Friday - Shhh....omigod...I TOTALLY can't believe this is happening right now!
I'm in the kitchen right now, it's like 3 o'clock in the morning...and my BOYFRIEND is sleeping completely NAKED in my bed right now! Like...COMPLETELY naked!
It is really hard not to SCREAM right now! But I've gotta be quiet right now. Otherwise I'll have to write this tomorrow. Brandon still hasn't seen this diary yet, and I don't think I'm even close to being able to show it to him yet. I don't know, maybe ONE day..but...not now, you know? Besides, he wouldn't know how to take it. There's too much in here about Bobby, and Lee, and Jamie, and Joanna, and....it just wouldn't 'read' right to someone who was still unsure about how I felt about him, you know? But...I invited him over tonight, and now that my mom is out of the picture, we got to be truly alone for the first time No time limits whatsoever. And no guilt lingering over fucking Bobby in order to get the space either. It was just....us tonight. And when I slowly crept out of my bedroom and looked back at Brandon, he was laying there, with only a little bit of sheet covering his legs, his sweet ass still showing, as he laid there on his stomach and snored softly...I truly felt the overwhelming sensation of a love both given and returned. I don't think I've ever known anything so complete before. Not a day in my life. How did I come this far in my life without knowing a JOY like this?
We've already had sex, like, three and a half times already! And THAT'S because we started late! (I say a half, because one of those times we both came a lot, and then we just kept kissing and rolling around until we came a second time. So that was like...a 'halfie'. But the second cum is sooooo good when you do it twice in a row!) I am SO psyched to see what it's like to wake up next to Brandon in the morning!Like, I can't even imagine what that would be like! And if I wake up first...I'm TOTALLY gonna blow him while he's sleeping! Hehehe, oh wow, imagine waking up all warm and tingly, snuggled under the covers with your sweetheart, and the FIRST thing you have to look forward to is hot boy sex! Ahhhh!!!! I can't WAIT until morning, but unfortunately, I can't sleep either. I suppose I'll just pass out when the time comes for my body to shut down. And if not...well, I'll just wake Brandon up and do it again! Hehehe!
You know, our sex has gotten to be so much hotter the last couple of times. It's like we found some kind of joint rhythm in everything we do together now. Plus, nobody humps and kisses better than Brandon does. Hehehe, seriously, it's like...he kisses you really deep while he's on top of you...and his hips make, like, these awesome circles that kind grind on you and make you feel reallygood. And he's not heavy at all, so I can just wrap my arms and legs around him and hold him while he totally covers me. I love it. I REALLY love it!
Anyway, let me quit getting myself all hard and horny again so I can finish this...
So I got to thinking about this so called 'party' tomorrow, and this morning everything seemed pretty cool. I was convinced that I could host a little gathering without incident, right? But once I got to talking to Sam this morning, everything started to slide downhill from there.
He asked me, "So are you ready for tomorrow?"
And I'm like, "Yeah. I think so. I guess I've gotta clean up a little bit, but..."
Then he's like, "A little bit? Dude, you have to do a total redesign of your house!" Which seemed a bit crazy to me, so I naturally asked him what the hell he was talking about. He's all, "Dude...first of all, you've got hide EVERYTHING that's even slightly uncool!"
I wrinkled up my forehead and said, "Uncool? Like what?"
And Sam sighed as though he couldn't believe I wasn't aware of my apparent 'dorkiness'. "You've gotta hide the stuffed bunny in your bedroom window for starters. All your old action figures, all your comic books, any 'guilty pleasure pop music' CDs you've got...everything!"
I was like, "I...I do?"
He said, "YES! If people come over and see that stuff, you'll have to live with those scars for the rest of your high school days!" I really hadn't thought of that. Then he tells me, "Have you taken a survey the pictures your mom has on the fridge and in the living room yet?"
And I gasped. "Oh shit! The picture of me dressed up like the cowardly lion for Halloween when I was 7!"
Sam nodded. "Exactly. And the pictures of you sitting in your mom's lap in the living room, and the picture of you in your little baby sailor outfit? You've gotta get rid of that shit! Suppose some really hot girl walks by, and she's like 'Oh, Billy is throwing such an awesome party. I'm totally gonna take him outside and lick his balls until he cums in my hair!'...and then she sees you dressed up like some sissy lion on a picture in the kitchen? NOW she's gonna be like, 'Oh wow, what a pussy. Now I've gotta go and nut-bathe some other loser!' You can't have that!"
Needless to say, Sam, very quickly, reduced me to a terrified mess by the time he finished telling me all that I had to do in preparation for this party. I had to find music to play before the DJ got there. I needed to move furniture around. I had to put all my breakable stuff in the bedroom. I had to hide anything small enough for people to steal. I had to get some snacks and shit to munch on. I needed a room for people to put their coats. I had to tell people not to just start parking up on my front lawn so my neighbors get suspicious. Shit...this was a lot of...WORK!
I had to remember to tell Jamie Cross that the party was definitely 'on'...although that was a bit scary for me. It's really hard for me to just 'walk up and talk' to him like he's..NORMAL, you know? He's, like, constantly surrounded with this giant force field made out of fear and awkwardness, and the second you step into it, you're completely at his mercy. Still, I managed to give him my address on a piece of paper, and told him that I guess we'd be starting at 8 o'clock. (That sounds like a decent party time...right?) Anyway, he's like, "Sweet! Thanks, dude! I'll be there. Do you mind if I photocopy this for a few of my friends? We might be coming separately." And I told him that was cool. Soooo...Jamie Cross is coming to my house...tomorrow. Sweet Jesus...what have I done?
The thing is..during my biology class, I started doing the math in my head, and something seemed a bit off. I took out some notebook paper to write it down...and this was NOT a 'few' people anymore. I mean there's Sam and Joanna, Teddy and Phil, and their two dates, and Bobby, and Brandon. That's eight. Then Lee and a few of his friends, and the DJ, plus whoever HE brings with him. Which would be around fifteen. Then there's Jamie Cross and two or three of his friends, which if THEY bring dates, then that's closer to twenty five. Now...I SHOULD stop there, but then Kevin asked me if he could come with HIS girl friend, and Melissa wants to come with a few of HER friends...and then I had to invite Jimmy LaPlane because it would have been a shitty thing to do if I didn't. He seemed a little reluctant at first when he heard that Lee was going to be there, but he agreed to go anyway, and said he'd do anything to spend more time with me. Now...if Jimmy comes, then I'm sure he's gonna be bringing Stacy and the girls with him too. So now...I'm RAPIDLY approaching 40 to 50 people! But I couldn't STOP! Everybody started text messaging each other about it, and they heard it was MY house...and all of the sudden I had people that I had maybe seen TWICE the whole school year asking me for directions! I think one of them even called me 'Mike'! What the hell is happening here???
THEN...I had Simon talk to me a bit today, and HE sorta hinted that he didn't have anything going on this weekend...and Simon NEVER gets invited to parties. So it's not like I couldn't invite him. And he was super happy about that, and started making plans the second I told him what time it started. AND...I ran into that boy that helped me out in the bathroom that one day. The cute boy with the light brown dreadlocks and the chocolate brown eyes? And I still kinda owed him one for helping me out, and I didn't know if he had already heard about the party or not, so I didn't want to make it look like I was avoiding his invite on purpose. So now HE'S coming too.
By the way, I finally got to ask him what his name was. And he's like, "Trace." Which I thought was a nickname or something, but he said, "My mom had the wonderful idea to name me Tracy, but that's a bit girly to me. So it's just Trace." You know...now that I look at his eyes a little bit closer, I think they've got some green in them. Maybe they're not all the way brown. He's cute though.
So...yeah, I cleaned up my room and hid everything that could possibly be seen as 'uncool'. And then waited for my mom to leave for the weekend. She didn't really question my sudden need to clean my room, but I think she was afraid to stop me for fear that it would never happen again. She had me help her pack up the car, and gave me a billion and one double checks. She gave me money for food too. EXTRA money, in fact! She made sure to give me all the emergency numbers ten times, and told me to call my dad if ANYTHING went wrong! I almost couldn't get her out of the damn house! I told Brandon to come over around 10, and it was already 9:45! I just needed her to GO already! I had to promise her 100 times that I'd be ok and that I'd call for any help if I needed it. And finally...she got in her car, and she left.
You know...I think it was only 20 minutes later that Brandon showed up at my front door, but...for those 20 minutes...I just stood there and appreciated the silence. The house was never so quiet. It never felt so BIG. It was like...'MINE'. The whole HOUSE was mine! I could do whatever I WANTED to, and there was nobody to stop me. I spread my arms out and smiled and just felt like spinning in circles. Hehehe, the freedom...it's AMAZING!
And that brings me right back to me and Brandon getting naked and sucking each other's brains out all night! And then we watched TV in the dark in my bed together, with me spooned up against him and his leg over me until he fell asleep. I almost didn't want to slip out from under his loving arms...but I really wanted to write this down while it was still fresh in my mind. I didn't want to miss a single detail.
I'm happy. Do you hear me? I'm REALLY happy! Hehehe, and I'm gonna close this book up, and slide right back under the sheets with my hot naked boyfriend, the 'prettiest' boy in school...and snuggle up until we wake up in the morning and have as much sex as we can before the party. Hehehe...life is good. Life is really good.
See ya soon.