I spent the majority of the next period trying to mentally 'wish away' one rapidly hardening erection after another.
That's not even an exaggeration. The second I felt it going up in my pants, I'd have to immediately take notice of it and use every mental gymnastic in my arsenal to keep that super sexy tingle from bringing me to full hardness. I'd have to shift and wiggle in my seat a few times, bringing my legs together, steadying my breath while doing stupid math problems in my head. Multiplication tables work best. Seven, forty nine, three hundred and forty three, two thousand four hundred and one...go down! Go away!
It would take some serious concentration, and soon the sensation would fade...but I only made it another five minutes at the most before I was feeling all naughty and hyper again. I tried to concentrate on the teacher at the front of the classroom, but I couldn't get that image out of my head. I couldn't. It might have just been a peripheral peek at the blurry hint of Chris Margo's penis being wagged at the urinal like a puppy dog's tail...but those few seconds might as well have been a twelve hour porn marathon as far as I was concerned. My mouth was actually salivating at the idea of it being so close to me. I could have reached out and touched it if I wasn't shaking with terror and excitement at the time.
He was standing right next to me. Practically naked. Well, maybe not really, but...more naked than I'm used to. This is so crazy. Shit...I'm getting stiff again! No no no...I need to stop thinking about this. It's almost time for me to change classes and get to study hall. Study hall is easy. I don't have to think about anybody looking at what's going on in my lap area or worry about any teachers calling for me to stand up when I wasn't ready. I could relax a little bit in there, but I've got to get to study hall first. Ugh...until then...
...Four...sixteen...sixty four...two hundred and fifty six...
I seriously couldn't wait to get out of that place. I might have done a pretty good job at keeping my boy boners at bay, but now my balls were starting to ache from it. I think I'm going to have to at least let myself just fill out all the way and stay hard for a little bit. It's either that, or find a bathroom empty enough to 'take care' of myself before I explode. And I don't know about that second option. I've never jerked it at school before, no matter how desperate the situation got down there. All it takes is one cell phone pic or short video from some kid who caught me in the act and my whole life would be over! I'm not even going to take a chance on that happening to me. Believe me, it's not worth it.
I marched through the halls at top speed, bumping into as few other students as I could, and as I saw my study hall room in the distance...I felt myself getting hard again. I tried to speed up but the hallway was pretty crowded. Come on, just give me another minute before getting all sensitive on me! I could feel my stride getting a bit more awkward as I attempted to keep my legs slightly closed and yet keep walking. It was like I couldn't hold it back anymore.
I kept seeing it in the back of my mind. Chris' soft member in his hand. Jiggling it. His elbow almost touching mine. It was repeating on a continuous loop in my head, and I couldn't get it to stop.
...Nine...eighty one...ummm...six hundred and...wait...seven...shit! It's not working!!!
Closer and closer I got to the doorway. Harder and harder I got in my pants. I couldn't even try to reach down and adjust it without drawing unwanted attention to it at this point. "Excuse me. Sorry. Comin' through...sorry..." I said, navigating through the horde of absentminded students until I finally was able to get to my study hall and rush to the very back of the room to take a seat and hide my erection underneath my desk with a sigh of relief.
Alright, Mister Winky! Jesus! Go! Go for it! My boner started to swell to full hardness and it nearly left me breathless as it began to throb to the point of aching. Thank God nobody else is ever in a rush to get to study hall. As tight and stiff as I was, you'd think it be extremely uncomfortable...but, believe it or not, it was a huge relief to let it express itself. Thank goodness, I can breathe again.
"For crying out loud...you act like I neglect you at home!" I thought to myself.
Ok, emergency avoided. At least for now.
Don't think that I didn't feel slightly odd, sitting in public with the kind of hard on that could knock out a professional boxer with the right swivel of my hips! I did. But...DAMN it felt good to let it 'stretch' for a few minutes! Maybe TOO good. I don't want to make an obscene habit out of this, but for the next forty minutes I had enough cover to not really have to worry about it. Just...I'll give it some breathing room, and by the end of the period maybe I'll get some of this horny pandemonium out of my system and get my favorite pet to behave until I get home.
I did take advantage of my academic camouflage though. My brain was alive and coming up with new story ideas faster than I could even keep up with, mentally. I had to tear a page out of my notebook and grab a pen just to jot down some of the details as they flashed by me. Now, I always write my 'Andris' notes super SUPER small when taking notes in public. Like...so small that even I have to squint to see them clearly. And I use code words for certain things. I don't mention boys, or I use initials for things concerning sex, or just cut corners in general. That way, even if someone was close enough to look over my shoulder, and had superhuman sight that would allow them to spy on what I was writing about...they'd still have the task of decoding my carefully crafted phrases and hidden meanings before they blew the 'gay whistle' on me. Call me paranoid...but sometimes us closeted gay boys just have to be careful about this sort of thing.
High school is vicious enough without being labeled abnormal or different. I'm just trying to get out of this place in one piece so real life can begin and the kids here don't devour me whole. You know? Hopefully, later on, it won't really matter anymore.
'Mind your surroundings.' That's what Ra's Al Ghul told a young Batman once in the movies. Message received! Sounds good to me!
It's weird how I can focus on Chris' smile and it'll spawn this whole flurry of sexual thoughts that have nothing to do with it. You know? I'm honestly starting to worry if I'm being 'dirty' by thinking of him in that way. My personal stories aside, I never wanted to be a creep about my sexual feelings for him. I just wanted to channel some of this intense sexual frustration out in a written fantasy that would make my obsession a little easier to deal with. That's all. A little something to keep me from feeling so 'bottled up' and stressed out all the time. I'd never do anything to make Christopher Margo feel weird or out of place. NEVER! I'd be so mortified if he ever got a glimpse at some of the things that I wrote about him in secret. But it was never something that he was meant to see, you know? I just...I had to leak a few of my most private thoughts out in a few stories for the sake of my own sanity. Does that make sense? God, I hope that makes sense.
Sitting there in my study hall, I just kept writing down notes about how Chris would catch me looking at his wobbly meat in the bathroom, and he'd smile at me with those super cute dimples, and he'd say something like...like..."Do you want it? You can have it if you really want it, baby."
Of course, Chris would never say that in real life...but I hadn't HAD and sexual experience with another boy before. So who's to say that wasn't some weird interpretation of real teen life? It could happen, right? I'm sure of it. Or at least, I'm hoping.
I thought about the taste of his tongue in my mouth, and the feel of his butt flexing beneath my palms as I pressed him against he wall. I thought about inhaling his intoxicating scent...a mixture of freshly baked doughnuts and warm clothes pulled right out of the dryer. I thought about the smooth feel of his naked skin, and the sparkle of his bright eyes as he looked at me with a craving that nearly knocked me over with its potent blast of irresistible charm. The whole time...I'm jotting down tiny notes as fast as my hand would allow. Notes like, 'Hot body. Kiss on neck. Soft whispers. Slide hand in pants.', using my code of course. Just writing 'sx' instead of sex, or 'ks' instead of kiss. Or the letter 'g' instead of ever writing the word gay in its entirety. Maybe it's lame to think that it would fool anybody if they read the whole thing in context, but it helped to set my mind at ease so...whatever.
Every time somebody got up from their desk or walked anywhere near me, I made sure to hunch my shoulders up and cover my miniature scribblings with my hand to make sure that nobody was spying on me. Can't be too careful.
I imagined Chris as being a decent length down there. I've never been someone who worries about someone having a humongous penis, so why exaggerate. Anything connected to Chris Margo would be a thing of infinite beauty and grace. All I want is the opportunity to look up at his face as I slide that long, heated, rod of excitable teen flesh in between my lips and over my tongue...watching him close his eyes and softly moan my name. God...he must taste soooo good.
As I kept taking more notes, I found myself actually wiping my forehead on the back of my arm, droplets of perspiration forming as my imagination took me to heights of passion and lust that seemed to be getting more intense every time Chris and I bumped into one another. My breath getting short, and the hardness in my pants getting more uncomfortable as I tried to use a series of abbreviated notes to express the utter bliss I'd experience the first time a I squeezed my engorged shaft into Chris' constricted hole. I could feel my eyes rolling back as I pictured it in my head. The tightest little hole, warm and moist, accepting my relentless push into his tunnel...until the soft padding of his shapely cheeks surrounded my length and mashed themselves against the front of my thighs. Oh wow...
An awkward sensation went through me...and I realized that I was leaking a little bit at the tip. Probably just a dot's worth in my underwear, but it was enough to calm me down and stop myself before I triggered any messy accidents. That would be bad. Obviously.
Jesus. If I'm getting this worked up over my notes for the next 'Andris' fanfic...then the real thing is going to be phenomenal!
You know, it's strange, but I always write my stories out, and it's awesome to now have a collection of them to be proud of, but sometimes I have to ask myself who I'm writing them for. I mean, I definitely think they're sexy and explosive and SO much fun...but it's not like I go back and read them myself. I mean, I don't look at my own stories and get turned on all over again. I don't open them up on my computer and stroke to my own thoughts and fantasies once I finish them. But, somehow, just writing them out and making those horny cravings a concrete reality just...its like a form of masturbation in itself. Just on a mental, maybe even on a spiritual, level. It's just as much a release for me as a wet sock hidden at the bottom of my laundry basket. I guess it feels good to let off some of my naughty build up through words every now and then. There are days when I'd definitely prefer the real thing, but there are other days when the fantasy is more than enough to keep me smiling. There's no other feeling in the world like it.
I made sure to put thoughts of humping Chris Margo's sweet ass out of my head a good five to ten minutes before my study hall was over. Sometimes, little aftershocks occur and pull me right back into a state of shame. But one I got out of there, things seemed to be going great. I was going to link up with Johnny and make a loose plan for our weekend get together. We've been cinema buddies since we were ten, and it's been a bonding experience that neither one of us can deny. When we find a good flick, we're all high fives and goosebumps. When we find a bad one, we're all giggles and rude comments. As long as Johnny and I are together, we can't go wrong. Every weekend is a cinematic holiday for us. Good times. Cheesy one liners. Spontaneous jokes. Hot popcorn...
I rounded the corner in the hallways heading towards Johnny's locker...
I tried to get my eyes to focus. Because something seemed really 'off' about what I was looking at.
Ummm...why is Chris Margo talking to Johnny by his locker? What happened there? What is...what is going on? Is this a joke or....?
I could feel my pulse racing as both Johnny and Chris looked up to see me walking towards them...and the horror of it being too late to turn around and run in the opposite direction nearly caused me to feel faint. What the...FUCK?!?!? Oh God...oh...oh God...
This isn't supposed to be happening right now. What did he do? What in the name of all that is holy did Johnny do to get Chris to stand beside him in public and...and...omigod, is he smiling? He's totally smiling right now! Chris can be shy about smiling sometimes, so he tried to hide it from other people. But...but those glorious dimples of him sink into his cheeks in the most adorable way, and he couldn't hide his smile even if he wanted to. He's so dan cute that he doesn't even have CONTROL over it! How crazy is that?
My feet turned into clumps of wet clay as I got close enough to them to say hello. Something that was a serious struggle for me as Chris grinned in my direction. I actually felt my own eyebrows crinkle up slightly as I fought the urge to whimper in his presence. "Hi..." I said, so softly that they probably had to read my lips to know that I said anything at all. "Sooooo...what's going on?" I asked.
Johnny says, "We were just shootin' the shit, that's all."
Chris uses his angelic voice to say, "Yeah. My Spanish class is just at the end of the hall over there. So..." Then, he did the cutest thing and ran his right hand up through the locks of his brown hair, giving me a shiver. "Oh, hey, I think I did ok on the test. Maybe your good luck worked." He grinned.
He thanked me for wishing him good luck on a test. That just happened. I'm having a serious 'fanboy' moment right now!
"Oh...o-o-ok...hehehe..." Shit. I was so unprepared for this.
Johnny was like, "Dude! Turns out that Chris here is a horror movie maniac just like we are!" It was hard to shake myself free of Chris' magnetic pull on my senses, but I managed to peek over at Johnny long enough to let him know that I was listening. "I know you said that we had literally seen them all at this point, but Chris just rattled three movie titles off the top of his head that I had never even heard of. He said they were amazing!"
Trembling nervously in his presence, I peeked back over at Chris and calmly 'squeaked', "Oh? Oh yeah?"
Chris had this really gentle blush flood into his cheeks and I was suddenly left breathless. Awwwwww!!! He is the embodiment of a teenagers loss of control!
"Yeah. There are so many indie flicks out there that I really liked a lot. I was telling Johnny about a few that most people either skip or don't even know about. That's where the real gold is. And they're R-Rated too. None of that commercial PG-13 stuff. It's grimy and gritty and all the things that makes horror awesome."
Oh wow...keep talking dirty to me, Chris. I'm loving every adorable word.
I managed to speak up and said, "Are you sure? Hehehe, I mean...Johnny and I have burned through a lot of movies over the pat few years. Mainstream, indie, and underground. We're hard to impress."
Then Chris says, "I'll take that challenge." And he let his smile just...blossom right in front of me. His dimples are so deep and so CUTE!!! Ahhhhh!!!
That's when Johnny tells me, "Yeah! Dude, that's what I was getting ready to tell you! Chris has got a lot of these flicks on BluRay already! We were talking, and I told him about how we get together on the weekends and stuff..." No! Johnny, please...no! "...And since he's already got the flicks, and you've got the spot to hang out..." NO, Johnny! PLEASE don't tell me that you... "...I just figured, why don't we make it a threesome this weekend? Let's see what this boy's street cred is like when it comes to the horror club, right?"
"I...well..." I didn't have an answer for that. I couldn't even pretend to have an answer for that.
Chris looked into my eyes for a moment, and I was so weak that I actually leaned my shoulder against the locker to remain standing. He said, "I wouldn't mind bringing some stuff over. Nobody else I know likes horror movies. They're all such scaredy cats that I end up watching them all alone. They don't have the stomach for it. They can't even watch the 'tame' stuff without leaving the room and wanting to hide under the bed or something. It would be cool to share the experience with someone else for a change."
Johnny was like, "See? Chris can bring us some new flicks, we can all share a few scares, and we don't even have to spend any cash renting another dud. We can use that extra dough to drop the microwave popcorn and get ourselves a pizza instead. What do you say?"
What do I say? It's fucking Chris Margo! He's standing right there looking at me! The word 'no' simply vanishes from my vocabulary the moment that gorgeous boy gets involved.
Nearly consumed by nervous jitters, I stammered, "Well...ok. Sure. I mean, if you wanna come over tomorrow, we usually meet up around six..."
"Ok!" Chris said. Rather cheerfully, I might add. "That sounds great." Then he pulled out his cell phone. "Johnny and I exchanged numbers already, but let me get yours too. Just in case."
The thing about wishing and dreaming for things with the kind of obsession that I've been harboring for what seems like an eternity right now...when those wishes and dreams begin to flourish...you begin to panic. It's almost like you're never ready to watch events unfold in your favor. I almost wanted to slow down the progression of time itself to process this. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option. Instead, I took out my phone and Chris Margo and I exchanged phone numbers. We...we actually did it. I mean, his number is in my phone right now. I can call him right NOW if I wanted to. Well, you know...if I had the courage. And my number is in his phone too. A personal part of me, is now available to him. To the most incredible boy that I've ever known. He has a special access to me that most people don't. Wow. I mean...like...WOW!
By the time Johnny and I left school that day, I was still in a daze. We got on the bus together, and our conversation about the whole idea was slightly awkward. Mostly because I found it hard to pay attention to what Johnny was saying, and partially because it's so hard for me to talk about Chris without gushing and getting all silly over how beautiful he is. Most of the conversations I have about Chris are inner monologues where I don't have to worry about judgement or revealing any secrets that need to stay secret. Still, as clumsy as it all was, it felt good to be able to speak his name aloud in front of my best friend. I think I got a little chill every time I said it.
When I got home, I looked at my room...and while it wasn't atrocious, it wasn't NEARLY clean enough for making a first impression on Chris Margo! I've got to clean up!
I need to do my laundry, and dust the furniture with that lemon scented stuff my mom uses in the living room! I need to light scented candles. Like...that apple cinnamon crisp one from the drug store. I need new sheets on my bed. Maybe get rid of some of my old action figures. I have a teddy bear on my bed. Are teddy bears still cool? Chris seems like the kind of guy who would think that was really cute. I think I'm going to leave him on the bed. I'll get everything together and make it look awesome! I'll show him my house. And I'll have him sit on my bed. Holy cow!!! Is he sits anywhere on my bed, I'm going to hump that specific spot for the next two weeks straight and pretend it's him!
I'm actually getting excited about this! Ok, I've got 24 hours to make this place a palace! I'll get started soon. But first...
Toss those study hall notes right out the window for now! I've got a brand NEW idea for my next 'Andris' story! And I know what my title is going to be...