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My legs were trembling like crazy as I thought about walking over to that couch. The idea of sitting next him just rattled me for some reason. The weird thing is that it was really difficult to tell whether it was excitement trying to push me forward, or if it was terror trying to hold me back. Maybe a little bit of both? Hell, I don’t know! I just sort of wandered around Steven’s party for another few minutes, trying to figure out my next big plan of action before I ended up missing my chance.
I used to dream about him, you know? Adler, I mean. But it wasn’t anything sexier than maybe a brief kiss or two. I never got that far before the hyper feelings in my rapidly beating heart woke me up and I was standing at full attention with ideas of doing so much to him if I ever thought that he would possibly give me a chance to. So long ago, but I can remember very vivid detail of those sweet dreams like they just happened five minutes ago. Weird...considering that I usually forget even my hottest dreams by the time I got up to brush my teeth in the morning. There was always something so extra special about him that stuck with me. Annnnd...now I’m starting to feel all wiggly again.
I tried to nonchalantly look over to where Adler was sitting, and I saw some girl and her best friend talking to him...each of them with big smiles on their faces. And one of them looked like they were blushing. I mean, leave it to Adler to be ‘polite’ or whatever...but it didn’t look like he knew them any better than he knew me. And yet, despite being total strangers...both girls seemed to laugh and giggle at almost every word that came out of his mouth. But it was like...overdone, you know? Thy were obviously trying to engage in some immature flirting with the cutest boy at the whole party. And you know what? I was sort of jealous about having to look at it from where I was standing. I mean, at least they got the chance to go over and talk to him and feel him out a bit without having it look weird to everybody else around us. I wonder if they ever stop and think about how lucky they are to be able to do that.
Lord knows it’ll never be a luxury that I’ll ever get to have...the world being the way that it is.
However, as I found myself staring at them all and trying to figure out that whole situation, Adler’s eyes kind of randomly glanced up and I swear that he looked right at me! With a sudden gasp, I got super nervous and began looking all over Steven’s basement to see if I could find a suitable distraction to keep him from suspecting me of being some kind of a kid predator or something. That would break my heart in two to have him think about me that way.
My breath was getting harder and harder to catch, and I just sort of looked up at the ceiling for a moment, and then lowering my gaze down to the carpet. Do you think he noticed? I never meant for him to catch me gawking at him like that. What’s next? Me drooling all over his lap? I’m such an idiot.
I kept my eyes focused elsewhere, and then sort of turned around to face the table of snacks and punch, hoping to keep my cool for just a little bit longer. And yet, pulling my hungry gaze away from him is always much more difficult than it sounds. So after about thirty seconds or so, I tried to casually turn back around, lifting that cup of punch up to my lips so I could take a sip and maybe hide a portion of my face from him. I just wanted to see if maybe he had dismissed my stare as something random, and not really worth thinking about. But when I peeked back over at him again, the girls had gone off to whisper and giggle over him in some other corner of the room or something...and Adler was looking right back at me.
But it wasn’t just, like...a regular glance. There was a certain sensual determination in its passionate presentation that almost seemed to be trying to broadcast a clear message to me...and me alone. A subtle, but deliberate, intensity. Gently smoldering eyes and all. I could see it. I could feel it. When I say that look took my breath away, I’m being literal here. We actually held our contact for a few seconds, and just when I was reaching the moment of ‘breathe or die’...some of Steven’s fizzy punch actually went down the wrong way, and I immediately got all choked up, coughing and sputter as I spun to turn my back to Adler again while royally embarrassing myself by practically hacking up a lung!
Fuck! Well, I certainly screwed up that magic moment, didn’t I? Yikes! It got so bad that Steven actually came over to lightly pat me on my back and shoulders, asking me if I was ok. I think everybody at the party saw that, and I blushed so hard that I just nodded and walked away to find the bathroom and finish having my silly little fit in there instead. Ugh! Adler makes such a friggin’ CLOWN out of me. Every time.
It took me a little bit to finally stop wheezing and carrying on, trying to get my breath under control as quickly as I possibly could, and then I checked myself out in the mirror. I was trying to mentally ‘will’ my red and flush cheeks to go away so I could return to my normal complexion and maybe get back in that room before somebody came looking for me to find out what went wrong. Jesus. I swear, that boys unfathomable beauty is going to straight up KILL me one of these days!
I teased my hair a bit, fixed my shirt, and then I walked back out to rejoin the festivities, only taking a brief peek at Adler this time. Obviously, he was watching again. Probably trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me. But just as Steven was dimming the basement lights and getting the TV all hooked up for the movie, I noticed that Adler had slid his way all the way over to the left end of the couch, leaving me plenty of room to come over and join him. It was a bit of a baffling moment for me, because there’s a reason that common phrases like ‘too good to be true’ exist, you know? I mean, I’m not saying that I’m overly insecure or anything...because I’m not. It’s just...I mean...awwww, LOOK at him! How delusionally narcisistic would I have to be that I could just talk to a boy like that for a few minutes here and there at one party, and he suddenly takes a serious interest in me? It just doesn’t make any kind of logical sense. I mean, am I wrong here? I’m not saying that I’m ugly or can’t ever find love at some point in my life, but who just randomly shows up at a party and finds himself nabbing the absolute, indisputable, Holy Grail of cute boys on his very first time out? That doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t.
Can you even blame me for thinking that is some kind of an ‘outing’ prank just waiting to happen? How dumb do I look? Right?
Still, as everybody began taking their places all around the basement for the movie, Adler’s eyes met with mine again, and this time I sort of nodded in his direction. Believe it or not...he nodded back. And nobody had taken the space next to him yet. A surprising development, as I would have thought that people would be bludgeoning one another half to death with blunt objects for the opportunity to take a spot at his side.
Am I ready for this? I can just go over and sit beside him, right? We’re just watching a movie together. It’s super exciting for me, sure...but if he’s not into it the same way that I am...it won’t feel awkward, will it? It’ll just be me getting all jittery and nervous next to him while trying to control my involuntary convulsions in his presence. It’s not like he can call me out on it or anything. I’m just...well...it’s just like...
“Got your blanket, Seth!” Steven said, catching me off guard. He shoved this big comfy blanket into my arms, practically punching me in the CHEST with it! “I know how you get when it gets to jump scares and shit. Hehehe, I made sure that I had it all cleaned up and ready for ya for when the fireworks start. I figured you might need a comfort zone from it all.”
Timing, Steven. Fucking...timing.
I sort of closed my eyes for an extended moment, gritting my teeth and saying, “I really doubt that I need a comfort blanket for this stuff anymore, dude. Ok?”
“Seriously?” He asked, out loud. It seemed like everybody was listening now. “I’ve got mine. We used to jump and pull it all the way up to our eyes! Don’t you remember?”
I attempted to give him a silent signal to shut the hell up with my eyes, but he didn’t seem to take the hint. He just kept talking, not thinking that he was embarrassing me at all. “Are you sure?” He asked. “Dude, this is like...tradition for us. I man, I’ve got mine!”
“I think I’ll be ok.” I told him.
But Adler spoke up and said, “I’ll take it. It looks comfy.” Ah shit… “The ceiling fan seems a little cold anyway. I can cover my legs up and get comfortable.” Who the hell would ever want to cover up those sexy boy legs??? Seriously.
“Ummm, k. Adler can have it if he wants it.” I said, the blanket being big enough to cover a whole bed, and almost as thick as a Winter comforter.
“Sweet. Thanks, Seth.” Adler said. Did I just sigh out loud? I don’t know if I was paying attention or not. I think I was concentrating too hard on keeping my knees from buckling underneath me. Being ‘friendly’ with a boy like that is so emotionally exhausting. You have no idea.
“Are you sure?” I asked. Not that it really mattered one way or the other. I just needed to respond to him with something that sounded somewhat normal.
“Yeah. Definitely. Horror movies are more fun with a little bit of comfort added into the mix, right?” He said, and his eyes connected to mine for a moment that not only caused a worrisome level of chaos in the center of my stomach...but I found myself getting on of those involuntary boners that I had learned to be so SCARED of since they started happening all on their own a little over a year ago. They just kind of spring up out of nowhere most of the time, and it’s embarrassing as hell trying to hide your unexpected ‘chubby’ from your friends and family, as well as your classmates at school, when they just spring up out of nowhere for no reason, whatsoever.
But when Adler Prince reached out for the blanket, his fingers lightly brushing up against mine as I handed it to him...my erection lost all control! Like, this was FAR from being a false alarm, or just a puberty flex to test itself out without my consent. This was a full fledged moment of true arousal coming from a moment of actual physical contact. My whole body was reacting to him in ways that I had never been prepared for until that very moment, and it was like being insane...so out of control.
I swear...I could smell the unfathomable sweetness of his honey coated fragrance just from having him stand this close to me. I nearly began to hyperventilate.
“We can share, if you want.” Adler said. “Scary movies are always better with a little added comfort included. It’ll be cool.”
Please stop talking. I’m falling even deeper in love with you every time I hear a single word leave your mouth. Did he really say that we could share? That’s so cute! FUCK! That’s like the cutest thing he’s ever said to me! God...I’m getting soooo HARD right now!
“Ok. Yeah. We’ll share! That works!” I said abruptly, and I sort of ‘duck walked’ my way over to the couch, trying to keep everybody from seeing my obscene display of boyish cravings before I was able to at least sit down and put a pillow in my lap or something.
When the hell am I going to get a handle on this thing? Hasn’t science come up with a way to combat spontaneous boners for young teenage boys yet??? Is there, like...an anti-viagra pill for us or something? Oh God...I actually feel like I’m seconds away from cumming a whole bucket load of slime on myself right now! Just because Adler’s fingers touched my fingers. How do I ever expect to talk to another boy who can do that to me without even trying. Look at his legs. Those smooth, sexy legs. Omigod, he’s coming over with the blanket! Can he see my stiffy? I hope not. I crossed my arms and leaned forward a bit to make sure that it was hidden...but even put that little bit of pressure on it was enough to make it jump and throb and swell up even worse than before. Looking at Adler’s face didn’t help much either. He soooo pretty. He really is. His whole dreamy appeal is like...total magic to me. You have no idea.
“Here...” He said, finally catching up to me after my hasty escape. He handed me one end of the big blanket, and then he sat on the other end of the couch, stretching his legs out a little bit, his sock feet touching mine.
My face turned a deep shade of red almost instantly. I turned my head to look away from him, and I think he did the same. “Sorry...” I said, just above a whisper.
“It’s ok. Sorry.” He told me, and he draped the blanket over both of our legs, and we scooted down a bit to make sure that we could both pull the blanket further up to our necks if we needed to during the scary parts. At first, I felt really bad about showing a bit of my weakness for certain horror flick scares, but as our eyes met again, holding their contact for a bit longer than normal...Adler giggled and said, “I have a koala pillow at home.”
Confused, I was like, “You have a what? What does that mean?”
Adler’s blush deepened a bit more, and he lightly brushed his fingers through his dark brown hair with a smirk. It was so damn cute that I thought I was going to lose consciousness for a moment there. Oh wow...look at his lips! He has the most tantalizing lips ever! They’re perfect. “I have this pillow with a big koala bear on it...and if I’m watching something scary, I sort of hold on to it and give it a squeeze it. That’s all. Sometimes, a blanket isn’t enough, you know? I’ve gotta get my little comfort squeeze in.” Are we talking? It’s so dreamy to think that me and Adler Prince are having a conversation. It almost feels like a wet dream to me. I’m just waiting to wake up and find myself adding another pair of gooey, sticky, undies to the laundry bin. He’s not supposed to be this cool. He was never something that I thought was accessible before. He was like...the glimmering stars in the night sky at Summer camp, you know? Meant to be marveled at and talked about...but only seen from a distance so vast that ever being able to touch that level of greatness was simply an awkward and misguided fantasy. You’re not supposed to actually reach up and touch the stars. That’s not logical. You just kind of stare from a distance, and wonder what it would be like to stand in the presence of such greatness.
That’s kind of how I thought about Adler. This is what he was in my eyes. It would be arrogant of me to think that I deserved anything more. And it may cause me some pain, some sighing and the ache of a tortured heart...but it was I expected from him. Nothing more. So, with both of us sitting at opposite ends of the couch, leaning up against the arms, with a thick blanket covering us up from the waist down...was almost too much of a die hard fantasy for my poor brain to really comprehend or enjoy while I was in the moment.
“Yeah. I guess that makes sense.” I said, my voice shaking with the infatuated madness rumbling around within me. But as I was thinking about it...I sort of worked up the courage to stop squirming internally, and I said, “I don’t really need a blanket for the scary parts, you know? I just...I mean, it’s kinda chilly in here. Especially with just me and my shorts and t-shirt. Sometimes it gets a little cold down here.”
“Oh.” He said. “I mean, that’s cool or whatever.”
“If you want to get another blanket or something, I know where they keep them upstairs. Or, you know...since Steven’s sister is gone...you could prolly just take her blanket or something.”
“Nah, it’s ok. I’m pretty comfortable just like this.” He said, and his foot lightly brushed up against mine again under the blanket. It gave me a warm shiver, but I fought not to pull my sock covered foot away from his touch. He sort of peeked over at me, and he smirked at me. “Sorry...”
“S’ok...” I said, trying to keep my nervous voice from squeaking involuntarily. And that’s when Steven came over and sat on the floor in front of us, allowing us to have the whole couch to ourselves, and a few other people joined him on the floor as the opening credits began to roll for the movie.
And all I could think about was how erect I was from having his foot touch mine. I don’t even think there was anything intimate about it. It just...felt cool. You know? It felt like magic to me. And while he turned his head to look at the screen...I took a look at him again, and felt my breath being ‘pushed’ out of me by the rapid beating of my overworked heart...and then I purposely let my foot brush up against his again. A long brush...all the way up from his perfect arch and up to his pretty toes. It was only for a brief moment, but this time...when he looked back at me with a sexy grin...
...I didn’t apologize...