Friday - This is all wrong. Why do I suddenly feel as though I've been stabbed in the back here by 'Mr. Sweetie Face'???
Ok, listen to this...
I saw Brandon this morning, right? Which is always a good thing, because it makes me feel all giddy and soft inside. Especially when the 'weasel' isn't around. So he's kinda stressing over some homework that he didn't get a chance to finish last night, and I'm just...I'm trying to use the few months that I've got to make him smile. Just ONCE before I go. I mean, it would just, like, make my whole day, you know?
What got to him was when I reminded him of this one time when he accidentally laughed while he was drinking lemonade, and I made it totally come out of his nose! Hehehe, he was coughing and sputtering for like TWO days after that! It was the only thing that got Brandon to giggle, and the biggest blush came to his cheeks. It was sooooo cute! He's like, "You remember the most horrible things, Billy! Geez!"
And I'm like, "Fuck that, it was funny as hell! Hehehe! And then you tried to wipe it on my shirt, and I had to roll away just to get away from your freaky...'lemonade snot face'.." Which made us both break out into a fit of laughter. And the BEST thing is...while he was trying to keep from doubling over, he put a hand on my shoulder! I mean...maybe it didn't mean a whole lot to him, but it was like MAGIC to me, feeling his touch again. I had forgotten how softly his hand used to lay on my chest while we were together. How it used to slowly stroke my cheek while he looked into my eyes. And then he'd lean in all slow and romantic...and our lips would touch. And it was like...the coolest 'wow' in the world, you know? It made me melt every time. Especially when he made this soft little moan in the back of his throat. That was always an extra special kiss...whenever he made that sound. God, I miss that.
Anyway, it was over all too soon, and he took his hand off of my shoulder. But he was still kinda smiling. So I still felt pretty good to share a laugh or two with him. We walked to my next class together, and then he stood outside with me for a few moments to talk for a bit more. Mostly about 'school-stuff', but it brightened up my spirit all the same. Then I was like, "So...you wanna...?" I stopped myself to make sure that I asked this question just right. Then I said, "Do you mind if maybe I...stop by and have lunch with you guys today?" It made me nervous to ask. I can't understand why. If anything, I should be showing up at their lunch table every opportunity I get. Especially when me and Brandon are getting along so well. But...for some reason...even after all this time, Brandon still has the power to give me a bad case of the wiggles with his pretty eyes alone.
He says, "Sure. Sounds like a plan. It's Salisbury steak day. Stevie likes it but...yucckkk!" He made the CUTEST 'yuck' face imaginable! GOD!!! It was soooo hard to not just jump forward and kiss him on the mouth as hard as I could! I hope he couldn't see me staring at him with that silly, dreamy, goofy, grin on my face.
I'm like, "Cool."
And he's like, "Alright, I'll see ya then." He smiled the whole time. And he touched my shoulder. And he invited me to lunch. I was walking on air, dude! Seriously!
Then...I went to lunch after fourth period...
...And things went to shit from there.
See...I go to Brandon's locker instead of just going to the cafeteria. I figured that way I could actually meet Brandon after class and walk down to the lunch line with him, and we'd get some more time to talk alone. He can be really addictive once you get him to smile. I wanted more, you know? Well..when I come down the steps...there's...fucking...'Weasel Face' Stevie leaning up against it, waiting for him too. I totally wanted to turn around before he saw me, but of course...he sees fucking everything. So he's like, "Sup, Billy? Dude, how are you?"
I was like, "Well...actually...you know what, I think I left one of my books upstairs, so..." I was trying to find a reason to leave, but then I saw Brandon coming from the other end of the hall, and I tell Stevie, "...Actually, it's no big deal. I don't need it."
So Brandon looks up and smiles, and both me and Stevie kinda give him a wave. I don't know what the hell HE'S waving for! Brandon was so obviously smiling at ME. But whatever. The thing is, I kinda fixed my hair a little bit and straightened out my shirt. Not for any big reason really, I just...I wanted to look cute, you know? For Brandon. And...ater getting myself together, I noticed that Stevie was just giving me this...this 'look'.
It's hard to explain, really. It was like...his smile faded a little bit, and he just...stared at me for a second or two Like...this weird 'what the hell do you think you're doing' look, you know? Not that I give a fuck. Of all the times I tried to get him to back the hell off, the boy scout chooses NOW to take a freakin' hint!
I don't think he knows, or even suspects for that matter. But that was the first time he ever really let the idea cross his mind, I'm sure of it. I don't know...maybe that's a bad thing. I mean, I was getting all cozy and friendly with Brandon earlier this morning, and it made me kinda cocky about the whole thing, I guess. I might have pushed too hard, too fast. And I'll tell you why.
When we get down to the lunchroom, and we sit down at the table...I notice that Stevie's eyes kinda watch me a bit closer than normal. I mean, he's usually so caught up in Brandon and being all lovey dovey around him, that he can hardly wipe the ice cream smile off of his lips long enough to wonder about what I'M up to. But not today. Even though he was smiling and laughing like always...it was just a little bit different than it was before.
Anyway, so I'm talking to Brandon, and I'm making him laugh as we start talking about that party we went to at Jamie Cross' house. Brandon's being REALLY awesome to me, and my heart is seriously falling in love with him all over again. Then you know what that Stevie fucker does??? He's like, "That's so sweet that you guys went out to a party together. Sounds like you had an amazing time. I hope we have half as much fun this weekend at the movies, Brandon."
So...like, I stop DEAD in the middle of laughing with my sweetheart! Like...what the fuck??? And Brandon actually looks a bit surprised. So he's all, "This weekend? I thought you changed your mind? You said you might wanna wait until a better time to try dating."
And Stevie's like, "I know, but...what's really gonna change between now and later, right? Besides...it'll be cool to spend some real time together for a change." He probably doesn't think that I caught it...but Stevie's eyes TOTALLY glanced over at me when he said it! Big grin and all! That son of a BITCH!!! Then, he manages to work up this cute little blush, and he's like, "So...are we still on? I hope you haven't made any other 'plans' or anything."
So Brandon is like, "Nope. Not at all. Let's do it." And Stevie is seriously working this sweet little bashful blush thing to it's fullest! I'm watching him, and I could've SWORN that he was just faking it! JUST because he knows how much of a sucker Brandon is for a boyish little grin. Brandon smiles, and he's like, "I'm glad you changed your mind. I think...I think it'll be great."
Stevie goes, "You won't hold it against me if I'm all thumbs, will you. You still make me nervous when you get close to me." WHAT??? That's totally something *I* would say! What is he DOING??? Then he's like, "I just want to be awesome for you, Brandon. I really do."
And now Brandon's attention is ALL on Stevie, and he says, "You're already awesome. You've got nothing to worry about. Promise."
Stevie says, "You're just saying that because you think I'm sexy. Hehehe!"
Arrrgh! And Brandon is totally BUYING this bullshit! He's like, "Maaaaybe! Hehehe, but it doesn't mean it's not true." Which is almost enough to make me throw up all over his Salisbury steak!
And just as I think Stevie's gotten in his last shot, he shines me on with, "Sighhh...Billy, I don't know how you let this boy get away from you. Hehehe, lucky for me, huh?"
That's JUST how he said it! 'Lucky for ME, huh?'
I'm surprised that I could stomach my lunch at all. But I managed to sit right there at that table for the rest of the period. On the surface, everything stayed fun and flirty and sweet...but Stevie's eyes and mine met more than a few times. He was still smiling, but if this is his idea of a play for Brandon's heart, he has absolutely NO idea who he's playing with!
I might have made my fair share of mistakes, and EVERYTHING about the Bobby Jinette situation was WRONG! I know that! But this piece of shit better not get it into his head that shaking his cute little 'emo boy' ass around my boyfriend is going to matter much once Brandon remembers who the REAL owner of his heart is!
So go on...have your stupid little Saturday night date at the movies. I don't care. Just know this...he's dangerously close to declaring war at this point! And Brandon is worth fighting for!
I'm gonna go for now. I've got a strategy to think about. Maybe I'll ask Joanna for some more tips. Something tells me that I'm gonna need all the underhanded tricks she's got at her disposal. If for no other reason than to warn Stevie to know his place before he gets pushed out in front of a moving bus!
Um...accidentally, that is.
- General Billy (Readying the troops as we speak!)