I began to wonder whether or not I had been too forward or aggressive in my approach when Blake began avoiding my eye contact. Almost like he felt a bit ashamed to ask for my help, even if he needed it now more than ever. Chicago Winters are no joke. People, legit, die out here if they don't have some sort of decent shelter. I won't lie and say that I don't have my own selfish reasons for wanting to spend the day...the night...maybe even the whole weekend, with one of the most stunning heartbreakers that I've ever had the good fortune to come across in my life...because I most definitely do. But, that aside, I just want to help. Consider it my way of saying 'thank you' for making me feel something that I've never really felt for another boy before. I just feel as though he really awakened something in me. And he did it all with a wink and a smile.
As soon as I paid for a few bags of chips and a couple of iced teas, and of course grabbing my tabloid fix for the evening, I handed half the snacks over to Blake and he softly mumbled a thanks, looking down at his shoes as if he felt bad for taking it. Then I saw him dig in his pocket, where he pulled out a quarter and two dimes. "Here. I know it's not enough, but...it's all I've got." Then he suddenly corrected himself. "Right now, I mean! Just at the moment. I mean, who carries cash around anymore, right?" He grinned.
I immediately gave him the change back. "Certainly not me." I said. "Keep it. My mom and dad gave me more than enough allowance to last the weekend and grab us some snacks on top of it. So, I'm cool."
"Are you sure?" He asked. "Because you can, like...have it. You know? I'm doing fine."
"Nah. It's ok." I smiled, and he smiled back at me. It made me a little weak in the knees at first, but I was able to keep my composure long enough to walk out of the store with him following right behind me. I noticed that a rather vicious chill ran through him as soon as we were out in the elements again. He sucked in a deep breath and tried to shake it off, his teeth chattering slightly as he folded his arms and tried to embrace some of his own body heat as he tried to get used to the snowy weather again. "Don't worry, I don't live that far away. We'll be there in no time."
"M'kay..." He shivered. Then I saw him open up the bag of chips and shove a few handfuls in his mouth almost immediately. He must have been pretty hungry, the way he chewed it up and swallowed it down so quickly, sucking his fingertips to get every granule of salt was as precious as the potato chips themselves.
The strip mall was playing a cheerful collection of Christmas music outside as we felt the snow and ice crunch under our feet, and there was a Salvation Army Santa standing in front of a collection pail, loudly ringing a bell as he greeted everyone that walked past him with a smile and a nod. That bell just always seems like one of the most recognizable sounds of Christmas for me. I don't think it would really be an appropriate holiday season without it. But as we passed by the guy in the Santa suit and smiled at us, I wished him a Merry Christmas and smiled back at him. But then I saw Blake wipe his hand off on the front of his hoodie to reach into his pocket again...taking out his quarter and two dimes again...and he donated them by dropping them in the pail.
"Merry Christmas." He said, and the Santa thanked him for the help.
As we were walking away, with Blake still chilled to the bone, I couldn't help but to marvel at how much heart he had, you know? I mean...he had next to nothing...but he gave it away anyway. How awesome is that? "That was cool..." I said softly.
"What?" Then he said, "Oh. The change? It wasn't going to do much for me anyway. Might as well give it to somebody who can actually use it for something good. If it get a kid a toy robot or something to put under the tree, then it'll be totally worth it. Heh..." He grinned, "Besides, I got some good luck today...just by having you come by. I've got some chips, and something to drink, and maybe a good friend. When the universe gives you good things, you've gotta balance it out by giving back. You know?"
"Totally." I said. "I do the same thing, dude. Like...get that good karma train started, right?"
"True. So very true." He told me. "Then again...I dunno...maybe I'm just really easy to please."
"That's good to know. Because I doubt that I have a whole lot to offer. Hehehe!"
"I wouldn't say that. You definitely made my day." He said, and I felt myself nearly wiggling right out of my own skin. Especially when he winked at me. It was too cute for me to bear. I'm surprised I didn't stumble over my own feet, swooning with an intense infatuation that threatened to make me feel faint and woozy in his presence. I had to remember to breathe and hold myself together. And while I was able to blush and giggle my way through his sudden compliment...I found my warm and fuzzy feelings being contrasted by a few turbulent chills of my own. And not from the weather.
My mind began to spin around, working overtime to try and think this through logically. I mean, here I was, practically drooling over this cute boy that I've only spoken to a handful of times, all while entertaining thoughts of us suddenly finding our way into this sweeping romance that doesn't even exists...and I don't even know if he's GAY or not! And even if I did, that doesn't exactly mean that he's going to be interested in me, specifically. It's like...what if I'm wasting my time? What if he breaks my heart, calls me a disgusting fag, and storms out of my house to never talk to me again? What if I flirt with him or something, and he thinks that I only brought him home for sexual favors like some kind of predator? How would he feel if he thought that I was expecting him to blow me for the price of a bag of chips and an iced tea? I didn't want him to think that about me! That's not what this is. I swear.
But still...what if he thinks it is?
"You alright?" Blake asked me as we were walking towards my house. "You got all quiet on me, there, for a while."
"Uh huh. Just thinking." I said.
"Ahhh, contemplating the complex ways of the universe, I see." He giggled. "Any big revelations that I should know about?"
"Not really. " I smiled. "Other than...you know...I think you made my day too." I felt like a shaky wreck of a human being saying the words out loud, but I couldn't say that it wasn't the truth. I had so many questions...but I was trying not to pry to deep, too fast, for fear of scaring him off. I mean, am I being a weirdo? I hope I don't come off as some kind of a dangerous stranger.
"Hehehe, good to know." He said. "See? My karma is balancing itself out all over again.
"Yeah. Mine too..." I smirked, peeking over at him a few times to keep from staring too hard. He really was amazing though. You have no idea.
When we finally got to my house, Blake's shivers had gotten really bad, and I just had this need to get him inside. I was cold too...but all I did was walk six blocks to the store and then six blocks back. For all I know, Blake might have been outside all day long. Not even the Salvation Army Santa could boast that kind of exposure while he was out there. But when we got there and I told him that this was my house, he seemed surprised.
"Wait...really?" He asked.
"Yeah. Why?" I said.
"Dude...this is a really NICE house!" He was looking all around, and I thought that he might have entertained the thought that were breaking into somebody else's house. Hehehe! Was it really that nice? I don't know. I grew up in this house. Maybe I take it for granted or something. "Are you sure it's ok if I come inside?"
"What the...? Why wouldn't it be? Come on!" I snickered. And I led him up the sidewalk to the front porch, opening the front door with my key as Blake kept staring in awe of the place. He hesitated for a moment at the front door, looking around inside first, before stomping and wiping the snow off of his sneakers, stepping in to remove them immediately at the front door. "Give me a second, ok? I'll turn the heat up a bit more so we can warm up."
"O-o-ok..." he said nervously. "Can I...ummm...can I sit down, or...?"
"Sure! Make yourself at home!" I said. "Be right back, k?" And I hurried over to turn the temperature up. Eighty degrees should be warm enough without being too much, right? I don't know. Hopefully it'll help to take the chill out of him.
When I came back in the living room, he was sitting in the easy chair, and seemed comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. Ugh...I was coming off as weird, wasn't I? Why is he uncomfortable? What did I do? I should fix this before he starts squirming and wants to leave.
"I'm sorry." He said. "My socks are a little wet. Snow and sneakers don't really make a good match. I can take them off it you want. I don't wanna track wet footprints all over your carpet and stuff..."
"Yeah, if you want to. I don't care, either way." I told him. "Actually, I can put them in the dryer if you want. Or, like...I can wash and dry all of your clothes right now, if you want." Wait...did I just ask Blake to get naked? That came out wrong!"
"For free?" He asked.
I was a bit confused by the question at first, but then I caught up and said, "OH! Yeah! Of course! We've got a washer and dryer in the garage. Just, ummm...I mean...I've got some clothes in my room that you can change into if you want. We're pretty close to being the same size right?"
"I...I think so." He said.
"Cool! Done deal! Let me, uhhh...ok, well hold on a sec. I'll go upstairs and get some sweats and a T-shirt or something...and some more socks too. Then you can, like...change in the bathroom or whatever. K?"
"Seriously? Dude, that would be awesome." Blake said, then bashfully asked, "I mean...I don't wanna get your clean clothes dirty or anything. I've been sorta...walking around all day and stuff. I don't suppose it would be too much to ask to maybe take a hot shower or something, first?"
It's times like this that I really WISH that I had a hidden 'pervert cam' in the upstairs bathroom!!!
The very thought of Blake being totally naked and wet and standing in the tub with soap suds and shampoo bubbles sliding down his sleek body as he closed his eyes and let the warm water relax his muscles just...it nearly made me pop an erection right then and there. Shaking and short of breath, I said, "I uhhh...yeah. We've got...like...we've got a shower."
Blake giggled. "That's good to hear."
"Ok, well...it's just up the stairs and it's the first door on the right." I said. We both paused for a moment, with me finding myself completely frozen like a deer in headlights as his baby blue eyes gazed into mine. He makes it sooooo hard to breathe sometimes.
"Ok. Cool." He said, but...still doubting himself on whether he was being too intrusive or not, he said, "You're sure it's cool though, right? I mean, using your shower?" He made sure to let me know, "It's just because I'm wearing your clothes and stuff. I might as well be clean."
"It's no problem. Honestly." My eyes involuntarily drifted downward to peek at his groin area. I just...I don't know...it just sort of happened. I hope he didn't see me do that.
"Whoah...your Christmas tree is huge!" He said, his attention snatched away by the ceiling tall tree that my dad brought home from the home improvement store shortly after Thanksgiving. It was all decorated with a ton of ornaments and garland and an angel on top. "Does it turn on?" He asked.
"Oh yeah! Totally!" I moved over to plug it into the wall, and all of the lights came to life...shining brightly for a minute or two before they began to blink and sparkle and race around the tree, just like they were programmed to do. I think that Blake was more amazed by that than I expected him to be. "You like?"
"Dude!" He smiled, reaching his hand out to just touch the tree and feel it with his fingers...almost as if he was just trying to figure out if this was actually real. "This is like the stuff you see in the mall store Christmas windows. This is incredible. You get to have this in your house? Like...all the time?"
I thought that was a bit of an awkward question at first, but I straightened up and simply responded with, "Yeah. Well, I mean my dad is the big Christmas spirit buff, so he always gets excited about decorating the windows and the front porch and the tree every year. My mom? Not so much. I mean she enjoys the holiday and stuff, but I think she looks at all of this as another chore to take care of, you know? Like...we're making a mess of the house that won't be cleaned up for another two weeks or so."
Blake smiled widely as he walked over to the window and ran his fingers over the glass. "Oh man. What is this? It looks like it's frosted over or something."
"It's like this 'spray' thing that my dad uses to accentuate the edges." I said. "It's cool right?"
"Very cool. I don't think I'ver seen anything like...oh wait! Omigod! I'm sorry!" He gasped. "I didn't mean to wipe it off the window! Aric, I'm sorry!"
"Hehehe! It's fine! Dude, look..." I reached around the Christmas tree to grab the spray can, and I put it on the window to cover up the place where his fingers had wiped it away. "There. Good as new."
"Wicked..." He said. God, I wish I could kiss him right now. His lips were so inviting at that very moment. It was hard to resist a spontaneous lunge forward that I was almost certain that I'd regret later one. "Your house is so cool, Aric. Wow..."
"Thanks." I said, and found myself staring at him again for a few silent moments before he cleared his throat and broke the connection.
"So...the shower is upstairs?" He asked.
"Oh! Omigod! Yeah, just follow me!" I said, and Blake walked up the steps behind me as we went to the second floor. The bathroom was right over there on the right side of the hall, but I took him into my bedroom first. Thank God it was clean today! I have a tendency to just sort of throw my clothes about and toss them all around without thinking sometimes...but today, it looked pretty good. "Ummm...I'm pretty sure that my sweatpants will fit you." I reached up to the top shelf of my closet and pulled down some of my light gray sweats and then gave him a white t-shirt to go with it. I also opened up a drawer and got him some thick white socks to go along with it. I mean, it's not like I was trying to put together a fashionable outfit or anything, I just wanted him to be warm and comfortable. Something that he seemed to appreciate, even if he didn't say it out loud. He simply nodded and smiled at me.
"Thanks. This is great." Blake said.
"I have, like...boxer shorts, or briefs, too. I mean...they were just washed yesterday, so..."
"That's ok. I don't wan to put your undies on. Hehehe! That might be crossing a line." He grinned. "Would you mind if I just totally 'free balled' it in your sweats instead?"
I think that's the sexiest thing that Blake has ever said to me. "Yeah...that's cool with me too." I said, feeling the butterflies in my stomach go WILD with anticipation of what might possibly happen next! And even if nothing happens at all...there's no WAY that I'm not going to turn those gray sweats inside out after he leaves and smother my friggin' FACE with them, just knowing that he was completely naked under there a few hours earlier! Oh wow...just inhaling a bit of his scent through the fabric of those sweatpants would make me cum so HARD!
Oh God...sorry. I'm getting a little lusty now. I'm trying to restrain myself from getting too far out of control. I swear. It's just...wow. If you could only see him with your own eyes. Hear the angel's song that is his voice. Feel the sweet surface of his teen boy skin. You'd understand how I'm feeling right now. I can't even believe that he's in my house right now. That he wants to use my shower. That he's going to be wearing some of my clothes when he's done.
My parents would freak out in a MAJOR way if they knew that I had a boy like this in our house right now while they weren't around to chaperone us! Omigod, please be gay! Please, please, PLEASE, be gay! I've never had a boyfriend before. I've never had sex, or even made out with another boy before! What if Blake turns out to be my first time? I mean...can I actually 'peak' at fourteen? Because I can't even fathom another boy coming along who could even compete with a sensual delight like this. Or even come close.
If this doesn't work out, am I going to spend the rest of my life trying to find somebody who can compare and compete with the violent tremors that I'm feeling in my heart right now? How would that possible?
If this isn't true love...then I don't think that I'd ever be able to actually handle the real thing if I ever faced it. It's too much. I'm fidgeting and shifting from foot to foot in front of him like some kind of scared little pet right now.
"So...it's right over here, right?" Blake asked, pointing towards the bathroom.
"Yeah. I'll bring you a towel and washcloth from the pantry in a second. K?" I said. "Do you want me to put your iced tea in the fridge for later. I noticed that you didn't even open it."
"Oh...well, it was cold out. I didn't want to make it worse." He said. "But I'm SUPER thankful for it though! Maybe I'll drink it when I come out, k?"
"That makes sense." I said, and then after a few thoughts about it, I said, "Wait...you know what? We've got some hot chocolate and a bag of those really big marshmallows. Do you want that instead? You know...just to warm up a little bit?"
"Whoah. Hehehe, that sounds awesome." He said. "But you have to have some with me."
"Well, that's an easy sell. I LOVE hot chocolate! I'll make us some! It'll be ready by the time you ummm...by the time...you..." I kept picturing him naked and sopping wet, and as soon as my erection began to swell again, I decided to cut things short and just get out of there before I embarrassed myself. "...Well...just, go ahead and get cleaned up, and then you can give me your clothes when you come out. K? I'll be like...I'll be right out here. So...bye." Ugh! Did I just say, 'Bye'? I'm such a friggin' NERD!
Blake just giggled and I saw him put the clothes that I gave him on the side of the sink. And when I went to the pantry to grab him a bath towel and washcloth and came back, he was taking his hoodie off.
Wooo! This was going to be a bit harder than I thought it was going to be!