My breathing was so short. My heart beating so fast. My face was hot with a massive blush that I couldn't control. I tried to keep from repeatedly taking peeks at Asa and Chandler as they milled around together on the set, preparing for the moment that they were called to film.
I knew what they had been up to. I had seen it with my own two eyes. Greyson had too. An aggressive and passionate lovemaking session had just taken place not more than ten minutes ago...with the two of them locked in a mad embrace, humping and gasping and clutching at one another as they pushed themselves over the edge and came crashing down with a climax that left them both tingling long afterward. I swear...I can see the glistening aura of it from here.
Every time I saw Chandler stumble slightly or miss a step, I wondered if it was because he was still a little raw back there from Asa's ruthless pounding. And right after that...I wondered if he likedthe rawness it left behind.
My every thought was haunted by the idea of them together on the weekends when no one was waiting on them. Those two boys...all alone. Making love over and over and over again, whenever they felt the urge. No interruptions. No hurried deadlines to get back to set. No need to stifle a single moan or staggered breath. Just privacy...and space...and an indulgence in sexual pleasures that could be greatly enjoyed if only the rest of the world could be shut out for just a FEW hours a day. Just a few.
I watched Chandler talk to one of the directors, getting the feeling and the motivation right for the next scene. But all I could think about was him laying on his back...his feet in the air, knees bent...body curled up and open...just trying to hold on as his lover raced to a satisfying release. Sucking on the wetness of his wriggling tongue as he tried to keep from crying out loud. Every nerve ending in his tight inner walls alive with an electric pulse that spasmed and quaked with every sensual stroke that pushed through them. Only to touch and poke and prod that most tender of spots within...the spot that makes your body go limp, and get lost in the sea of stars that appear before your very eyes. God...I am SO horny right now!
I blinked a few times and forced myself to look away, hoping to get my mind out of the gutter for a few moments and throw my focus elsewhere. But it only took a few wasted seconds and a naughty thought before I was drawn to Chandler all over again. Can he still feel it? That push and pull? The sensation of a long, hard, lubricated, shaft as it slid into him repeatedly? Are his insides still quivering? Still pulsating from the 'stretch' of it? Can he still taste Asa's tongue? I just bet if I was close enough, I could still smell the 'sex' on him. I'll just bet! UGH! It was driving me CRAZY to imagine it! I swear, I'm just...I'm losing my mind here!
I sat down at one of the lunch tables and just sort of stared off into space as I tried to get myself back on track. My brain was completely consumed by the many instant replays of pornographic delight that I had running through it. I need to think about my lines. I need to concentrate on my character. Come on, Evan...get your game face on before you screw everything up and the director ends up losing faith in your ability to handle more work. That would be a BAD thing.
My character. Right. Concentrate.
Ok, so...I'm in the camp with the others, and there are walkers surrounding the compound. Asa's character is trying to keep everybody safe by taking on a leadership role and keeping us together. Maintaining some sort of order. But some of us keep wandering off on our own. Me being notorious for it. Ok. Got it. And I see where they made a few more changes...here, here, annnnnnd...here. Alright. And we have a dining hall scene...we probably won't shoot that until tomorrow...
I wanted to study. I really did. But...then I'd think about how amazing it must have been for Asa to slowly grind the entirety of his length into the warm, resisting, muscle of his favorite boy. To feel the moistened tunnel grip him from all sides, constricting and releasing around his sensitive shaft...every seductive movement controlled by the intense emotion that they were sharing at that very moment. To be able to feel the vibration of Chandler's deepening moans against his lips as he kissed him hungrily...both boys holding each other tight. Seeing Chandler's toes wiggle in his socks over Asa's shoulders as he worked up a hormone flooded sheen of perspiration. Those circles. Erotic circles. With Asa's slender hips. Grinding himself deeper into Chandler's snug little hole with every thrust. The feeling of one boy's smooth thighs rubbing against the flawless, heated, flesh of another. I'll bet the sheets are still damp from their activities. I wish I could taste them. Or at least spread out and enjoy the moisture of it on my skin.
This is bad. I'm not going to be able to concentrate on this at ALL today, am I?
I honestly began to think of places to go to maybe have a quick 'solo session' of my own so I could at least relieve some of this frustrating sexual pressure and get myself back to a point where I could think straight again. I wish I was famous enough to get a trailer of my own. Then I could lock myself in there with a box of tissue and enough dirty thoughts to blow the roof off of the damn thing like a surprise geyser!
I thought about maybe going to the shower facilities...but there are too many extras in zombie make up going in and out of there for me to get away with it. Even if I'm quick about it. The thing about jacking off in a public shower...even if they don't actually catch you in the act...you're still left with a throbbing boner that can be seen for miles around. And there's no subtle way to angle your manhood towards the wall in the showers. There just isn't. Everybody knows what you're doing, and they know why.
Shit...maybe, if I'm really REALLY quick about it...I can just sneak off into the woods, find a good tree without any rabid squirrels running around it, and...
"BOO!!!" The sudden, jarring, noise scared the HELL out of me!!! Maybe I was concentrating a lot harder on this than I thought I was. I saw Asa coming over to sit next to me. RIGHT next to me. To the point where our legs and shoulders were touching. He had his sleeves rolled up, his bare forearm touching mine. I got an instant erection from the idea that this was the bare flesh that was connected to Chandler's bare flesh just moments ago. The effect made me swoon with a gentle bout of dizziness. "All of these actors on set in the most grotesque of zombie get-ups, and you're scare of lil' ol me?" He smiled. Are eye really supposed to be that BLUE??? Just looking at them up close, it made my stomach shrink...
"I think...I was just daydreaming, I guess." I said. I kept my script in my lap, hoping to hide whatever decided to pop up from the joyfully obscene thoughts traveling through my young mind.
"Well, that's good. Daydreaming is good." He grinned. Then he lightly butted me with his leg, and said, "You feeling good?" I nodded nervously. "Great. Because I feel fantastic!" Asa leaned back and put his hands behind his head, closing his eyes for a moment as he stretched...the bottom of his shirt creeping up just enough to reveal the bottom half of his belly button. I wondered...if I were brave enough to lean over and lick the flat surface of his belly...would I still taste the salty/sweet traces of Chandlers cum splashes on my tongue.
With a heavy swallow, I tried to ignore it. Even when Asa casually brought his right arm down over my shoulder and let it linger there.
"You know...and don't tell anybody I told you this...but I think Chandler's talking to the director to get you in the next rewritten scene. I think the director is going for it too." Asa said. Softly. Not a whisper, but low enough where his deep accented voice had to be moaned softly into my ear. I could feel the warmth of his breath on me. Had he been a half inch closer, his moving lips would have grazed my ear for sure.
"The next what? But...I don't know that scene. Nobody told me ahead of time what I'd have to..."
"Shhhh...don't sweat it. It won't be anything overly complicated. Just a few lines, and a few cues between the two of you. That's it. Nothing Shakespearean." He gave my slim shoulders a squeeze. "You'll do great. And once you pull this off, it'll put you that much further into the spotlight. I saw the scene, it's a piece of cake. Chandler thinks you would be good for it, and I agreed."
"He said that?" I asked, pushing the script I had in my lap down even further.
"You still surprised? I told you...he likes you." Asa said. "I like you too." Then, when I got the courage to turn my head slightly and stare into the neon blue glamour of his eyes...I noticed that they weren't really focused on me. They were looking at the script in my lap. In fact, he had to quickly look back up at me to keep me from recognizing his obvious stare. "I hope I'm not breaking your concentration, Evan..."
"Huh?" Now beginning to tremble, and using all of my brain power to keep him from feeling it up against him, I said, "Oh! No. I was...looking over some of my lines again, that's all. I memorized them, but I wanted them to feel natural, you know?"
"I do. I understand completely." He said, now gazing right into the very heart of me. What did I do? Did I give myself away somehow? I'm sure little closeted gay boys like me stare at Asa all the time. Especially in close proximity like this. Close enough for actual physical contact to be made. Then he said, "You know, sometimes Chandler and I get together and practice a little bit. You know...not around everybody else here or anything. We usually try to go a bit further off set. You know...'elsewhere'." My pulse began to race. My heartbeat began to pound and throb in my ears, making it hard to even hear Asa's voice as I fought for breath. "There are a couple of trailers on the outskirts that are mostly just used for storage and extra equipment, ya know? Mostly just a place for the techs to store extra equipment to use in case of an emergency, or if a few shots aren't working out for the show and they need to improvise..." His cheek was almost touching mine. His one-armed hug felt as though it was pulling me in even closer. My hardness began to swell to full length, and I couldn't concentrate on anything other than Asa's smoooooooth voice as he practically hypnotized me with the very suggestion of the trailers in the woods. "...If you ever need to brush up on a few of your sides away from all the noise and commotion, I can show you where they're at." Asa's fingers slowly reached up to lightly thread themselves through my hair. "I think me and Chandler might just pop over there after we all break for lunch. You're more than welcome to join, if you like. The more the merrier. I'm sure Chandler won't complain."
I'd like to say that I was confused about what Asa was offering, or what might happen if we all went on lunch together and they led me back out to that trailer to be 'alone'...but I wasn't. I knew. And I wanted it! Is that bad? I mean...I found Greyson, strictly by accident, and he turned out to be everything that I could ever want in a boyfriend! I mean, yeah, we had sex and it was INSANE! But Greyson was more than that. He was sweetness and giggles and soft spontaneous kisses by the lake. He was the kind of boy to bring me lunch on the set just because he was thinking about me. The kind of boy who would playfully shout 'I love you too, Evan' and shut the door before giving me a chance to react. Was I really willing to give that up? It's something that I really wanted to think about, because we're talking a possible THREESOME here! Right now! TODAY! NO waiting! With boys that I had been dreaming about for ages. I could have that right now, today...and I'd regret it the rest of my life if I said no.
The answer seems obvious. Both my big head and my little head were telling me that they were going to kick my ASS if I didn't jump on an opportunity like this while I had the chance! The decision seemed so 'logical' where my brain and my hormones were involved.
Why did everything get so horrendously complicated when I let my heart get involved?
All I could think about was how badly Greyson would be hurt if he even knew that I was considering this right now. If he were to suddenly show up and see Asa with his arm around me, talking softly in my ear. What would Greyson think of me if he were to somehow catch me going into that same trailer with two other boys...knowing damn well what went on in their earlier today. He'd be totally heartbroken. He'd never speak to me again.
I don't think I could stand it if he never spoke to me again...
My heart was putting up its best defenses, but as far as my brain and my boner were concerned...the decision had already been made for me. I think my heart was having a hard time getting them to listen.
I gently leaned away from Asa, trying to make my escape from his intimate embrace as subtle as I could. "Umm...I don't know. I mean...thanks and all. It sounds cool. but I'm probably gonna stick around the set, with the fan and the cold bottled water and stuff. You know...comfortable."
"I understand. But the second you change your mind, just let one of us know. Trust me, you couldn't be more comfortable than you would be hanging with us. We definitely know how to make work 'fun'." He said with a wink.
"Ok. I...I ummm...yeah. Ok." I stumbled for words, and caught him looking down at my lap again. Just briefly, but I saw him.
"Is this the rewrite from this morning?" He asked out of the blue. And then...much to my horror, he reached for it! "You mind if I take a look at it?"
I tightened my grip on it just as his fingers gripped the corner of the script. My breath got caught in my throat, and my knees instantly crashed together as I felt my hardness suddenly throb as if it were trying to grow another inch or two. "NO!!! Ahem...I mean...I still wanna go over some stuff..."
"It's ok, I'll only take a peek..." He said, giving it a little tug.
I tugged back, "There's nothing to peek at. Really. Heh...say, is that guy waving to you? I think you're wanted on set..."
"Hehehe, what are you doing?" Asa grinned, and I had every intention of holding onto that damn script until it ripped in HALF if necessary! But he got all 'sneaky' on me! Instead of just pulling on the corner, Asa's long fingers began to reach further underneath the stack of papers! He was smiling at me as he did, and I could feel those fingers worming their way between the script and my lap. Wiggling on top of my thigh. Then closer to my inner thigh. Then up. He was almost 'touching' it when I panicked and let it go!
Short of breath, and unable to come up with any other plan of action, I just folded my arms and leaned forward to hide the obvious bulge between my legs. I tried to keep a calm face, but I could tell that I was blushing furiously. I could feel the HEAT of it, radiating off of me in waves.
Asa just looked at me with a tilted grin. And then he opened the script to casually thumb through it. He didn't say anything. Neither did I. I could hear the turning of every crisp page as he gradually went through it. He was only pretending to read it. I could tell. I wasn't sure what else to do, so I made an attempt to cross my legs. WHY I thought that wouldn't look awkward and dumb...I'll never know. But I was sort of running on auto-pilot at the time. Give me a break.
Nothing makes an erection ache more than trying to cross your legs. There's nothing comfortable about it. And when you add in the fact that I was seriously mashing my testes together at the same time...it makes for a very 'achey' situation. But I had them crossed now. I can't just uncross them. Not for another minute or so. It'll look like I'm fidgeting. Asa will definitely know what's going on down there if I start fidgeting. If he didn't know already, that is.
"Do I make you nervous?" Asa asked. He raised an eyebrow at me, and leaned a little closer. "I don't want to make you nervous, Evan. It wouldn't be so bad if we got to know each other better. I know I keep bringing it up, but you should really come out and have fun with us this weekend. There'll be no more 'tremblies' after that. Guaranteed." Yeah...I'll bet.
Thankfully, my mom came over and saved me from even having to reject that offer. She had her sunglasses on and was hanging up her cell phone after talking to a good photographer about me taking some more headshots in the near future. I uncrossed my legs once I saw Asa distracted by her shadow, and shifted myself in such a way where I could hide my excitement until it went away.
Which was AWESOME! Go, Mom!
As long as she doesn't ask me to stand up for anything, I'll be...
"Honey, stand up for me. Just for a second."
God dammit, Mom!!!
"Huh?!?! WHY???" I said. And pretty loud, I might add. Getting a strange look from both her and Asa.
"I just wanted to see how tall you've gotten. You're sprouting up so fast, and the photographer just wanted a vague idea of how tall you are so he can have the whole set up in motion when we go in." She said.
"I didn't grow at all. Not an inch." I told her.
"Evan...?" She said. "It's been at least eight months since your last headshots were taken. Your hair's gotten longer. I'm sure..."
"So, Mom...have you met Asa? This is Asa!" I said, quickly cutting her off.
With a smile, Asa stood up and reached out to shake her hand. Thank God! Dick, go down! Dick, go down! Dick, go DOWN!!!
"Hello, Mrs. Elliott. Pleased to meet you." He smiled, and my mom seemed a little smitten at first glance.
"Oooh, well aren't you charming?" She said, a girlish little giggle escaping her lips. Ok...that was weird. "I loved you in 'The Boy In The Striped Pajamas'. You were great."
Asa said, "I was a little too young to aspire to be great at the time, I think. But it means a lot to hear you liked it. Thank you."
I was trying to get my boner to behave, and it just wouldn't!
My mom then asked, "Is this one of your friends from the get together last night, Evan?"
Asa was puzzled. "Get together?"
"Yes. With the other younger actors from the set? At the hotel?" She said. Oh God...what was she doing to me?
Asa looked over at me, and his blue eyes zeroed in on me, narrowing ever so slightly as his smile got wider. "No, actually. I wasn't able to make it. I was talking to some of my friends back home. You know, UK time difference and all."
"Oh, I understand. It must have been one heck of a good time. Evan didn't even want to leave." My Mom chuckled, probably thinking that every word she said was harmless and sweet. But I could already see Asa's wheels turning. And with him actually seeing me and Greyson spending time together the way we were, I'm sure he already had some ideas rolling around about what happened. I did lie about it being an 'actor gathering', after all.
It wasn't until Asa had given me another quick wink that I realized that my little game of hide and seek was rapidly coming to an end. He turned to my mom and said, "I had to dash on you, Mrs. Elliott, but I've got something to tend to. It was very cool to meet you, though. Evan is brilliant. He's going to be something special around here."
With that, Asa made a quick getaway, and...I don't know. I just had this really weird feeling about it. Something didn't sit right. I felt like the skies were getting dark, and a storm cloud was rolling in.
My mom made me stand up for her so she could look me over. I grunted and groaned from having her paw all over me as if she was seeing me for the first time in her life...but I was thankful that she was preoccupied with looking me over instead of thinking about what happened between me and Greyson last night.
"Yes. I'd certainly say that you shot up another two, maybe two and a half, inches. You're getting big on me, kid." She said.
It was then that I noticed Asa walking over to Chandler in the distance. He smiled at him as he beckoned for Chandler to come closer. Then...Asa's eyes looked around and they met mine briefly before I turned away. What was he telling him? What was going on?
"What are you now? About 5'6"? 5'7", maybe?" My mom asked. What the hell were those two whispering about? Is it about ME? Please don't let it be about me! What am I going to do if it's about ME??? "Evan?"
"Wha...?" I said. "Oh...umm...heck, I don't know, Mom. I don't feel any taller." I said just enough to keep her happy, but I couldn't help but to be distracted by Asa and Chandler and their little 'conversation' over there where I couldn't hear them.
"We can go shopping this weekend. Some bright Summer colors. Something to bring out the beauty of your eyes. Oh, you're going to be so handsome!"
"Uh huh...handsome..." I tried to gauge what kind of vibe those two had while talking, but it was hard to see much from here.
Then...BOTH boys looked over in my direction, and they caught me spying on them!
I jerked my eyes away and forced my gaze down into the dirt so fast that it made my head spin. But while I tried to keep my composure as best as I could, I could hear the faint snickers of both boys as they started to devise some sort of plan to use against me. I know they were, because when I peeked back up...they were still watching me.
As hot as it made me to think of them being together...I didn't want to be tempted away from my Greyson. Not my sweetheart. I mean, I LOVED watching them do all the sexy things that I've never done. I LOVED every naughty tingle it gave me. I just...I miss Greyson. I miss him already. And if I was going to do any of...well...any of that stuff...I wanted it to be with my...'boyfriend'. You know?
Am I really going to say 'no' to them? Is that even possible? Because they're so damn gorgeous that I'd probably walk blindfolded into the middle of rush hour traffic if they promised me a kiss when I reached the other side.
I don't know. I'm so screwed up right now.
"I think this can work. I'll call in and tell them to set things up for next Saturday. Is that ok, hon?" My mom asked. I, absent-mindedly, nodded in agreement. "Good. Something tells me that you are going to be one heck of a heartbreaker before this is through."
I hope she's wrong on this one. I really hope she's wrong.