stopped me. "Jamie?"
He hesitated for a moment, giving me a bit of a smirk, but seeming a little nervous about moving forward. "Well, it's just..." He looked away for a second, but then made eye contact again. "...I was kinda thinking that we were, like...getting something 'started' here. I mean, feel free to tell me if I have that wrong. It's totally cool."
"Heh...something started? Something like what?" I asked bashfully, my heart pounding as I attempted to hold on to the last pinch of denial that I had left.
Again...Ricky hesitated. Then he softly responded with, "I don't know. It's...not important."
No no no no no!!! Wait! Don't back down now! Shit! SAY SOMETHING, JAMIE!!!
"Oh...you mean, about us hooking up?" I tried to make sound as nonchalant as I possibly could, but it wasn't working with my voice shaking like that.
"I don't know. Maybe." He said, looking away from me.
Fighting for a sufficient intake of oxygen, I said, "You've never...like...hooked up with another boy before?"
He slowly shook his head. And his eyes! GAH! Stop looking at me like that! I'm seriously falling in LOVE here! "There was this boy on the little league baseball team that I thought about fooling around with once. He was an asshole though. Still, I thought he was really cute. I mean, not as cute as you are, but...really nice looking, you know?"
I held in a gasp, but I felt myself swooning, nonetheless. "Hehehe, you really need to stop saying stuff like that, Ricky."
"What? That you're cute? Why?" He asked. "It's true. I mean, I kinda thought you were cute from the very first time I saw you when I moved here. I think you were helping your mom take groceries in the house or something. And I just...I kinda felt like...'hey, he's pretty to look at', you know?"
It's getting harder to breathe by the minute. It's getting worse. I was literally trembling now. "Heh...did you? Think that about me?"
"I did." He smiled. I felt myself getting extremely hard in my pants and casually put my arm in my lap to hopefully hide it from him.
"This is so crazy." I sighed.
"Why is it crazy?"
"Because, you're like...the hottest boy ever. You're supposed to be...you know...unattainable." I said, managing to get the courage to greet his gazing brown eyes with an infatuated stare of my own.
"Well, I'm not, you know?" He said, just above a whisper, seeming to lean in closer to me. "Not unless you want me to be."
I almost felt the need to pop up and run back to the bathroom before I did something foolish and ruined the moment...but I remained still. Besides, I doubt my legs would work right anyway. My weak knees would probably toss me down to the floor the second I tried to stand up again. Unlike with Lucas in his basement that one time last year...I wasn't going to allow myself to lose the spontaneity of the moment this time. I wanted this. I wanted it sooooo bad.
Breathlessly, I whispered, "You're so...soooo cute, Ricky. I mean that."
He grinned. "Well, I look at myself every day. So, I guess I don't notice. But...thanks."
There was a moment of silence, where I felt stuck. Unable to move at all. I looked away from his eyes, and then peeked back at him. Then looked away again, giggling nervously to myself. But, just as things were getting stalled to the point of being uncomfortable...I said, "So like...what do you wanna do? Hehehe..."
His smile widened, and he scooted a bit closer to me on the bed, which nearly gave me a heart attack. He's actually serious about this, isn't he? Holy Christ!!!
"I dunno. Maybe. Like...I mean...do you wanna try...kissing or something?" He asked me, and when I peeked back over at his eyes, I saw this dreamy haze in them that made me even weaker than I was before.
"I....well...sure. Ok..." I said, my teenage voice cracking as I tried to keep it under control.
My mind was racing with so many thoughts that they all got clogged up, trying desperately to squeeze through the same narrow doorway. And yet, it was the fire and fury of my young hormones that was savagely pushing its way to the front of the line.
Ricky and I just sat there for a moment. Both of us feeling extremely timid about being the aggressor in all this, and what it might mean, going forward from here. But after meeting eyes a few more times, I found myself sliding a few inches closer to him too. The jittery feeling in my gut caused me to giggle again, but it faded quickly. And that's when I felt Rick place his hand on my thigh.
I nearly came in my pants, right then and there!
There was another long pause...and then, Ricky leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I was breathing so hard that it was making me dizzy, but after another few seconds...I leaned over and kissed him on his cheek too. I can't believe that I just kissed Ricky Sweeten on the cheek! How is ANY of this happening right now???
Ricky's hand gave my thigh a little squeeze, and I'll admit that I'm really not used to having a full blown erection in front of other people. It's always been something to conceal and hide with a certain level of shame before now...so I'd be lying if I said that my arousal didn't embarrass me a little bit at first. But as Ricky's hand slid a few inches further up my thigh, his fingers now almost touching the crease where my legs come together, the back of his fingernails almost swiping the side of my balls...I found myself forgetting about being modest and just wanting him to go further. Oh God, Ricky...PLEASE go further!
He leaned in again, and this time, he closed his eyes and slowly rubbed his nose and lips against my cheek. Then he gently turned my head to face him, and he said, "You're really cute. You know that?" I wasn't sure if that was a rhetorical question or not. I wouldn't know how to answer it, either way. Luckily, I didn't get the chance to humiliate myself with some kind of cringe-worthy comment. Ricky Sweeten kissed me on the lips. Briefly at first. Then again. And then, with another squeeze of my thigh...he pressed his lips against mine and let them linger there, my heart, body, and mind, going WILD with a chaotic emotional tantrum that I had never experienced before. Holy shit!!! What the fuck is going ON right now???
Hoping not to disappoint, I tried to give Ricky the best possible kiss that my inexperience could offer him...and my heart nearly exploded when I felt the wetness of Ricky's tongue tenderly poking at my lips. An intimate knock at my oral door that I opened immediately and invited him inside.
I may have only made out with two or three boys in my life time...but Ricky was a REALLY good kisser! Oh WOW! The feel of his tongue sliding against mine, the moist cushion of his soft teen lips, the taste of his heated breath...everything about it was the pure definition of gay dream boy magic! I could feel the breath of his nostrils against my cheek, his hand on my thigh, and a few wisps of his soft brown hair on my forehead. My hand reached out to touch his arm...and that turned me on even more. I mean, it's not like Ricky was packed with hard muscle or anything, but the feel of his bicep made my hardness throb from the first touch of it. And just as our kissing became more intense, I could hear Ricky moan softly, showing his growing desire and utter appreciation for me pleasing him the way that I was.
He said I was cute. Really cute, in fact! His exact words! Hehehe! Sweet!
Feeling emboldened, I let my hand rub up and down on his thigh the same way that he was rubbing on mine. The smooth and silky texture of his shiny blue soccer shorts not leaving much to the imagination once my eager fingers found the rigid arousal within. I gripped his hard inches. Impressive. I felt his erection swell and jump with excitement as I touched it, and he scooted even closer to me with a whimper of boyish lust as his hand moved up to grab my own heated shaft, both of us shivering as we connected in a way that we've never had any practice with. It felt so wild, so primal...I was loving every second of it. And all while entertaining the feeling of sucking on his hot, wet, tongue.
This whole thing was so insane!
I didn't put up any resistance at all as Ricky began to lean us back on the bed. I didn't dare disconnect my hungry lips from his. And I reached up to feel his arms again. Just...touching his bare skin was a thrill for me. It's like...all those hours of climbing trees and shooting baskets outside of his garage made his arms so incredibly sexy to me. We were laying, side by side, on the bed, and I was doing all that I could to just be cool about it all...but inside, I was totally freaking the fuck out! How is this one boy soooooo hot? How is that possible! And when he reached over to take a firm hold of my ass...I thought that I was going to scream out loud! It's too much! Too much all at once! I can't even figure out how to deal with this right now...
His tongue tastes so good. I love the way it moves in my mouth. I love how he has the perfect timing when it comes to leaning his head from one side to the other. I love how he can 'read' a kiss and make it the most intimate activity ever created. How does he do that? Is he as impressed by my kissing skills as I am with his? This is amazing!
And then...I found myself getting a little bit scared...
Laying side by side and kissing was one thing...but I got worried about creaming myself in the worst way when Ricky rolled over and got on top of me to continue our shameless make out session. This was different. Now I could CLEARLY feel his hardness rubbing against mine as he humped himself into me with an invigorated passion that seemed to be getting more and more intense with every thrust of his athletic hips into my open legs. God...his dick must be soooo delicious! It was hard to not think about it, even while I had this sensually craving Adonis on top of me, and driving himself into my inviting cradle, pushing himself towards an inevitable orgasm.
However, as a moment of sobriety took a hold of me, I stopped kissing Ricky for a brief moment and tried to let my rational mind get enough blood flow to think clearly. I, reluctantly, stopped making out with my dream boy, and his lips immediately went to the side of my neck. Sucking on the flesh with such a fevered effort that even that brought me close to the point of orgasm! FUCK...he's really really GOOD at this!
I managed to push out the words, "Wait...ummm...my mom..."
Ricky lifted his head, and asked, "Your mom?"
"Yeah. She's...I mean...I don't know when she's going to be done doing...you know...the house thing." I said. Ricky looked confused, and I took another moment to enjoy the fact that he was literally on TOP of me, his hard shaft lined up with my own through a pair of silky soccer shorts. "She might...come home. You know?"
That's when he made the connection. "Oh! Oh shit. Yeah, that might be bad."
"Heh...uh huh..." I said.
But Ricky kissed me on the lips again, and he said, "There's nobody at my house." Wait...what??? "Do you...I mean...you wanna come over?"
"YES!!!" I said, without even thinking. The idea of it never even passed through my brain before my mouth opened up and my vocal chords expressed EXACTLY what I was thinking and what I wanted at that particular moment! No questions to be asked. No hesitation at all.
Fuck YEAH, I wanna come over!!!
I'm already hot and horny enough to shoot rainbows out of my dick! So, let's go!