Despite a few naughty interludes here and there, Blake and I made sure to save the main event for the end of the night. I don’t know, there was just something sexy about it. Terrifying in a lot of ways, but sexy too, I think. Because we had a few short talks about what it might be like, and Blake gave me a rather erotic vision of him briefly fingering himself and telling me how badly he wanted to save this for someone who would pleasure him in a way that wouldn’t hurt or take advantage of him if he decided that he wanted to stop. I mean, it was a clumsy conversation at best when we first started, but it didn’t take long before we were both able to speak up about...what we expected from it, I guess? I don’t know. It just...it didn’t seem so weird once we opened up and just started sharing our secret fantasies and all concerning...that part of a boy on boy sexual experience. I think it helped to relieve some of the tension.
Plus, we were both completely naked again at the time. Hehehe, so I think that helped us to just recognize everything as a mutual adventure into a realm of sensual pleasure that we had never once experienced before, and nothing so taboo or nasty as to be avoided or ashamed of. We just talked about what we wanted, and when the sun set, and I plugged in the Christmas tree lights...the only awkward moments that we felt between one another were the ones caused by the anticipation of which one of us was going to say that they were ready to go at it first.
“Aric?” He said, and I quickly sat up straight, wondering if this was going to be the big ‘ask’! My breath short, I tried to calm myself down a bit and answered him. But he just said, “Do you mind if I take another shower? I mean, I’m just a little sticky from...you know...before. Heh...”
“Oh. Yeah, that’s cool.” I replied. “I mean, we’ve been hosing each other down almost every thirty minutes since we started. I should probably take one right after you.” I was making a joke of it all, but blushing furiously the whole time. I mean, I was seriously competing with the Christmas tree now with the shades of color that my cheeks were flashing at this point. And when Blake got up to take his shower, he grabbed some of his street clothes to take with him. Ugh! His obsessive need to cover himself up was so blasphemous to me. It’s like, STOP THAT already!!! He’s too friggin’ hot to feel like he has to wear clothes all the time! It sucks that he feels the need to do so in my presence, even for politeness sake.
Brainwashed modesty, I suppose...
I won’t lie and say that I was patient...because I wasn’t. Visions of old internet porno clips were surging through my mind as I tried to imagine me doing some of the things they do, and just making Blake happy with my efforts to pleasure him, you know? I know what he said about kissing for the first time and all, and how he wouldn’t mind or even know if I was doing it wrong, since it was our first time...but this was a whole other level of passion that seriously worried me beyond just a blush and a few random giggles. This felt like something that I could really get wrong if I wasn’t careful and skilled enough to at least ‘fake it’ long enough to make it seem like I knew what I was doing. I know that I should depend on my self confidence to take over and make this work, but...it bothered me to know how much pressure was suddenly weighing down on me...bringing my dreams into reality before I really knew if I was prepared to handle them with the kind of maturity that I was hoping to have at this point.
Ugh! If I ever needed a Christmas miracle...now would be the time to get one.
I could hear the shower stop, and I immediately tightened up. Wishing that I had just a FEW more minutes to contemplate whether or not I was ready. Or if he was ready. Or if either one of us was ready! Jesus...who thought that something so awesome would be so simultaneously stressful?
And soon…? Blake was walking back into the room, with a towel doing its best to dry off his golden locks, the silky texture dyed a rusty shade of gold from the dampness holding its grip on him...his bright eyes glimmering with joy as he smiled at me and sat back down at my side.
God, he smelled good. SO good!
“Hey...” He grinned, and I felt my nerves get all riled up again as I tried to balance out my infatuated cravings with my insecure terror, hoping that Blake wouldn’t be able to see and recognize either extreme.
“S’up?” I said, followed by a flurry of giggles that Blake thought was extremely cute of me. And then...he kissed me on the lips. A soft kiss...but a meaningful one. A kiss that felt as though it was delivered with a whole other level of intimacy than what we had been sharing so far. A kiss that kick started my heart and made me woozy with a series of romantic vibes that nearly shook me to pieces. Blake was such an inspired representation of the kind of ‘wow’ that life had to offer. And I get to be here to experience it first. How crazy is that?
I’ll tell you how crazy it was...
“...Ok! My turn! I’ll be right back!” Yep...that’s what I nervously blurted out as I suddenly leapt up to my feet and swiftly grabbed some pajamas and my bathrobe and ruined the moment. That’s how crazy it was. What the fuck am I doing??? He was right there! We had already talked about everything...we were getting back to a place of comfort. It’s night. It’s THE night! And that was the best that I could come up with? A panicked display of utter cowardice as I bundled my clothes up in my arms, and looked back at Blake sitting on my bed trying to hold back a few boyish giggles as I roughly bumped into the side of the door frame.
He couldn’t hold it in any longer, and began to laugh at my clumsy attempts to swiftly recover from my embarrassing fumbles. Ugh...like he didn’t literally just see me slam into a solid wall like a dumbass.
“Hehehe, are you ok?” He asked.
“Yeah. I’m...sure. Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” I’m making this worse, aren’t I? Just rush out of there and get your head together. “Ok, bye! Or...I mean, I’ll be right...I’m...uhhh...shower!” Yep. Nailed it!
I made sure that I was around the corner and out of sight before reaching up to rub my sore shoulder. I don’t know why I got turned all upside down all of a sudden, but the pressure of the situation was wrapping itself around my throat and practically choking the breath out of me like some kind of boa constrictor snake. I didn’t know what else to do but fight for oxygen by fleeing the scene and running into the bathroom to get away from him. Strange, considering how hard I worked to just be close to him this weekend.
And what the hell did I bring these pajamas in here for? Wasn’t I the one complaining about Blake wearing too many clothes just a few minutes ago? Maybe it’s just some sort of knee jerk reaction that I hadn’t planned for. Who knows? I just...I need to get out of my own way and out of my head and...breathe. Just breathe.
I didn’t have to wait long for the water to warm up, seeing as Blake was just in here...some of the steam still fogging up the mirror. I just hopped in the shower and tried to scrub myself down as much as possible before the hot water was all used up and I was left trying to rinse the soap and shampoo out of my face and hair with a downpour of an ice cold shower spray. The last thing that I needed to deal with right now was a bad case of major ‘shrinkage’ down there. And just as the heat began to die down, I started to get myself ready. How do I do that, exactly? Hell, I don’t know. But at least I was able to get myself into a completely different head space than the one I was in when I rammed my shoulder into my bedroom door frame. So that’s a step up, right? Moving in the right direction?
I looked at my pajamas, and something about them just...they felt ‘goofy’. You know? What am I even doing? I just left them up on the side of the sink, and I wrapped my bathrobe around my naked body...taking one last look in the mirror to tease my hear with my fingers for a moment as I anxiously awaited the moment that I had been dreaming about since puberty first kicked itself into high gear. Alright...here goes everything.
I walked back into the bedroom, and I saw Blake laying back on my bed, reading one of my older tabloid mags with a grin. Even scared, there’s something about me laying eyes on that boy that manages to soothe me. Every time. “Anything interesting in that one?” I asked him.
“Hehehe, it says you can send away for a package of tiny whales that you can keep in an aquarium in your house. That seems pretty cool. It says here that they have little blowholes and everything. So they squirt little streams of water. How awesome would it be to have a pet like that?” He smiled.
“Oh yeah. I remember that one.” I said. “You know, if they can put all of this thought and energy into making up a fake story about this stuff, just imagine if they had someone working on making it a real life thing, you know?” I said, sitting next to him on the bed as he scooted up to sit up next to me and share the paper with me.
“I’d definitely get a couple of them if I had the money. I think that would make for one hell of a pet.” He said.
I was getting lost in the beauty of him all over again, but I began to tremble slightly as ideas of how to get things started up all over again from scratch began to rumble through me. I thought that maybe undoing the belt on my robe and letting it casually fall open next to him would maybe give him a hint. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to really notice. He was still focused on the tabloid, and the room got really quiet, really fast. Still, being this close to him was making me stiffen up again...and I fidgeted a bit as I began to get a little uncomfortable with the obscene display of it. It pulsed excitedly with every beat of my racing heart, and when it felt like I couldn’t stand another moment of intense anticipation...I leaned over to quickly give Blake a kiss on the cheek. Catching him by surprise, I searched his stunning blue eyes for some kind of reaction that would maybe give me a hint as to whether I should go any further or simply stop while I was ahead. After all...this weekend has already turned out to b the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I didn’t want to spoil the Christmas magic by being greedy.
But, when I found myself unable to read his expression as much as I was hoping I’d be able to on instinct alone, I tried to deflect by turning my attention back to the tabloid. “You know, I think this is the one where the ghost of Patrick Swayze actually broke up a fight in a real life bar...”
“Aric…?” He said, his voice shaking a little bit.
“Huh?” We were so close...staring at one another again...and yet I felt as though I was a million miles away from his tender touch. “I’m sorry. Am I being weird again?”
“No more than I am.” He replied.
“Yeah. Well, like...sorry...” I told him, lowering my gaze back to my newspaper distraction.
But Blake lightly reached up to caress the side of my face, his fingers touching the damp strands of my hair. And he said, “I’m nervous too, you know?”
“I didn’t say that I was nervous...”
“Well? Tell me. Are you nervous, Aric?”
With a heavy sigh, I said, “I am SO nervous! Jesus!” I swear, I need some kind of impulse control training. I’m pretty sure that this isn’t normal for teen boys like me. “It’s not because of you or anything, I’m just...”
“It’s ok.” He said. “I get it. Just...I want this as much as you want it. And if you change your mind, then we can just go back downstairs and play some more pool until the sun comes up. I just want to enjoy being here with you for a while. Being a part of something special. Looking into your eyes...and knowing that you’re looking back. If you’re looking to impress me, that already happened when we walked home together from the strip mall. You’ve got nothing else to prove. I promise.”
With a blush and a smile, I said, “You definitely make it easy to fall head over heels in love with you, you know that?”
“Ditto.” He said. And he leaned in to kiss me on the lips. This one lingered for a bit longer, and when he leaned away from me, I leaned in for more. This time allowing my tongue to enter his mouth as we closed our eyes and began to make out once again. There it was...that level of comfort and craving that had abandoned me as paranoid thoughts of rejection and ridicule moved in to keep me from being as blissfully happy as I always wanted to be. Funny how that works, isn’t it.
As I felt myself getting even harder than before, I felt Blake’s hand on my thigh sliding up to take a hold of the pulsing hardness and give it a few painfully slow and measured strokes. I could feel my manic thoughts and passions go blank...and a deep need for an escalation of our shared intimacy slid right in to take its place. So sweet. So unfathomably awesome.
But when Blake parted his lips from my own and asked, “Do you wanna try?” I had to fight off the insane urge to tighten up my defenses all over again.
Instead, I just nodded my head and heard my voice squeak slightly as I said, “Um...yeah. Ok.” Blake smiled, and I grinned back at him as I stood up from the bed and went over to my dresser drawer. I had been hiding some condoms from my parents in a bundle of ugly Christmas socks that I never wear, and I took them out along with a small jar of Vaseline. I’ve seen enough adult films and read enough online stories to know that this is supposed to make everything feel good for him. They never really go into detail about it, but I was pretty confident that I’d be able to figure it out. It’s not like I needed instructions, right?
Blake looked over my shoulder to see what I was doing, and he saw the condoms, giggling cheerfully. “Look at you, being a gentleman.”
“Shut up...” I replied shyly. I used a finger to get a decent amount of the gel on the tip, and then I put it in the palm of my right hand. Oh wait...shit. I probably should have opened the condom packet first. My hand would be too slick to do it now. I ummm...ok, I got it. “Can you open this?” I asked Blake, and he reached out for it, doing his best to tear off the top. I made sure to get my hand all greasy and slick, and then I turned around to sit back down beside him again. He seemed to be fumbling a bit with the packet, and I thought about the finger on my left hand, which still had some Vaseline on it. I should ummm...where do I wipe it off? I’ll just...I’ll wipe it off on my sheets. There. Problem solved. Blake got the package open with his teeth, and I know it’s already supposed to be lubricated or whatever, but I figured...the more slippery, the better. Right? “Cool...thanks.” I said as he handed it to me.
I looked at it for a second, and it was like...still flat. So I used my non-greasy hand to unroll it a bit and then shake it out. Then I took my other hand and started wiping it over the condom a few times while still holding on to it. It felt kind of weird, but I guess this is how you’re supposed to do this. “Hehehe, Aric?”
“Dude, what are you doing?” He asked me.
“Oh...well, I heard that it feels better if you use lube and stuff. But I don’t have any actual lube, so I figured that Vaseline would be, like, a decent substitute for when we...”
Blake laughed, “It might help if you actually put it ON first!”
I looked down at my hands, trying to smear stuff all over a loose condom in my other hand, and my blush deepened as I scoffed and said, “Yeah. I knew that. Of course I knew that. Psh! I was just...you know...getting stuff started first.” Then I tried to slip the unrolled condom over my erection with one greased hand and one regular hand...obviously having a decent amount of trouble with it all.
“Wait. Here...let me...” Blake took a hold of it, and then he spread the latex opening and gently put it over my already leaking tip. He was careful to slide it further down on me a little bit at the time. I twitched once or twice as he caught one of the few hairs that I had down there...but by the time he had gotten me all the way covered down to the base, I felt much better about this whole condom practice thingy. God, did it feel good! “Ok, try now.”
I grabbed a hold of my manhood, and yes...this works much better. SO much better. And everything got so slick and wet and sensitive that I had almost forgotten that I was supposed to be using this boner to please my actual boyfriend and not just myself. Geez! My mind is such a minefield of distractions sometimes.
It was at this point that Blake stood up and removed the clothes that he was wearing, and I was quick to yank my robe off to join him. Before we knew it, we were embracing one another and deeply tongue kissing again before falling back down to my mattress to wrap our arms and legs around each other...feeling the smooth, flawless, surface of our heated flesh as we bonded with all of the love and passion that our bodies could manage to produce. It was an experience that left me both dizzy and breathless...and I haven’t even explored the newest territory yet.
And as I leaned down to kiss and suck and taste the side of Blake’s neck...he whispered, “I’m ready now. I’m SO ready now...”