On The Outside

Chapter 8


 The name was like acid on the tip of my tongue! The mere thought of that asshole getting ANY enjoyment out of pushing around a boy like Drew was bringing my blood to a boil. Getting hotter and hotter with every step. If Joey and Billy hadn't told me about it, I never would have known. Drew never would have mentioned it to me. Of that, I'm sure. His pride wouldn't let him. But now that I know who it was that stuffed Drew into the janitor's closet that morning...I was out for blood!

Wayne Scott...a little piece of trash that crawled out of bed every morning with the sole purpose of making life difficult for everyone else on the planet. He was one of those kids that got a big kick out of berating you in public, that wasn't happy until even your own friends were laughing at you. I've known him since the sixth grade, and regretted every last day of it. He was probably one of the biggest losers you could come across, but was unfortunately blessed with a sharp tongue and a wit that kept him swimming in friends no matter what. It was like they didn't know what a BASTARD he was. I never understood where his so-called 'popularity' came from, but something about his mean spirited antics kept him surrounded with an audience of close friends at all times, even the girls went nuts for him. It's not that he was all that good looking either. *I* wouldn't fuck him on a BET! So what was it that he was doing that just....kept him from living the horrible life an asshole like that DESERVES to live? Karma is taking a very long time catching up to him, that's for sure.

Still, he made his last mistake as far as I was concerned. Hurting Drew was the last straw, and even though we didn't have any classes together, I was sure to run into him sooner or later. Then...bad karma is going to get a well deserved 'push' in his direction. Believe me.

And there it stewed, that bitter feeling in the bottom of my stomach, for the next two classes. I could feel myself gritting my teeth, balling up my fists, having these shouting matches going on inside of my head as I prepared to give him a piece of my mind. Ohhhhh the things I was gonna say to him! Right before beating the living shit out of him for his friends to see! THEN he'd see what it feels like to be the little man in the equation. If only I could have gotten myself out of that seat and hunted him down in the middle of class. I didn't want to see him when I calmed down, I wanted him to show his face while I was still mad. RIGHT now!

Who are THEY to tease Drew??? They don't even KNOW him! They don't know anything ABOUT him! They just chose him to be the kid to pick on just because he decided to not hide who he is. Just because he wanted to be honest about what he felt in his heart. Well if that's any reason to hate somebody, then every single person in this CLASSROOM is in trouble, because we've ALL got something to hide! Arrrrgh! The burning inside of me was forcing me to rise to revolution so badly that I couldn't even concentrate. I'm sure people could see it on my face, but I didn't care. This was war.

I searched the halls for any glimpse of Wayne that I could find between classes, but caught no sight of him, unfortunately. I did, however see Drew standing by my locker though. His eyes met mine, and a smile spread across his face. As sweet a smile as he'd ever had before...but my anger hadn't quite gone away yet. And I found myself 'marching' over to get things straight.

"Hey, Ethan. I was just..."

"WHY didn't you tell me?" I said abruptly, cutting him off.

He looked a bit confused. "Tell you what?"

"You know what I'm talking about." I said, and he paused without saying a word. "About this MORNING?"

"I...I don't know what you're talking about.."

"The JANITOR'S closet, Drew??? Jesus...you could have said something!" My anger wasn't really his to bear, but it lashed out at him anyway.

I watched his soft hazel eyes turn themselves down towards the floor as a look of embarassment crept into his face. "Who told you about that?"

"Does it MATTER?"

"Ethan....look...I just...I didn't want you to worry about me. Ok? I'm fine." But I wasn't buying it this time.

"Drew...this has GOT to stop! This is SO wrong!"

"There was nothing you could do, Ethan. It's done, it's over. I missed half of my class, so what? I'm ok. They got their laugh, and it's over. What did it prove?"

"DON'T! Ok? Don't....'take up' for them! You're BETTER than this!"

"You see? This is why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd get all upset and belligerent and...." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "...believe me....I love you for it, dude. But...this isn't going to change anything. I'm ok, just be glad."

"And what happens when you're NOT ok, Drew? Huh? What happens when one of these morons takes it too far and you end up really getting hurt, or worse?" I said, almost pleading with him subconsciously to get him to open his eyes.

"I TOLD you...I'm ok! Don't go worrying about me. I can take care of myself."

"No...you CAN'T! That's what I'm trying to tell you..."

"I've been taking care of myself long before YOU came along, you know? Don't think that just because I found something special in you that you can go believing that you're gonna be my 'hero' everytime I skin my knee." He said, his attitude beginning to reflect mine with the 'offense' of me caring about him and his safety. Then, he softened a bit, and kept himself from geting angry. "Look....I'm sorry, ok? I'm...I'm happy. WE'RE happy. That's all that matters here."

I sighed out loud in frustration, and asked quietly, "Why? Why do you let them treat you like this?"

"I don't LET them do 'anything'. I mean...I try, but let's be honest, Ethan...I'm not the most popular person around here. Or have you forgotten that?"

"That's BULLSHIT, Drew! And you KNOW it! Things have got to change! People have got to learn to grow the fuck up! I should..."

"You should WHAT?" He said, looking me in the eye. And I suddenly realized that whatever the solution was...it was out of my grasp. "I mean, what exactly is your plan, dude? Are you gonna 'protect' me?"

"I can at least TRY..."

"Protect me from WHO, Ethan? From Wayne Scott? From the football team? The lacrosse team? The whole school? My dad? My neighborhood? The US President? The Catholic Church? Exactly what is your brilliant plan to protect me from all of the people who seem to have this compelling desie to want to hurtfully 'shame' me and you and everyone else like us? Huh?" He said, holding onto my shoulders to get it to sink in. "If you figure it out, please let me know. Because right now, I'm trying to deal with being hated by just about everybody around me except for you and my mom. And we're hardly enough of an army to take on every idiot who decides that they have a problem with who I fall in love with in the privacy of my own heart."

Confusion, sadness, desperation...it all enveloped me at once while the anger tried valiantly to burn through it all. But in the end...I had nothing to say. "Drew....I just...I wish I could..."

"I KNOW Ethan. I know. And that is what makes all of this soooo much easier to take." Even in the hallway, he took a second to brush his soft hand against my cheek. Just briefly, but with enough emotion to have left its emotional imprint on me. "I feel like I can take on the whole world when I'm with you, Ethan. And when I'm not, I have the strength to block them all out until we're together again. THAT'S what makes me happy. Not...Wayne Scott getting what he deserves. Someday, it'll come back and bite him on the ass. But for now, all I want to do is focus on the time I get to spend with the hottest boy in school. And think about what an EXTREMELY good kisser he is for a supposed virgin." He smiled with the last phrase, and despite the rage I had a few moments ago, Drew's smile was one of the most irresistable and contagious things on Earth. So I had to smile back at him.

"This isn't fair, you know?" I said. "You being all cute and sweet all the damn time. I'm SUPPOSED to be mad at you."

"Consider it energy saved until we get to have lunch at the park again." He giggled. And he took a hold of my arm for a second to push me towards my next class while he walked beside me. Saying in a low voice, "My own personal gladiator..." I giggled a bit myself at the notion.

"Shut up."

It's not that I had lost my desire to beat the snot out of Wayne Scott the very next time I saw him, but Drew's presence calmed me and excited me at the same time. To the point where I could hardly concentrate on anything else. It makes it nearly impossible to focus on ripping someone to shreds when you're so obviously in love.

The bell rang after school and I was finally 'set free' for the day. I began walking out of the front door to see if I could meet up with Drew before he got on his bus. He was still taking that early bus home to avoid the other kids and keep some dignity to carry him through the next day. After finding so much beauty and sweetness in his personality alone, it became even more unfathomable to me to understand why they would treat him this way. HOW they could treat him this way. I guess I was so wrapped up in being in love and kissing and touching him and talking on the phone....that I had forgotten just exactly how hard it is for him to get up every morning and come back to this forsaken place for more abuse. It gave him this sense of strength that made me love him even more, and I'd go to battle with any one of these people to see him smile again. I hope he knows that.

I walked out of the door to go see him, when Jermaine, Joey, and Billy stepped out from seemingly nowhere to 'catch' me. "I see you're still here. I guess that means that you didn't get suspended for the next three days." Billy said.

"Suspended for what?"

"For Wayne. We thought for sure that you were ready to take the fall and rip into him something awful." Joey added.

"Yeah, well don't discount that theory just yet. I'm not really sure that I won't." I looked out to the tree in front of the school, and standing there all by himself, was Drew. He was 50 feet away from me, and I could still feel the attraction to him as though he were in my arms. He was facing the other way, leaning against the tree, his backpack slung lazily over his slim shoulder...his curls blowing softly with the most gentle of breezes. It ws breathtaking, even from a distance.

"Listen, we were going to play some hoops in the park. You comin'?" Joey asked, and it brought my atention back to them.

It was as if my energy had drained with the mere thought of it, and the truth was, I didn't feel like playing basketball. I didn't feel like doing much of anything, actually. It was like I just wanted to lay back on my bed, or the couch, or right there on the grass...and just think about Drew. How insane is THAT? "Actually...um...I should probably get going home. Maybe next time." Then, I looked over at Jermaine, who had pretty much been silent the whole time. And I noticed him secretly roll his eyes at my rejection. Sighhhh...not that I MEANT it like that! I just...I don't know...I wasn't in the mood. You know? I guess he was still kinda upset about the little argument we had in the hallway the other day.

"C'mon you guys. Let's go." Jermaine said, and waved them off to go without so much as another word. They were really beginning to write me off as a friend these days, and I NEVER ever meant to hurt them. I wasn't looking to ignore my best friends or turn down a bunch of chances to hang out or make them feel like they were bothering me. I'm just...I'm...just....feeling something incredible right now. Something that's consuming my every thought, my every breath, my every dream. I'm exploring it as best as I can without pissing them off or totally restructuring my life...but it's kinda happening all by itself. I can't help feeling this way. I hope they understand. I WISH I culd tell them so they could understand. At least we'll have this weekend. I'll make it up to them. It'll be like old times. And if I balance things out just right, I'll be able to do both. It just takes a little time, that's all.

But for right now...I've got to talk to my angel before his bus carries him further away from me than 50 feet.

Moving closer to him, I felt my heart start to flutter, and my pulse race with a fever that only his smile could break. Just a few more seconds, and I'll be with him again. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he snapped his head around quickly like I had startled him. "Hey! What am I, the boogie man? Don't be so jumpy!" I smiled, and then I saw a nervous grin spread out on his face as he let out a sigh of relief.

He playfully hit me in the chest. "Don't DO that! I thought you were one of them!" He giggled. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I thought I'd wait for the bus with you, that's all. If you don't have any objections that is."

Drew smiled in the sexiest way at me, and I melted inside. "Nah...brings back memories, actually." There was a pause, and I saw him blush as he mumbled, "You know...that first day that you came out here?"

"The first day?"

"Yeah, you remember? When that...that guy tripped me and you helped me get all of my books and stuff? You waited with me. Right here by the tree."

"Yeah. I remember." I answered. "I wasn't about to let you go home mad at me. Besides, even then I think I was falling for you."

"Hehehe....yeah, me too. I mean...when I came in the classroom that day I thought you were beautiful. I was really scared to talk to you or even LOOK at you, for that matter." He gently pushed some of his curls out of his bright, candy-colored hazel eyes, and they glistened with the remaining rays of sunshine that touched them. "But...when you waited with me for the bus...when you actually took the time to show me that you cared...I kinda...well...I..." He bit his bottom lip to keep from giggling nervously, "...I kinda fell...you know...in love with you."

"Really?" I asked, not in disbelief so much, but just in awe of such a concept.

"Yeah." God, he was gorgeous when he was being sweet. "I'm sorry if that's a bit...you kow, weird....or whatever."

"No. No way." I smiled even wider, and felt a blush coming to my cheeks too. Drew looked away from me bashfully and it was so cute that I thought I'd burst from the sight of it. "That's all it took, huh?" I asked.

"I guess so. It hit me so quickly, I didn't know what to do with the feeling really. You just...you made me so happy that day. It was like a dream, and I was trying SOOO hard to not get wrapped up in it, but it caught me anyway. You should've SEEN me, Ethan. It was embarrassing!"


"YES! Embarassing! I got all choked up and emotional. I sat in the back of the bus, all by myself, and I kept CRYING! I mean LITERALLY crying, dude! I couldn't stop, tears just kept pouring down my cheeks everytime I thought about what you did, and people were looking at me like I was crazy. I must have looked like such a dork!" He grinned. "I cried on the bus, I cried on the walk home, I cried AT home...I was pretty pathetic."

"Yeah, I'LL say!" I laughed. And it got me a nice little elbow in the ribs for being a smartass.

"Well, despite my being a total 'sissy' about it...it felt really good. Just...knowing that someone out there had the power to make me do that. Make me feel that way. To be so overjoyed that I could shed tears over the feeling inside. No one's ever done that to me before, Ethan. No one." He looked down at the ground. "I...I hate to say it, but...I used to cry over you a lot, actually."

"And now?" I asked.

Looking back into my eyes, "Now? You only make me smile." A wicked grin broke out on his face. "And more often than not, very VERY horny!" He added.

I grinned back at him briefly before I took notice of something in the background. Just over his shoulder. I saw a very happy, very satisfied, Wayne Scott walking with two or three of his friends and laughing it up as though he had no conscience at all. My gaze locked in on him like a hawk, and my smile disappeared instantly as I readied myself to close in on him and give him the beating he had been BEGGING for from the second he decided to lay a hand on my boyfriend! Drew noticed the sudden change in me, and turned to see what I was looking at.

"I'll be right back..." I said, dropping my backpack at Drew's feet.

He put a hand on my chest to stop me. "Ethan...no. Just leave it alone."

I pushed him off of me, but he used what little weight he had to dig his heels in and try to push me back. "What are you doing?"

"Ethan...I want you to promise me that you're not going to do something stupid."

"Something STUPID??? What, are you kidding me?" I snapped. "You're just gonna let him get away with what he did to you?"

"Yes, I am. And so are YOU! I DON'T want you fighting him, I don't want you suspended, and I don't want things to get worse." Drew pleaded. "Please? If you run over there and pick a fight with him, things are just gonna come down on me a LOT harder from him and his friends. And then....they're gonna come down on you too."

"I don't care..."

"*I* care!" He shouted, and I looked down at him as he stopped pushing me back. "And neither one of us need that right now. Not when things are just getting to be fun."


"Listen...I need you to promise me you'll let it go. Ok?" I turned away, still gritting my teeth in anger. "Please, Ethan. Just promise me you won't go jumping into an even worse situation, ok? That was his best shot, and I'm STILL happy. We both are. Don't let him win by dragging us through anymore of his bullshit." I looked up again as Wayne walked further and further away in the distance. Not even noticing that we were there. I could still catch him if I started running now...and I'd still have enough energy to at least give him a fight that he'd never forget. But Drew's voice came back to block the thought of it. "Ethan?......Promise me?"

"I DON'T like this, Drew! I REALLY don't like this!" I said. "But...for YOUR sake I'm gonna let it go." I hated to let the words slip from my lips, but I haven't been able to resist any of Drew's requests before. Why start now? "But I SWEAR to you, Drew...if I ever catch him putting his hands on you again...."

"Then I'll just talk you out of it again." He grinned.

"You son of a..."

"That's my bus." He said happily, and hopped on as soon as the door opened. "Call you later?"

"You'd better." I know he must be having fun, enjoying the power he weilded over me with the mere sound of his voice. But I'd have to admit, I'm kinda enjoying it too.

Later on that night, I was trying to rush through some of my English homework so that I'd be able to drop it like a hot potato the second I heard the phone ring. That boy had me so tightly wrapped around his finger that I was ready to snap in to everytime my mind wandered over to that place in my heart that was made just for him and him alone. When the phone actually did ring, my energy level shot up to 150 percent and I rushed over to excitedly snatch the receiver out of its cradle and shout a 'hello'. "You seem awfully excited." Came the voice from the other end. It was Jermaine.

Maybe it was wrong to feel it inside, but I was honestly a bit disappointed. "Oh...Jermaine. What's up, dude?" I said, hoping that a feeling so...'terrible'...would go away and keep me from growing even further apart from my friends.

"And the excitement level DROPS considerably." He teased. "What were you waiting on? A call from Santa Claus?"

"Quiet, you! It's good to hear from you. You know that."

"Suuuure, it is." I heard him turn down his music a little bit, and then he said, "You know...Joey told me about this party coming up this weekend. Should be a lot of fun. Dancing and all. It seems Gil Parrish's dad is out of town on business, and as long as we agree to not make warzone out of the house, we can party all day long. Barbecue, swimming pool, the whole nine yards. What do ya say? Are you coming to be a part of the group again or what?"

Well, it DID sound like a pretty kick ass party. And Gil had one of those houses that looked like it was just BUILT for the maximum 'festivity' potential. Not to mention that it would at least show them that I cared. If I keep saying no to Jermaine and the guys, they'd know something was wrong. That....and they'd think I was trying to ditch them when I really wasn't. I guess I really did miss them when I thought about it. I'm not being fair, and I should at least spend some time with the old gang again. Now's as good a time as any. "Yeah, why not? Count me in."

I think it caught him by surprise. "Well, I'll be damned. Are you serious? Or are you just fuckin' with me here?"

"I SAID, I'm coming! Whaddya want from me!" I smiled.

"Alright. But NO take-backs! So you'd better be there and ready to have some fun." I could hear him smiling over the phone. Awwww, he really missed me.

"Listen...Jermaine...about the other day..." I started, but heard a tone to let me know that another call was coming through. So I told him, "Um...wait, don't go anywhere. I'll be right back, k? Hold on for a sec."

"Sure. No prob." And I clicked over to the other line.


"Hey, cutie." Drew grinned, and I felt my heart jump madly in my chest to the sound of it.

"Hey...." I was already breathless, already semi-hard, already smiling from ear to ear. And that was just from 'hello'. "...um...I'm on the other line. So, can you hold on for a second?"

"Oh...well I can call back a little later if you want."

"No...I don't want you to." I giggled. "Just wait here, and I'll be right back. Ok?"

"K..." I sighed and gave him a little kiss over the phone before clicking back over to Jermaine.

"Hey, Jermaine? I've gotta go. But, listen, I'll see you this weekend. It'll be fun."

"You're going already?"

"I've got another call."

"You're damn right, you've got another call. And it's ME! Tell 'em to wait!" He laughed. And, sure, he was fooling around, but I'm sure he meant some of it too. It didn't take much to read between the lines.

"No can do, bud. It's kinda important. But I'll talk to you soon. Cool?" There was silence for a second or two, and I repeated, "COOL?"

"Alright, alright. Go already. We'll talk later, I suppose." That comment was a bit more serious this time around, and before I could say goodbye, I heard a click. It was weird, but I was hoping that it wasn't a negative reaction to me not having time to talk. Sighh...if only I could tell him why. If only I had the guts to explain what beautiful thing had just entered my life. I know he would understand.

I clicked back over to Drew and my smile spread open so wide that I almost couldn't speak. "Ok, I'm back. What's up, hon?"

"Well....." He trailed off, and then I heard him giggle softly on his end of the phone.

"Hehehe, this can't be good." I said.

"I was just thinking about you all day today, that's all." He lowered his voice, and I could hear a sound like he was sliding down to sit on the floor in some quiet corner of the room. I guess all of this was to keep his dad from even hearing him on the phone at all. Then he sighed lovingly and continued, "I mean...like...ALL day. I can't stop thinking about you. Especially....um...the part about...you know."

"I think about you too, Drew." I said, my voice swelling up with such love that it excited me to even speak with its tone. But he obviously had something to say.

"I mean...this afternoon? In the park? I thought about us being...'alone'." He whispered. "I kinda like that part." He was nervous, his voice shaking, and I felt myself quaking inside.

"Yeah......." It was all I could say, and my mind went blank. I giggled a bit outloud. I couldn't explain why. I guess it was the only readable emotion that could come to the surface at that moment. Then, out of the blue, I said, "I love you, Drew." And he whimpered sweetly on the other end of the phone. It was such a cute, high pitched, boyish sound. It turned me to jelly just to hear a sample of it.

"Drew?" Came his dad's voice from the background. I guess he was busted.

"Dad, I'm on the phone."

"Is it your mom? Tell her I need to talk to her."

"It's NOT Mom. I'm talking to one of my friends, ok?"


"Somebody I know from school. Why?" Then Drew told me, "Hey, can you hold on for a second?" And I agreed. I heard him put the phone on the bed and a few muffled words between Drew and his dad before he literally pushed him out of the room with his hands and shut the door. "Ethan?"


"Dude...I'm SOOOO sorry! He's just being...himself."

But I just laughed. "It's ok. I've got a set of parents too. And believe me, they're just about as dysfunctional as yours."

There was a slight break in our conversation while Drew tried to think of the most tactful and delicate way of putting his next few words together. "So..........about us....'being alone'...?"

"You have a plan?" I asked, feeling this surge of childhood mischief wickedly pulse through me.

"Yeah, sorta." He answered. Needless to say, he had my full attention. And SPEAKING of 'full attention', I found myself having to switch the way I was sitting before I damaged something important. "My dad is going this Saturday to some special dinner for one of his co-workers. It's only gonna be from 5 o'clock until 8...but...I thought...if you wanted to take a shot at...um..."

"I'll BE there!" I said.

"You WILL?" Drew was brightening up as though he expected me to say no.

"Of COURSE I will! Don't be a dork." I laughed, and he smiled along with me.

"Ok. Sweet. Well, he's gotta leave around 4:30, probably. So if you wanna come over after that, it'd be cool. You know how to get here, right?"

"Ummm...I THINK so, but maybe you should write out some directions for me and give 'em to me tomorrow after class or something."

"Deal." He grinned bashfully.

"And then we can kiss all we want!" I said, teasing him.

"Hehehe...yeah. Definitely."

"Should I bring anything?"

"Just bring 'you'. You're entertainment enough for me." He said.

"And maybe a few cans of whipped cream?" I couldn't hold back from snickering as I heard Drew gasp on the other end of the line. I swear, his blush was strong enough to come right through the phone.

"E-THAN......! Geez!" He giggled in the cutest way, and I was a few chuckles from running over to his house and starting the festivities right now.

"Ah come on! I know you've thought about it."

"I wouldn't be a certified pervert if I didn't." He answered, playing along. But I think he was getting a bit too excited, and he couldn't really go bouncing around his dad without him knowing that something was up. So he cut it pretty short. Any more giggles coming from his room, and he'd get busted for sure. "Ok...so...Saturday?"

"Saturday it is." I said.

"I can't wait. I mean that." Drew adopted a more serious tone, and his breathless whispers sent chills down my spine. "I love you, Ethan. I love you soooo much."

"Yeah. I know." I said, and gave him a smooch over the phone before hanging up. Hehehe, how does anyone on the planet fall THIS deeply in love, and still function? It's insane to stay this high on life for this long!

So, the plan was set. I'll get up on Saturday, pretty myself as much as possible, go spend one of the most incredible days EVER with my boyfriend...and high tail it out of there before his dad comes home. Then I can come home, and Jermaine and the guys can still come by and pick me up for the party. This weekend is definitely going to be one for the 'greatest times of my life' file. At LAST! After 14 years....life is GOOD!

Saturday rolled around faster than I had expected it to. Even with me itching in anticipation every single moment of the day. Drew and I had made a big joke out of the whole 'sex' idea. I'd lick my lips lewdly at him when no one else was looking, he'd pinch my ass whenever he could catch me with my back turned...it was kinda like a game. But, the notion of me and Drew alone really didn't hit me until the last bell on Friday afternoon. That's when I began to wonder...'what if'? You know? What if we didn't just stop at kissing this time? What if....what if it led to 'other' things? Question after question entered my mind, over and over again. What was I thinking? What was HE thinking? How I would go about it? What if I want to and he doesn't? What if he wants to and I don't? How do I start? How do I know when it's over? I was confused, maybe even a little scared...but thrilled with this pleasant hysteria that seemed to overwhelm every part of me and make my whole existence one giant fantasy. 'What if' never felt so damn good!

When I woke up that next morning, fully refreshed and energetic despite my lack of sleep. Who wants to sleep when the REAL wet dream was going on in the real world? I showered without touching myself once. And believe me, on this particular morning, it wasn't easy. And I dried my hair, trying to make it look as perfect as it could possibly get. I dressed up in the same shirt that Drew told me 'looked hot', and took a good long look at myself in the mirror before leaving the house. This is it, Ethan. This is the happiest day of your life. With a wide grin, I rushed out to jump on the bus and rode it out to Drew's house. I spent the whole trip looking at the little map that he drew for me, and over the little block that supposedly represented his house, he put a little heart and a sign that said, 'come on in hot stuff!' outside of it. It was adorable! Thank God nobody else saw it, though. There'd be NO way for me to talk my way out of that one! When it was getting close to my stop, I folded the piece of paper up and put it in my inside jacket pocket. Right next to my heart, which by now was beating at a hundred miles an hour. My whole body was tingling with a fever that I have never known before. Even more overpowering than that first kiss, or that first day in the park, or...even more than that first day when he walked into that classroom and changed my life. My energy just kept building up to the point where I thought I would burst. Today is going to be awesome!

I got to his house finally, but saw a car still parked in the driveway. So I figured his dad hadn't left yet. It was only a quarter past 4, so I guess I was a bit early. All the better though, because I didn't want to miss a single minute with my sweatheart. I thought about staking out the house from accross the street until he left, but this was a small quiet neighborhood, and I'm sure it would look pretty freaky for me to be sitting out by a tree watching his home like some kind of serial killer. So I figured that I'd walk the block or something until the car was gone. It was one of those peaceful little places where every garage had a basketball hoop onthe garage, and some kind of amateur garden under the front window. I saw a few boys skateboard past me, they were maybe 12 or 13, and fucking HOT! Hehehe, I'm sure Drew had a fun time watching THEM skating by from time to time! Anyway, I strolled the block for a while, checking things out, and when I came back around the corner, I saw Drew's dad's car backing out of the driveway. He turned and drove right past me. I didn't get too much of a good look at him, but he was your average 'dad type' from the looks of it, and he seemed to have Drew's trademark brown curls, although his were much more 'in order' than his son's adorable little storm of locks. I'd only caught a quick glimpse of him, hoping that he wouldn't notice me, and everything appeared to be going to plan. He's gone. He's GONE! And in just a few minutes, I'm going to be in Drew's arms...alone.

Drew was already peeking out of the window when I walked up, and I saw his head disappear quickly from the curtains to run over and open the door with a smile. "Hey...." He said, trying to hide the frenzied emotions, going wild inside of him at that moment.

"Hi." I said, and he blushed almost instantly as he stepped aside to let me in.

"I've got some snacks and stuff if you're hungry. And I hooked the Playstation up in the living room because the tv is bigger..."

"Uh-huh..." I said, listening to every word, but not absorbing a single one of them. He kept moving around and talking and showing me little things here and there. But it only turned me on more. His eyes, his smile, his body, his hair, this house, this time, alone...burying my tongue in his mouth was all I could think about. Hehehe, but the little bastard was moving around too fast!

"...I've got videos and DVDs and stuff too. And my cd collection is in my room. You can borrow stuff if you want." He was talking really fast, and his voice would almost crack from time to time. He was really nervous, but trying to be a good host anyway. "And...um...my room...is over...over there." He said, and looked me in the eye for the first time snce I had stepped through the front door.

"Yeah?" I said, moving closer to him slowly.

"Yeah..." I reached out a hand to put on his hip, that delicate curve of his slim waist that felt like it was made JUST for me to hold him close to me, and I pulled him forward until his chst was pressd against mine and our lips were only inches apart. "I'm...I'm really glad you came over, Ethan." He whispered, his gaze and mine locked in a sensual union. I touched my nose to his, letting my warm breath cross his lips as he softly closed his eyes.

"Me too." I whispered back. And then...our lips touched. Gently at first, but once the passion was let loose between us, there was no stopping it. Drew craned his neck slightly upwards to kiss me deeply, and our tongues began to intertwine, conveying the love in our hearts for one another. The love that had been held back so often, in school, in public, in the park, through whispered messages over the phone...now it was free. We were alone, and our only crime would be to not express what we felt to it's fullest. I heard Drew moan softly as I snaked my arms around his hips to pull him even closer to me, and his hardness had grown to full length, rubbing agains mine as he pushed his hips forward to greet me. Our kissing became more urgent, with loud sucking noises being made with every move of our connected lips. The taste of his tongue was an elixir that made my head spin, and it made me grip him tighter, never wanting to let go. This was what we had been dreaming about all along. From day one. And we were both a part of fulfilling that dream for each other. We were complete, a whole. Two souls that dared to be apart for one minute longer. This is love.

His kiss lifted me off of my feet, and he was my only anchor to the world beneath me. My heart was beating so hard that I was sure that he could fel it through my chest. And as I let one of my hands rise up his tender backside to land my fingertips in the soft curls o his hair...I got that feeling again. That feeling that I wasn't close enough. That I wasn't doing enough, getting enough, giving enough. I wanted more. SO much more. And this erotic kissing and touching began to seem more like a playful frustration than the incredibly satisfying experience that it used to be when we started. I pushed into him, and he grunted a bit before pushing back, and our hands were everywhere. Our lips were mashed together, our stiff members were crushed against one another, our tongues were twisted together and wiggling nonstop...but, dammit...it still wasn't enough. And I broke the kiss to smile at Drew and lead him over to the couch, where I laid back and he got on top of me. We must have made out on that couch for an entire hour before we finally stopped. Twisting and turning, whimpering and wailing, humping and grinding. When we finally DID stop to take a breather, we were both so wired and disheveled that we had to laugh at ourselves. My entire teenage body felt like it ws on fire, every inch alive with this burning surge of electricity that wouldn't stop. How I was able to keep from exploding, I'll never know.

Despite the hot introduction to our little vacation from the rest of the world, Drew and I decided to just chill out and have fun for a while. We played around a bit and he showed me the house and stuff, talked openly for a while...it was actually really cool. And it was so amazing to be able to say 'I love you' to someone you care about whenever you feel the urge. Which for us, was every few minutes. It's weird, but you actually get an adrenaline rush from it, and it gets addictive after a while.

We went into his room where he showed me everything from posters to old photos. And believe me when I say that Drew has been hot his entire life! Especially when he had those shiny braces adding a gleam to that killer smile of his. Sighhhhh...I fell back on his bed with a feeling of bliss that made me dizzy. "This is great...you know that?" I said.

"Yeah, it is. I don't think I've ever..." A sound came from behind the house, and Drew stopped talking immediately. "SHHH!" He said, and he heard it again. "SHIT!!!!!" He ran over to the back door in a panic, but luckily it was just one of his neighbors putting their trashcan out in the alley. Drew sighed with relief. "Jesus...I thought that was my dad."

He literally had to sit down on the edge of the bed next to me in order to catch his breath. "Do...do you want me to go?" I asked. Please say 'no'! PLEASE say 'no'!

"No, it's ok." YES!!! "I just...my dad would freak out if he knew you were here."

"Oh..." I said.

"No, Ethan. It's not just you. It's anybody. He doesn't want me to have ANY boys in the house, not ever. He didn't neccessarily come right out and say it, but I know that's what he's thinking."

"He still has a problem with you being...um..."

"Gay. And yes he does." Drew seemed to be calming down a bit as he talked. "I think the only thing that's keeping him from totally disowning me and tossing me out into the street is his denial of it all." His face dropped for a moment, his lips pouting out a little. "I just don't think he'll ever get to the point where he'll understand. I mean...he 'tries', but...it's not the same. If I ever had to take back just ONE person that I told about being gay...it'd be him."

My arm reached out to softly rub up and down his back, and I wanted so badly to make it right. To protect his feelings and just shelter him from anything that could ever keep him from being 100% sunshine all day, everyday. But he was right in what he said before. I couldn't. There's no way. There's always gonna be someone who doesn't get it and doesn't WANT to. I doubt that will ever change. The one thing I can do, however, is be here. Drew's never had that in his life before, and it's my responsibility to be that missing link in his happiness. A duty I gracefully accept wholeheartedly. "Come here." I said.

Drew looked back at me, with me laying on his bed and him sitting next to me. "It's ok, Ethan. I'll be fine. I'm just getting weird again."

"No, seriously. Come here." I held out my arms, and he hesitated for a quick second before leaning forward to kiss my lips softly before putting his head on my chest and laying down next to me. He wrapped both of his arms around me and I held him close as I petted his hair and told him that it wuld be alright. That I loved him, and I cared about him, and that he was worth every ounce of love that I could provide him and more. We just stayed like that for a few minutes, in silence, while I warmed him in my embrace, letting his head rise and fall softly with my every breath. And soon, he looked me in the eyes, his loving stare seeping into my very soul, and we began to kiss again. We lay there side by side and making out as though we depended on the other's kiss for oxygen, and it was then, that my body got a mind of its own.

I wondered if it was right. I wondered if I was ready, if HE was ready. I didn't know how to proceed or IF to proceed or if my next action would cost me the comfort and love that meant so much to me. But, as I said, my body had a mind of its own. I felt our kissing become more and more passionate, reaching that level of desperation that only two virgins can know, and yet are so afraid to crossover into that next world. That world that would sweep us up and swallow us whole forever. It was then that my hand began to travel downwards. Tracing the subtle boyish curves of Drew's young firm body as my fingers slid down his side. And they stopped right under his waistline, hovering there timidly while our kissing became more of a sport than an expression. Do I dare go further? I was breathless, and terrified of what I was feeling. But the emotion pushed forward anyway, and it was then that my hand slowly moved down across the front of his pants, gently rubbing the hard tent as Drew whimpered quietly in my mouth. His kiss pressed on with an even tighter liplock, and I didn't feel him getting uncomfortable with what I was doing. So I began to rub him harder, and he pushed himself against the palm of my hand, now moaning a bit louder at the immense pleasure he was feeling. Then...things went further...

My fingers got more curious, and with a trembling in my chest, and fear in my heart, I felt my fingers secretly snap open the button to Drew's pants. Drew gasped, and he broke the kiss. I was worried that maybe I had done too much, gone too far, too fast. I turned to look him in the eye, and he stared back at me in silence. I couldn't read the emotion on his face. It almost resembled confusion. An inner conflict of some sort. But he didn't resist. Never once did he resist.

My fingers continued their slow exploration, and I very cautiously lowered his zipper. Making sure that he had every opportunity to stop me if he wanted to. But he didn't. Instead, he averted his gaze down to where my hand was, and watched as my administrations worked to free him from his confines. I looked down to see what I was doing, and we both watched as the zipper opened up all the way, and Drew's pants lay open, his tented boxers sticking straight up in plain sight. I held my breath as I saw Drew wiggle his butt a bit, and raise up to lower his pants slowly to his thighs, then his knees, and then down to his ankles...where he kcked them off and let them fall to the floor. His eyes moved back up to see me briefly, before our gaze went back down to his boxers. My heart was beating so hard and fast that it was difficult to breathe, but I moved further still. And when Drew saw my hand reach out again, he gasped deeply for air. Then...with one flick of the snap on the front of his cotton boxers...

The material fell away from the tent, and left his pole standing. It was absolutely gorgeous! I was taken aback by the look of it, standing at about 6 inches, maybe a little less. And pulsing, throbbing with every beat of his heart. I could see a few wisps of light brown fuzz coming up through the opening at the base of the shaft, and I reached out to let my fingers twirl them around a bit. Then, I reached for his member, and finally closed my fingers around it. It was almost hot to the touch, and the second I made contact, it jumped. It swelled and tightened in my gentle grip, and Drew moaned outloud in my ear, rolling closer to me to bury his face in my neck while I held it. It was full of so much heat. So much life. Just touching it was enough to almost make me ose it right then and there.

I felt Drew's lips on my neck as I gave it a few delicate strokes. I had never held anyone elses penis before. I guess the experience was a bit scary, because I didn't want to hurt him. I just...I just gave it a few squeezes and a few gentle tugs until I got used to it. Drew's arms wrapped themselves around my neck, and he began to suck on it as I got more acquainted with that all important part of him. His lips on my neck was turning me on so much that my eyes rolled back. He pushed his hips in and out of my hand, the silky smooth flesh of his warm rod sliding in and out of my fist. I could feel a warm wetness on my palm as some of his fluids leaked out from the tip. It was then that I let him go...using a hand to push back on his shoulder to roll him onto his back. I kissed him on the lips, and then slid down to the foot of the bed, taking his boxers by the waistband and sliding them down with me. I watched them travel down his smooth legs and the rest of his beautiful body came into view. He lifted one leg, and then the other as I pulled the boxers off of his feet, and I was able to see his balls and a slight glimpse of his ass when he did. I looked him in the eye, neither one of us believing that this was happening, neither one of us thinking that it would go this far. Not now, not ever. But here we were...and we weren't about to stop now.

Drew's eyes were half closed as he gazed back at me, and my mouthwatered for what I was about to do. This was my first taste of the flesh, and I couldn't wait a moment longer. I moved up the bed between Drew's thighs, and he spread his legs even wider than they already were to give me complete access. He was totally open, and he had a slight bend in the knees which I slipped my shoulders underneath him. Then, I gave each one of his nuggets a gentle kiss, making him shiver and whimper up above me. And without much delay, I licked a long trail up to the tip of his shaft, and allowed about half of it to enter my mouth in one long suck before taking it out again. Drew's head fell back to the mattress, and I felt his whole body quake. I looked at it as it shined with a thin layer of my saliva, and took notice of the taste. A subtle flavor that had an additional enchantment to it than the rest of his body had. A smooth fleshy texture. And my God was it warm! I loved it. I had to have another taste. So I leaned forward and sucked it in again, this time going a bit further, and just held it there while I sucked at it tenderly. I let my tongue move around it a bit, feeling it's weight, it's length, touching it, tasting it. I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe this is our time to join the ranks of the sexually experienced. I let my fingers tickle through his soft pubes again. He had a little less than most do at age 14, but it was still an alluring patch. It was cute just like the rest of him. I felt his balls with my other hand, and rolled them around ever so gently while I began to suck up and down again. I think I might have accidently knicked him with my back teeth a few times, because I could feel him twitch a little here and there. But he didn't stop me. He just moved his hands down to my shoulders as I bobbed sensually on his inches, letting my hands now roam up under his tshirt. Drew's legs opened even wider, naked from the waist down except for his socks, and as my hands pushed his shirt up and ran lightly over his nipples, he went wild. His stomach was shivering, his legs were spasming, and if he was breathing any harder, he'd pass out for sure.

Then I heard him sob a little bit, and he bit his bottom lip while closing his eyes as tightly as he could. Then he said, "Ethan.....MMMMMM....wait, wait...I'm about shoot." He said. I didn't want to stop, I sucked on it a bit more, wondering how much more of a sexual taste I can get out of him before letting the meat slip from between my lips. But as I felt it expanding and his hips quaking with the early tremors of climax, I knew that I'd either have to stop, or get a mouthfull. I wasn't sure that I was quite ready for that yet. The last thing I wanted to do was get sick or start spitting stuff out and totally ruin the moment for the both of us. So I took one last long suck, pulling all of him into my mouth at once until his pubes tickled my upper lip...and then reverse sucked my way back up to the tip and let it pop out of my mouth. I then took a few wet strokes of his hardness with my hand until he tensed up and simply exploded in orgasmic bliss. Stream after stream of thick ropes of cum shot out of him and landed up on his chest and neck while his body squirmed frantically. Oh my God....the whimpering noises he were making were like NONE I've ever heard him make before! They were SOOOO sexy! I was enthralled with the sound of it, and it was the cutest most incredible most lustful sound that had ever escaped his lips! As I stroked him a bit more, I lowered my face to kiss the insides of his thighs, his shaft, and just underneath his balls. He literally had to pull me away from him, it felt so good.

"Oh...oh wow...oh shit..." Drew said between huffs and puffs. "GOD I LOVE YOU!" He blurted out, and I laughed.

"I take it that means it was ok?" I giggled.

He answered by kissig me full on the lips...hard. And we spent the next few minutes making out like madmen. I broke the kiss and made sure to get up on one elbow to look at the clock. We had about a half hour left, maybe a little more. Just so long as I didn't lose track of time. He saw me looking at the time and said, "We've still got some more time..." He gave me a passionate look, and then lowered his eyes down to where I was about to burst. He hesitated, making sure that my eyes didn't tell him to stop. And then he silently began working on my button and zipper much the same way that I had done to him. The funny thing is, I never really thought about getting...you know...my turn. I was so turned on by sucking Drew, that I doubt I even NEEDED him to return the favor at this point. Still, as I felt my pants open up and him grab a tender hold of me through my boxers, I wasn't about to stop him.

I let my pants and underwear fall to the floor, and lay there the same way that he was. Tshirt, white socks, and nothing else. He put his head on my stomach, and just felt me all over, holding it, tugging it, bending it slightly to and fro. He experimented with the feel of it while I wiggled helplessly at the sensation of his soft boyish hands on me. "You're beautiful, Ethan." He whispered. "I knew you'd be beautiful." Then his head lowered down and he took me into his mouth. Curiousity was the feeling of the first suck, but then his love took over and he took me almost all the way to the base. I felt my length suddenly become enveloped with this steamy wet environment, my body became weightless, and I felt my stomach tighten up all on its own. It was a MIRACULOUS feeling! I was breathing in short gasps, trying hard to keep my composure and be 'cool' about the whole thing. But inside, I wanted to scream! I gripped tightly onto the sheets, worried that I was gonna fall off the bed. My world had become THAT distorted.

Drew's hands wandered over my thighs and his suction increased. Now I was moaning beyond control, and my body couldn't seem to hold still. His tongue was sliding back and forth, back and forth, with every bob of his head. And I felt every tastebud as it dragged its way across the sensitive head of my inches. I didn't last long. I COULDN'T last long! He was sucking me and sucking me, and I wanted it to go on forever, but I wasn't going to be able to hold back. Should I tell him? Of COURSE I should tell him! I have to. Maybe I can hold out just a little bit longer. I tried, I held my breath, I tried to think of something else, I tried not to look at Drew's silken curls...but when I heard the loud slurping noise of Drew's pouty lips wrapped tightly around my shaft, I couldn't stop myself from going over the edge.

"Ok....ok I'm ready! I can't hold it..." I said, and he let me slip from his mouth, my body already missing the heat of his lips. Then he stroked me to orgasm the same way. My eyes shut so tightly that I saw stars, and I erupted with what must have been the greatest orgasm in all of world history! I think I actually lost a few minutes there until Drew came up to kiss me on the lips and let me know that he loved me.

By then, we only had another fifteen to twenty minutes left before he could sneak me out safely. So we didn't get to lay there for much longer. Even though I enjoyed the feeling of being bare from the waist down and hugging my naked body next to him. I even enjoyed the feeling of the fabric of his socks as he rubbeed them up and down my legs. We remained like that as long as we could, and even entertained the thought of trying it again once we both found ourselves getting extremely hard a second time. But decided that it was too much of a risk. So we touched each other a bit more and Drew said he'd get us a towel to clean off with. I watched him as he got up out of the bed and walked over to the linen closet across the hall from his room. I stared directly at his ass, and my hardness began jumping and twitching even more when I saw it. WOW! It was the prettiest little ass I had ever laid eyes on. Bubbled cheeks that were pert and tight, yet rounded slightly at the bottom. I was glued to them. It looked like an adorable little upside down heart. The spongy globes had the most playful little bounce to them when he walked, and the roundness of them was driving me crazy! It truly made me appreciate that little swing in the way he walked, the one that I used to think was slightly effeminate. Mmmmm...he was 'put together' awfully well.

"Are you looking at my ass?" He giggled.

"Yeah? So?" I said back as he threw me a towel.

"Nothing. Just checking." He hopped in the bed next to me while I wiped myself off a bit, and bounced a little closer to me to kiss me on the cheek. "I love you. You're never gonna get rid of me now. You know that right?"

"Promise?" I smiled.

"Promise." And we shared one more playful kiss or two before I had to get dressed and get out of there. Drew hugged me at the door, with a special twinkle in his eyes, and I made sure to lower my hands down to squeeze his ass hard. He jumped, "Woo hoo! Hey now! Don't get fresh!" He laughed.

"I couldn't help it."

"You don't have to. Not anymore." He gave me an angelic peck on the lips and I turned to walk away, watching as Drew blew me a kiss before closing the door behind me. That was it! That was my moment! OMIGOD......I JUST HAD....*SEX*!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I felt like running! NO...no...like JUMPING!!! No wait....more like...FLYING or something!!! I'm in LOVE! I've got the most beautiful boy in the world as my boyfriend!!! And I just graduated from Virgin University!!!

I had to get off of these streets before I started bursting out in an uncontrollable fit of giggles or screaming at the top of my lungs about what just happened. Besides, I've gotta get home, shower, and get ready for a party! Wow....I love you Drew!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

I won't EVER be happier than I am right now! I found my shining star in life, and it won't ever fade. Not as long as I'm in love.

Not as long as I'm in love....