Thursday - Sighhhhhhhhhhhh..................
If I could only put into words the feeling I have wrapped around my heart at this very moment...I doubt I'd have enough ink and paper to write it all down. I don't think I've ever floated so high before. I don't think I've ever been so in love. How the hell did I ever make it to age 14 without this feeling aching in my stomach all day long? It baffles me.
We did it. Me and Brandon....we got some time to be alone. Some REAL time alone! None of that quickie, 'keep your ears open in case your mom comes home' type of shit! This was just....sighhhh.....just me, and him, and sex. I had no idea that love could be so complete. I had no idea that it would be so different, being able to lay in bed with my head on his chest, just listening to him breathe...our naked arms and legs wrapped around each other...still tingling as we came down from yet another orgasm. I never knew what it was really like to 'speak' to him about how I feel about him without having to whisper or worry. I could just think it and..and say it...without having to think about who might hear me. Or to just have our eyes meet, and lean in to kiss those sweet pretty lips of his without hesitation. I feel like this was our first actual 'connection' as far as being boyfriends was concerned, you know? It was stronger than anything else I've ever felt before. For anybody. I had the cure for every bad thought and feeling in the universe right here in my arms....and he was happy to be there. How can life possibly go beyond the perfection that had swallowed me up at that very moment.
God....making love for hours with the boy you love more than anything can make a poet out of almost anybody. You know that?
The only weird thing about today was the fact that it didn't start out as smoothly as I expected it to. I mean...ok, I'm not stupid. I did some really nasty things to get Bobby Jinette to let us use his house today, and I totally SUCK for that! I know that. Even if it was TOTALLY worth every minute! What Brandon and I shared today was, like, a whole new level of sex for us! A whole new level of EVERYTHING! But...when I got to school this morning and talked to Bobby...something was definitely wrong.
Like, I knew that I had to get his house key from him, and he promised that he wouldn't come home until five o'clock, about a half hour before his mom came home. So me and Brandon had plenty of time to kiss and roll around, you know? But when I came to get the key from him, he acted like he didn't really want to give it to me. What's he doing? I mean, he got more sex from me, what else does he want? He can't back out of the deal now! I won't lie, I thought he was gonna tell me that we wouldn't be able to do it afterall...and that would have pissed me off something awful! Believe me! But after working out some of the details, he was like, "Well...I guess all you need is the key, huh?" And he's kinda looking at me with these big sad puppy dog eyes lke I'm hurting his feelings by taking them. It wasn't fair at ALL, you know? I mean...he's got to stick to his end of the bargain. It was HIS idea to begin with! So there was no need for him to act all lovey dovey now! I mean, am I RIGHT, or what?
I seriously tried to just ignore it and go through with the plan as scheduled before he screwed everythng up by changing his mind or something. So I'm like, "Ok, so I just use this key to go in through the back door, and we can stay until five o'clock, right?" And he nods, and I say, "And no answering the phone or the door. Not for anybody. And be sure to turn on the music in case we make any noise." I think I had the rules right, and he nodded again, but his eyes were kinda looking down at the floor, and his bottom lip was kinda stuck out. but he gave me the keys anyway. You know, Bobby's actually kinda cute whe he gets all 'pouty' like that. But I had to stay focused here. I had stuff to do. He was still looking kinda down, and I looked around to make sure nobody was really paying us that much attention in the hallway. Then I hugged him around the neck, and I said, "Thanks Bobby. I mean it. You're the BOMB for doing this for us. Ok? I won't forget this."
I couldn't tell if that made things better or worse for him. He was kinda hard to read when he didn't look you in the eye. But he sorta smiled a bit, and I think his face turned red, but I couldn't see it that well. I started to leave, and he was like, "I hope you two have fun together." It was really quiet though, and when I turned around, he was already walking in the other diretion. Arrrgh, I'm NOT trying to hurt his feelings! REALLY, I'm NOT!!! I just...I don't have any other way to spend time with my boyfriend! I NEED his help, and THIS is how he can help me. Plus...he's already been 'paid', or whatever, for this opportunity. So we're even. Fair is fair. I've totally got to get him a boyfriend of his own. I'm gonna get him and Jimmy together to hang out or something. If nothing else, they'll have lots and lots of sex. And NOBODY is sad when they're having lots and lots of sex! God knows I'M not!
So anyway, I started getting excited almost instantly! Just feeling the jingle of Bobby's keys in my pocket was enough to get me hard as block of cement! My heart was pounding, and my chest hurt, and my foot kept bouncing up and down while I was sitting at my desk, waiting for the clock to hurry up and get the bell to ring! If it were up to me, I would have ditched the whole day and could have had a mouth full of Brandon by 10 AM! But he wanted to stay through third period and take some kind of stupid 'test' or something. Hehehe, my cute little schoolboy.
So, we finally get to fourth period, and we meet at my locker! I'm bouncing around like I'm crazy, and I can't stop giggling! And he must like it, because he can't help but laugh at me. He turns pink in the face, and he's like, "Dude...you are WEIRD! Quit it!" But he's all giggly and cute about it, and that only makes me bounce around even more! I'm, like, SOOOOO anxious to just wrap myself up in him and taste him and toch him and....just....ARRRRGHHH!!!!
So we practically RUN out of school as soon as the coast is clear, and hop on a bus to Bobby's house. I just couldn't sit still. I was actually 'squirming' in my seat, and had to hold my backpack on my lap to keep from showing the whole bus my 'tent'. I'm sure the little old lady sitting across from us in the back of the bus would have loved that. Hell, I was almost tempted to flash her just for kicks. Hehehe! And then....then....sighhhh, we get to the stop, and w get off the bus. And it's really hard to walk because I'm extremely stiff down there. You know, that uncomfortable kinda hard where your legs hardly work and it feels like your boner is pulling on every muscle you have from your knees to your nipples? God, yeah....like that! Plus I'm trying to look normal while I'm walking with my backpack in front of me, but trying to make it look like I'm not purposely walking with my backpack in front of me. And Brandon's long sexy legs take bigger strides than me, so I'm trying to keep up with him, and hurry up at the same time, but not go too fast because I don't wanna sweat, and....it was just AWESOME!!!! Everything was WOW for me at that moment, and I didn't even get to KISS him yet!
It took me a couple of tries to figure out which key was for the top lock and which key was for the bottom lock, but we got it open at last and went inside. It was so weird being inside Bobby's house when he wasn't there. Or to even be there at all for that matter. It did flash across my mind that I had been having sex with another boy in this house, and that bringing my boyfriend into this 'den of sin' was probably a bad idea. But it would be an understatement if I said that every thought in my head seemed to conveniently disappear when it came to being alone with my baby.I didn't even know what I wanted to do first! I just wanted to do it ALL! We had, like, five HOURS to have sex! Five HOURS, dude!!!! That's like fucking FOREVER!!!
Brandon looked around for a bit, and he kicked off his shoes near the front door. Sighhh...Brandon has awesome sock feet. He really does. He was like, "Are you sure that Bobby said that this was ok? I mean, that we did this in his house?"
"Uh huh!" I said quickly, hoping that I could just force any doubt right out of his mind and get down to business. I didn't want to waste one pole licking MINUTE of this! "He just said not to answer the phone, turn on the music so his neighbors don't hear anything, and that we have to be done by five o'clock. Oh, and not to go through his stuff. That's it." Brandon looked like he was a bit uneasy, and was about to ask me some more questions, but by the time he opened his mouth I already had my shirt off, and I hurried over to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him deeply on the lips! Oh WOW....it was such a RELIEF to be able to press my mouth against his! I had been waiting for soooooo long! It was like I could finally breathe again, and when the surprise wore off, and Brandon began to hug me back, I knew that I was in paradise! TOTAL paradise!
"I love you, Billy..." He said, between kisses, and I could have just died right there.
I'm like, "I LOVE YOU TOO!!!" And I got to actually say it out loud and just...watch his smile brighten right in front of me. Then he kissed me even deeper, and our tongues got into it, and.....Jesus....everything just felt so GOOD! I unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on the floor, so we could start kissing again. His skin is so damn soft. His arms, and his shoulders, and his chest....wow. I love the feeling of running my hands, palms down, over the skin on his back. Just sliding them up and down slowly while tasting the wetness of his tongue. It's like....'magical', you know?
I almost forgot to turn the music on. I didn't ask how loud we should have it, but I figured that it would be cool to not have to worry about anybody overhearing us if we decide to moan or anything. So I turned it about halfway up and closed the blinds. I couldn't wait to get back into my lover's arms again! I gently pushed him back on Bobby's bed, and reached for the button on his jeans. He looked surprised, and he said, "Dude...on his bed?"
And I'm like, "Stop worrying already! He said we could do it! The place is ours for the day! Now wiggle that cute little ass of yours out of these damn jeans!" And he laughed as he helped me shimmy his lean frame out of what was left of his clothes. And in less than a minute, we were naked. Gloriously naked. And hard, and smooth, and just...alone. I swear that Brandon had gotten a half inch bigger than he was the last time I got to wrap my lips around that mouthwatering piece of meat. It was so stiff and tasty, and the tip was so pink...and his thighs were so hot...and his balls were so tender...and he smelled soooo amazing. I wish I could literally lick every inch of his body all at once. I mean, I practically devoured him all over, and sucked until my teeth hurt!
I'm telling you, today was perfect!
We were naked by 12:15...and didn't put any cloths back on until 4:45! And that was only because I thought Bobby might try to come home early or something. But for HOURS...Brandon and I made sweet love over and over and OVER again! We had sex until it HURT, and then we had sex two more times after that! I don't know how much juice I swallowed, but Brandon gave me a full load almost every time. Even when it was his second blast in just a few minutes, it was always enough for a good two or three swallows. I know that I said that I liked having sex with Bobby better than I did Brandon in the past, but I totally take that back now! I mean, today, Brandon was like some kind of porn star or something! Much better than he was the first time, and it felt like he just let go and let himself enjoy it a lot more. Maybe it's because we were alone. But whatever it was, his mouth, and his tongue, and his ass, and his whimpers, and just having his hands hold and caress me, stroke and fondle me, was beyond awesome! It was like....the most erotic sensation that I have ever expeienced before. And whenever we stopped to ctch our breath, I got to just lightly drape my arm over him, and press myself into his smooth leg, and.....'breathe'. Brandon has a sexy 'breathe'. You can just listen to it for hours, it's the most soothing sound in the world.
Shit...my mom is freaking out about the dishes. What is it with Mom's and this obsession with mindless housework? Like the damn dishes are gonna disintegrate if, God forbid, I leave them until tomorrow.
So anyway, today was everything that I dreamed it would be and more! And I asked Brandon if he'd by my 'date' for Jamie's party tomorrow! Hehehe, he totally giggled and said, "What are you talking about? Get outta here, hehehe!"
But I'm like, "NO, I'm serious...I want to go. And I want you to be with me." I looked him softly in the eyes when I said, and he seemed so....I dunno....touched by it. I kissed him on the lips, and he asked me if I meant it for real. And I said, "Of course, I mean it for real. I love you. I wouldn't wanna go to Jamie Cross' party with anybody else."
Then Brandon raised an eyebrow and smiled at me, and I already knew what he was gonna say. So we both said it together. "UNLESS, of course, it was Jamie Cross!" And we both laughed outloud. Awwwww, he's so damn adorable!
We made sure to make up the bed, but I was pretty sure that Bobby was gonna toss the sheets in the wash as soon as he got home. I keptmy promise to not go through any of his stuff. Afterall, I'd flip out if anybody ent rummaging through MY room. So I felt it was only right to respect his space, you know? I kinda wanted to be gone when he got home, but I had to give him his keys back. And Brandon wanted to wait to say thank you to him face to face. Yeah....it made me nervous to even think about it. But I was feeling too damn good to really let the jitters get to me too badly. I hope we did't leave his room smelling like 'sex' and stuff. I made sure to open the window, just in case.
When Bobby came back, he was really being extremely quiet. He hardly looked at me or Branon at all. He just took the keys from me, and hurried us out of the house. Brandon tried to give him a hug and thank him for being so generous, but I don't think I've ever seen Bobby so damn uncomfortable before. He kept turning his back to us, and pretending to be in a hurry to straighten up before his mom got home. He was being weird, but I was too in love to really let it penetrate. I just couldn't stop smiling. I was holding Brandon's hand, and rested my head on his shoulder when he asked Bobby, "Are you SURE that all of this is cool with you, Bobby?"
And Bobby kinda nodded after a short pause, then he looked at me, and he said, "You guys gotta go." So wait...was he like, MAD at me now? He looked kinda mad. Or maybe he just didn't want to talk about me and Brandon being together in his room. Or maybe...well...who KNOWS what his del was? I just wanted to come home and lay back on my bed, and write what happened in this diary so that I could remember it ALWAYS! It happened! And can read it over and over again whenever I want!
ARRRGH!!! Ok, my mom is seriously BUGGING me now! I've gotta go! But I'll write more tomorrow! Promise! Afterall, I've got a date with an angel tomorrow night!
I made sure to take the phone off of the hook tonight, just in case my dad tries to call here and disrupt my plans to go to Jamie's party. I don't see why I should stay home for ditching a class to experience true love, do you? Besides, the more time I spend away from his new girlfriend, the better. Whatever.
Got dishes to wash! I'll see ya later! And Brandon...I love you! I will ALWAYS love you!
My body is sooooo relaxed right now! Hehehe! Sometimes, life tickles. :)