Left Without Words

Chapter 20

Sometimes it feels like a dream that I simply can't wake up from. Laying there, stripped down to my bare skin, kissing the softest pair of lips that I've ever had the pleasure of being in contact with. Feeling his hands on me...touching me in places that I would have cringed and shied away from if I didn't crave him as much as I did. Deme's tender embrace was like nothing that I've ever experienced before. It was gentle...and yet so protective of my aching heart at the same time. His kiss had so much power in its sensual contact...but he had the skill and the sensitivity to use just the right amount of pressure...just the right amount of affection...just the right amount of bashful curiosity...to drive me completely wild from the inside out. How did I even get to this point in my life? Seriously. I'm snuggled up with the most beautiful boy that I've ever seen before in my life...and it just seemed to excite me and calm me down at the same time.

Love is so weird sometimes, you know?

I never wanted to let him go. His smooth flesh was like a warm security blanket for my fevered emotions...all struggling to make sense out of what was happening here between us. It was almost as if I was deliberately trying to find ways to dismantle this level of romantic bliss. Or...at least chip away at the edges until it was broken down into smaller chunks that my rapidly beating heart would be able to handle digesting a little bit at a time. This was just...ugh! It was too much 'wow' for my poor brain to full comprehend. Especially when I made the mistake of looking into Deme's beautiful eyes...having him smile back at me as he saw my wildly turbulent love for him bubble out of control.

He kissed me again, and I laid my head on his chest as his smooth legs slid over me...his arms holding me close. "You are so comfortable, Shane." He moaned.

"Yeah. I am." I smiled.

"No. I mean for me. You are comfortable to me."

"Yeah? Well, ok. That too. Hehehe!" I sighed. I felt myself getting hard again, and the spongy tip of my growing erection began to dig into Deme's hip, causing his sexy body to react accordingly. Unfortunately, I said, "I don't know when my mom and Sarah might be coming back..." I hated to say the words out loud. I really did. But, after another brief kiss on the lips, I said, "Better safe than sorry?"

With a heavy sigh and slight roll of his eyes, Deme kissed me on the cheek and said, "Ok. Better safe than sorry." But when I tried to get up, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down to the bed again. "Wait...one more!"

He wrapped his arms and legs around me and hugged me sooooo tight! Kissing me three or four times all over my face. "Hehehe, what are you doing???"

"I am not ready yet!" He giggled. "Kiss me more. Please?"

Well, I'd be a stone cold idiot to turn down a proposition like that, now wouldn't I? So I connected my lips to his again, our hard inches sliding up and down against one another with the eager grinding of our hips. His body was so addictive to me. Olive colored silk...heated to the point where it nearly caused me to break a sweat. Our making out got more intense, our already labored breaths getting even heavier...we could feel our concepts of time fading away, more and more, by the second. If such a thing exists whenever we were together alone like this.

Restraint. That's what we needed at that particular moment.

We were getting all revved up again, and Deme and I could so easily get caught up in one another that I was afraid we'd slip up and get caught. Which, ummm....would not be a good thing. I wish I could say that it didn't matter, and that us being in love would be a joyous celebration for everybody who got to see us walk around, hand in hand, sharing an occasional kiss just to let the world know that we had found our own slice of Heaven on Earth. Our private island of emotional paradise.

But...we all know that life doesn't always work like that...don't we?

SOMETIMES it does, and I hope and pray that Deme and I will be some of the lucky ones. But, seeing as I don't exactly know how this whole 'gay' thing works when it comes to having an actual boyfriend, as opposed to jacking off to pics of teen celebrities online...I'm thinking that maybe I should be a little more careful with the way I approach this sort of thing. You know?

"Ok, ok...c'mon. We have to get dressed." I said with a prominent blush. "They're gonna be home soon."

"Nooooooo! I want more of my Shane!" Deme grinned. "Call them and tell them to stay away! Hehehe!"

"Hahaha! I can't! That's almost certain to get them to come home faster! Trust me!" We laughed for a moment, but our eyes connected...a lingering gaze that drew us in for another passionate kiss. And I felt faint as he lightly caressed my cheek in his palm.

"One day, you and me...we're going to find a place where we don't have to worry about such things. I promise." He said, just above a whisper.

"Cool..." I whispered back.


I sat up and swung my legs around to get up and walk to the bathroom to clean up a little bit. I've never felt so 'comfortable' being naked around somebody before. It was kind of cool. Especially since I was obviously fully erect, my boyhood sticking out in front of me without shame and bouncing with every step. Hehehe, I wonder if this is what married couples do on their honeymoon. Probably that, and a whole lot more. I bet THEY don't have to worry about having their mom come home and catch them having sex! Grrrr!

I got a washcloth and ran some hot water to wipe myself off. I swallowed Deme's sexy load, and he swallowed mine, but the amount of time that we spent kissing and rolling around naked on my bed left quite a bit of stickiness on my stomach and thighs. It almost felt like a shame to waste it. Even dried up, I imagined it still must taste like crystalline traces of sweet boy sugar. Hehehe! The audacity of me...wiping it away with a warm cloth. You know?

Shortly after I started cleaning up, Deme entered the bathroom too...stepping behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist as he kissed me on the side of my neck and held me close. "Thank you, Shane...for being my ultimate joy. I don't know if I have any heart left for myself. I give it all to you. All of it. You can have it."

With his chin on my shoulder, we both looked in the bathroom mirror above the sink and shared a moment. It baffles me how such a stunning boy could possibly give himself over to me like this. I spent so much of my young life thinking that this could never happen. That this would never ever be a part of life that I could ever hope to look forward to. That was more suited to 'normal' people. Not freakish abnormalities like me...drooling over random boys in my 6th grade gym class when I first realized that my tastes were vastly different fro the people that I called my peers, my friends, my family. I don't think that I was depressed about it or anything...I had just convinced myself that it wasn't a part of the typical life experience that I was meant to take part in. I may only be fourteen years old...but I thought I knew when it was time to simply give up. There are no 'boy on boy' fairy tales for me to look up to or be inspired by when it comes to living happily ever after. I just figured that they didn't exist. And that hurt....GOD, did it hurt...

...Because I felt so alone that tears didn't seem to do that empty void within me any kind of justice...

But now?

Now I'm standing here in the nude, with my stunningly beautiful boyfriend holding me in his loving arms...and I realize that a life of love and wonder for me is not only normal...it's POSSIBLE! For the first time, I get to see what all the lovey dovey fuss is about. Hehehe, just like the straight boys do. And you know what? I was a sucker for ever downplaying the sensation of truly being floored by the object of your affections this way. I totally get it now. And I had to hold back tears as I looked at the vision of us in that mirror, and feeling so much pride and joy with the reflection staring back at us.

You don't get many moments like this in your life. It's best to enjoy them to their fullest while you can.

"I love you, Deme..." I said. I didn't even think about it beforehand. It just sort of slipped.

He gave me a squeeze around my tender middle, and kissed me on the cheek. "I love you too. And I will cherish you every day of my life. My blue sky. My golden sun. My garden of roses. The air I breathe. You are the dream that I have been waiting for, and now I get to hold you. I can't let you go." He said.

"Hehehe! You always have to outdo me!"

"Outdo? What?"

"It's no fair. You're an actual poet, and I'm just...I'm just 'me'. It's so unfair." I blushed.

Deme smiled and said, "You smile is my poetry. Your laugh is my heart's song..."

"STOP THAT!!!" I laughed, causing him to giggle wildly, the longish strands of his dark hair draping themselves over my shoulder...tickling the sides of my neck. "You suck..." I teased.

"You are too worried about things. I love you just like you are. No need to impress me."

"Yeah, I know, but..." I turned my head to face him, "..I want to though. I want you to know how I feel. And I don't ever want you to forget how much you mean to me. Not even for a second."

"If you kiss me...then I will know. Promise." Deme smiled, and I was quick to oblige him by planting another deep, sensual, kiss on those lush lips of his, feeling his tongue enter my mouth as we spent another few minutes making ourselves extremely hard again.

I had to force myself to pull away. "Ok, ok, ok...we need to focus here. Hehehe! But...we need to find a way to get together for more than a few minutes at a time. This is getting to be a bit stressful, now."

He reached out a hand to give my shaft a stroke or two. "This will help you relax."

I sighed, "God, I love you..." Kissing his lips again. Hehehe, but I made sure to stop myself. "I just wanna brush my teeth really quick, ok? Here's the washcloth, if you've got any traces of 'stuff' on you."

"You can put some toothpaste on my finger as well?" He asked, now wiping himself off.

"Actually, you know what? Hold on a sec..." I said, bending over to look in the cabinet. "Here, I've got like two or three extra toothbrushes in here. I've never even opened them. They're super cheap, so I hope they're not too harsh on your gums or anything, but my dentist gives me a new one, like, every time I go in for a check up. So I've got plenty."

"I can keep it?" He asked.

"If you want to. Sure. I've only got one set of teeth, after all." I smiled. "Besides, I doubt there's anything more intimate to share with your boyfriend than a toothbrush. Right?"

I was just joking when I said it, but Deme turned really red in the face when I said it. Hehehe, omigod, it was sooooo cute! He snickered quietly to himself, and his hair flopped down into his eyes as he avoided the compliment and turned away from me to open the toothbrush from its packaging. And I watched him run it under the faucet for a few seconds to get it wet, and then he reached for the toothpaste tube in my hand.

"Un unh! Hold it out..." I said, and he smiled as he held it out, and I pressed out a decent squeeze of toothpaste on the brush for him. I think he liked having me do it for him. I think I liked doing it for him too. I don't know...when you're this deeply infatuated with someone...every little thing seems erotic to you. We might be young...but I'm starting to think that maybe it's supposed to be this way. Who wants to get so savvy and jaded that the little things don't turn you on anymore? How much would that suck, to simply stop paying attention to the magic of it all. You know?

We both shared the bathroom mirror as we brushed our teeth together. Hehehe, we kept looking at each other, and giggling as the toothpaste foamed up at the corners of our lips, and then Deme suddenly leaned over to kiss me on the cheek, leaving a big foamy mess on me! Hahaha! I started to laugh and had to spit everything out in the sink before using my hand to wipe my face off. "Hehehe, what the hell, man? That's gross!"

Deme spit his toothpaste out next, giggling right along with me. "You are too beautiful to not kiss every chance that I get." He said.

"Well, warn me next time before you cream my face with foamy spit and stuff!"

"No promises..." He said, and finished brushing his teeth without saying much more about it.

I think it was sharing that moment with him, right there in front of the mirror, right over my bathroom sink, that made me think about...you know...stuff.

I was happy. I really was We both were. But I had a few thoughts swimming around in my head that felt like...itches that I had to scratch. If that makes sense.

I was rnsing my mouth out, and then I asked him, "So...heh...when you left Greece...all the girls in town fell into a deep depression and started crying, huh?"

Deme playfully rolled his eyes. "Papa exaggerates." He said. "He always thinks I am some kind of Romeo, but I hardly knew any of them. And they didn't cry. They just tried to convince me to stay. But I didn't want to remain there. I wanted to come here with my father. See America. Meet my beautiful sexy boyfriend for the first time. Hehehe!" He said, nudging me with his elbow.

It definitely made me smile, but that pesky cluster of thoughts pushed me to keep reaching. "If you were to leave me to go far away, I'd probably cry my eyes out every single day. So I doubt it was all that much of an exaggeration." I told him. "Because you're like...rainbows...over the lake at sunrise, and ummm...like Summer breezes when they're cool, but...also kinda hot at the same time..."

Deme raised an eyebrow, and we both had to laugh for a moment. "What are you saying?" He laughed.

"Whatever. I TOLD you that I'm not a poet! Geez! Don't make me feel awkward or anything!"

"Hehehe, your first tries at poetry is much like my first tries at cooking at Papa Milo's!"

I gasped. "Omigod! Am I THAT bad??? Jesus, I'm SO sorry!"

"HEY!!!" He said, giving me a little shove and causing us to giggle boyishly at one another for another few seconds or so. He pointed a finger at me, saying, "Don't be rude!"

"My bad! Hehehe!" Then...I asked him, "If...I mean...if my mom were to find out that I...that we...were 'spending time together' like this...?" I wasn't sure how to continue that spoken thought without sounding weird about it, but I tried to do it anyway. "...I mean, that would probably be a bad thing, wouldn't it?" I turned my head to look at him directly for a reaction, but Deme hesitated as he continued to stare at the mirror instead.

"You mean...to tell?" He asked.

Immediately, I shot back with, "Well, no! I don't wanna tell if you don't wanna tell. We don't have to say anything. I'm happy just being with you and us having fun. I...like...I love you. That's all that matters, right?" I could feel myself retreating so fast that I was almost dizzy from the momentum of it all. Did I fuck this all up? PLEASE tell me that I didn't fuck it all up! Stupid brain! Stop THINKING so much!!!

"I don't think it would be so bad..." He said, but he still seemed to be restraining himself a bit from telling me what was really on his mind. I have to admit that it worried me a little bit. Then he added, "I think about it. But...Papa...I don't know if he would understand."

I could pretend that it didn't hurt me to hear that but...what good would it do me in the long run? You know?

"I understand..." I said.

"No! It's not guilt or shame. I promise you, Shane. I just think that he would be unable to come to terms that his only son doesn't like girls the way he wants me to." He said. "Bragging. Always bragging. Dimitry, Dimitry, Dimitry...the girls are so crazy about him. He is just to shy to talk to them. They chase him around and he is just looking for someone special before he makes his decision. He is so proud..."

"And you don't want to disappoint him...right?" I asked, and he gave me a slightly hurt look. He didn't answer vocally, but his eyes said it all. And I would be a liar if I said that I couldn't relate.

"You're my someone special, Shane. I know that now. I just don't know if my father could ever understand that the way I do. Sometimes, I want to be the son he expects me to be. And sometimes...I just want to be me. The real me. Right here...with you."


But before I could finish, I heard the front door of the house open up and someone coming inside!

What the....??? There's no WAY my mom and Sarah got back from the store that quickly!!!

Deme and I were both standing in front of the mirror, completely NAKED, with all of our clothes scattered all over my bedroom floor!

"Sarah? It's Stephanie. Are you home?" Came a voice from the living room. Holy shit! Why is Sarah's friend Stephanie in our fucking house right now??? What is she doing here? Deme and I looked at each other with wide eyes, and it was too late to just make a mad, naked, dash back to my bedroom without being seen. There was only ONE towel on the rack next to the shower! Which means....ummmm...one of us was going to have stand in this bathroom naked while the other one stalls her by running interference to keep her busy. And that, I'm thinking, is gonna have to be me.

I frantically motioned for Deme to pass me the towel so I could wrap it around my waist. He snatched it off of the rack and was already panting with anxiety as the threat of us getting caught in the most compromising positions of our lives, and he instinctively climbed into the bathtub, pulling the shower curtain closed to hide behind.

And here we thought we were being 'careful'! Why is Stephanie destroying our paradise right now? Seriously!