I made my way over to sit next to Blake on the sofa, trying to position myself where I was close enough to be near him, but not so close that I'd arouse any suspicion from him. I just....sighhhh...I just wanted to feel the radiating beauty of him as he got a bit of a break from being outside all day long.
I think it was the sound of the TV remote falling to the floor that made me realize that he had totally passed out from being so clean and warm and comfortable with my fluffy blanket. It happened so fast. Hehehe! It was kind of cute, to be honest. He must have been so exhausted.
Blake's head was leaning back against the back of the sofa, his breath steady, his pretty lips parted slightly as his mouth hung open...a quiet little snore escaping from him as he fell further and further into the depths of a deep sleep. I found myself smiling at the peaceful look on his face, finally getting the chance to stare at him without having to worry about him catching me gawking at him like some kind of love stricken idiot. I just...I wanted to gaze upon the vision of loveliness that he was without having to be ashamed about how extremely infatuated I was with him. You know?
I never really got the opportunity to appreciate him this way before. It was, like...surreal.
I just wanted to reach out and touch his cheek or something. Or perhaps run my fingers through his light blond hair. It looked so silky and perfect. His lips were plush and wonderfully shaped. His ears, his nose, his neck...everything about his boyish profile was a mind-blowing work of art to me. True magic, manifested in flesh. Even with his eyes closed, I had vivid memories of their bright neon blue appearance, and now I could see his long, dark, lashes without his eyes stealing the show. Wow. Blake was just...he was just so...wow...
Unable to help myself, I reached over to pull the blanket a bit to keep it wrapped tightly around him. He was breathing so gently. His body, totally relaxed from head to toe. God, he looked soooo soft. If I had any courage at all, I'd lean over and cuddle myself up next to him. But the coward in me kept me at a distance, despite my intense cravings to be closer to him. For now, it's probably best that I just watch the Christmas lights on the tree dance around his face and highlight the unfathomable beauty of this boy in my living room for everything that he was. I didn't dare ruin the moment. I wanted it to last for as long as it possibly could.
I'm not sure how long I spent staring at him as he slept beside me, but I eventually picked up the remote control from down by his feet, and I went back to trying to find something on TV to watch. Blake seemed like he needed the rest, and I would have felt like a jerk trying to wake him up for the sake of attention. I turned the volume way down as I checked the 'horror' section for a little bit of Christmas gore. Even if the movie turned out to be total trash, at least I could get a few good kills in, you know? But...even as the movie was playing, my eyes were constantly pulled back in Blake's direction. He was lost in a really deep sleep, and I started to wonder if I could actually lean over and just...kiss his cheek and get away with it. I honestly entertained the idea quite a number of times. The thought of pressing my lips up against his made my stomach flutter with a series of nervous jitters that made me smile without even realizing it. What if I could kiss him? Like...really kiss him? The feeling sent chills up my spine, and I felt myself fidgeting slightly as thoughts of being so close to him began to play in my head over and over again in this repetitive loop that made me feel like I was totally losing it.
Blake stirred a little bit, and his head leaned over a bit to the side, causing this really cute cascade of his blond hair to come sweeping down over his eyes. It was almost too much for me to handle. And Jesus he smelled good! He wasn't even conscious, but I felt myself getting hard just looking at him. I swear...if we were actual boyfriends with each other, I'd be cuddling and snuggling up to him and wrapping myself all around him to relieve some of this tension. I'd bury my nose and lips in the nape of his soft and smooth neck...running my hands all over his thighs...sucking gently on his earlobes. I wouldn't be able to control myself.
Even now...I can barely control myself.
My erection reached full hardness, and it was becoming extremely uncomfortable down there. I was so stiff that it made it a little difficult to breathe. I looked away from Blake and tried to concentrate on the movie instead, but the urge to allow my emotions to be swept up in the moment wouldn't leave me alone. Is it too hot in here? Maybe I turned the temperature up too high. I'm feeling a little bit flushed. And that's when Blake shifted slightly again. He was still asleep, but he managed to raise his hand up to gently brush a handful of his tender blond locks back on his forehead in the cutest way imaginable. And then he settled right back into his much needed nap.
It was too much! I couldn't take it! Omigod! Ok...ok, I need to...I have to go. I can't just sit here and...oh CHRIST, look at him! No...I can't do this! I just...I can't!
At first, I hesitated, because I didn't want my constant wiggling on the sofa to wake him as I stood up with one of the most annoyingly rock hard erections that I've ever had in my life! I mean, it was obscenely poking out in front of me, yearning for him in ways that my brain couldn't even process at that moment in time. But as discomfort began to overpower my paranoia...I finally hopped up from my seat and did a quick walk to the bathroom, hopefully avoiding the chance of Blake seeing me so aroused.
I rushed in and turned on the light, locking the bathroom door behind me. Just in case, you know?
I swear...I couldn't get my pants down around my ankles fast enough! Giving my boner some room and some much needed air, I knelt down on the small rug in front of the toilet, lifting the seat, and finally taking a skin-on-skin hold of my throbbing member as my eyes rolled back and I head myself let out a sigh of relief. Ohhhhhh GOD, did that feel good!
My fingers curled around the rigid shaft, and thoughts of Blake actually laying there in my living room, right in front of my Christmas tree...in a house where we were all alone for the whole weekend...began to fill me with a thrill that I had never known before. That face, those eyes, that body, his hair...I didn't know what I wanted to concentrate on first as I began to tighten my grip and stroke myself until my whole body was shivering with euphoric delight. I was breathing so hard. But I couldn't stop. Not now. Omigod, he's right there in the other room. How HOT is that???
I imagined myself on top of him, grinding my hips into his, our boners sliding up against one another as we passionately tongue kissed and moaned from the sensual contact. I would suck on his tongue so hard! I'd...I'd make love to him until we were both breathless. And then we'd start to get naked. Can you imagine what Blake would like with no clothes on? Seriously? Oh God, it must be so hot! He's already wearing my sweats with no underwear on! Imagine if he wasn't wearing anything at all, and I could just spread his legs and nuzzle my nose under the heated wrinkles of his tender sack, just feeling its heat for a few moments and inhaling his sexy scent before taking them into my mouth and running my tongue all over him down there. Then licking my way up to the top of his hardness and circling the perfectly sculpted tip, tasting the salty and sweet juices that were leaking from his slit before taking him into my mouth and sucking him deep as he ran his fingers through my hair and whispered my name with lustful agitation.
My hand speed increased as I closed my eyes and just tried to indulge in the fantasy of being with a boy who was simply too good to be true. At least in my eyes he was. I squeezed tighter, sucking my tongue and pretending it was his delicious manhood. And when the idea of inserting my finger into the tightness of his pink, virgin, asshole crossed my mind...I passed the point of no return. I fantasized about fingering him deep, feeling the constricted hole swirling up to trap my finger inside of him and sucking at it as I pushed it in and out of his supple young body, his inner muscles conflicted between preventing the foreign intrusion, and giving in to the crazy amount of pleasure that it was providing him at the same time. I could just imagine Blake squirming and moaning in a higher pitch as his snug tunnel did its best to pull me in even further...urging me to replace that finger with something bigger. More sensitive. To make love to his hole and having his tight ring squeeze me in a vice like grip as I pushed it as far into his love as I could. That was the catalyst. There was no denying the approaching eruption now.
I got severely lightheaded, a full body tingle washing over me as the ticklish sensation vibrated behind both ears...and my eyes shot open as I looked down just in time to see my blushed head swell and my fingers felt the beginning pulses of a massive orgasm that caused me to hold my breath in order to keep from crying out loud.
Long, hard, streams of thick sticky liquid shot out of me and slammed against the back rim of the toilet, my teen body reduced to a quivering mess as I emptied a heavy load and nearly felt myself getting faint as the powerful spasms began to subside...smaller and smaller offerings rushing out of my tip as everything was spent and finally allowed me to relax once again.
It took me a moment to catch my breath, and even after such an intense climax...my erection still didn't want to go down. Almost as if to tell me that it would be ready to go again in another minute or two if I gave it another chance. Wow...I don't think I've ever felt anything like that before. Thank God that I was able to jerk it off and didn't accidentally spray a load like that all over Blake's face without warning. That would have been so embarrassing.
I reached over for some tissues to clean myself off, my sensitive tip twitching in response, and made sure that I didn't leave any stray squirts around the rim, before flushing it all away and laying back on the bathroom rug for a few moments while my heartbeat fought to get back to its normal rhythm. A feat that wasn't as easy as I thought it should be.
Then, as I felt myself softening up again, I got to my feet and pulled my pants and underwear back up again. I washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror...and I have to admit that I was a bit ashamed for what I had just done. I don't know...I felt like I had 'violated' Blake somehow. I started out just trying to help out a stranger, then moved towards maybe making a good friend...and now? I mean, am I going to have to violently jack off every time I spend time with him just to keep from jumping his bones like some kind of pervert? Having sex with Blake was definitely something that I wanted, and wished I could do over and over again...but it really wasn't my intention when I asked him to come over here today, was it? Was I being a predator?
Look...he's really REALLY cute, ok? I can't help but to want being close to him. But I was just kind of trying to do something cool for Christmas, you know? It's not like I had any expectations or demands to make of him by having him over for a blanket and some hot chocolate with marshmallows. I swear.
I don't know. Hormones can make you do weird things sometimes. My life was so much easier before puberty kicked in and complicated everything. Is the rest of my life going to be like this? Or is this just one of those 'phases' that my parents talk about, where it magically goes away someday and I forget that it ever happened?
I'm hoping for the latter.
I unlocked the door and walked back into the living room to see Blake still resting peacefully on the sofa. Wow, he looks even cuter than he did when I left. However, when I sat back down...he began to stir a bit more, and this time he sat up and rubbed his eyes as he came to. "Hey..." He said softly, his voice a little bit hazy from being asleep.
My heart leapt up into my throat as my infatuation took over and threw me into a state of emotional chaos again. "Ummm...hey. Hehehe!"
"Dude, I'm sorry. Did I bail out on you? I didn't mean to." He asked.
"Yeah. You looked tired. It's ok though. Seriously."
"How long was I out?"
"Not that long." I said, still trembling slightly from the shattering orgasm that I had just experienced thinking about him being naked in my arms.
He smiled back at me, and it almost hurt to not thrust myself forward and start kissing him. "What an exciting I turned out to be. Am I right?" He grinned.
"The most exciting guest I've had here in a long time. Believe me." I said.
"Well, thanks. Hehehe! I'm flattered." Blake clutched at the blanket and inhaled deeply as he wrapped it even tighter around his shoulders. "This blanket is sooooo comfy, dude! It's like being wrapped up in a cloud of cotton candy."
"I know, right? That's my favorite blanket ever." I said.
"I can see why." He smiled. "You wanna share?"
I cant explain it, but there was this paralyzing sense of utter terror that consumed me the second that he said that, and I couldn't fend off the shock of it fast enough for my common sense to kick in.
"Uhhhh...I can't." I said. WHAT?!?! What am I doing???
"You can't?" Blake asked, confused.
"No. I mean...yes, I can. But...I can't. I don't think...I don't want to." Why won't my brain work? What's happening to me! "NOT that I don't WANT to...with you, that is. Because I DO! I'm just saying that I don't...that I can't...maybe, I mean that I shouldn't..." I'm only digging myself deeper in this conversational hole of mine. Shut up, Aric. Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!
"Okaaaay..." Blake giggled. Great. Now I look like a complete jackass.
I should have said yes. Just ONE word! Yes! I could be cuddling with the cutest boy on Earth right now if I had just said yes. UGGGHHH!!!
I tried to see if there was something that I could say that might bring everything back around, full circle, and return our interaction to something that didn't seem like such a detour from our every day sanity, but I just wanted to keep my mouth shut for fear that I'd only make things worse. Maybe he'll just forget that any of this ever happened. I just...I don't want to scare him off just yet. I just want to keep looking at that pretty face until he has to leave and walk out of my life for a while. A while much longer than I'll be able to bear, now that I'm getting to know him a little bit better than I did before.
"So, what is this that your watching?" Blake asked, turning his attention to the TV.
"Oh...ummm, you know, I didn't even look for a name. Hehehe! I just wanted to get into some horror stuff. I hope you don't mind."
"No way. I don't mind. I love horror movies. Is this a good one?"
"Damned if I know. It was just...you know...on." I giggled, and he giggled with me.
"Cool. Well, I guess we'll find out together, won't we?"
Out of nowhere, I blurted out, "I think sharing that blanket might be...cool..." No lead in, no segue, no build up. FUCK! That sounded so AWKWARD!!!
But, without saying anything to tease or reject me, Blake simply gave me the cutest smile and lifted his arm to give me enough space to scoot closer to him, and then wrapped his arm and the end of the warm blanket over my shoulders, accepting me into, what I was assuming, was just a friendly embrace. Even if it felt like a lot more than that in my mixed up brain.
Omigod...he smelled even better, now that he was all warm and cozy and wearing my clothes. i closed my eyes again so that none of my other senses could interfere with the sensually stimulating appeal of his boyish aroma. With my ear pressed firmly against his chest, I could hear his heart beating. I could feel his body heat against my cheek. And it was a serious battle for me to not wrap my arms around him and hold him tight as every last one of my most treasured, most secretive, emotions coiled around Blake without shame or restriction of any kind. Everything about him was magic. Total magic. How can I expected to not fall in love with him? Fate is truly asking too much of me at this point. I need him in my life. I need his love for me to reflect mine for him.
I can't see my life moving forward without that. I just can't.