Friday - Ahhhhhh!!! Ok, you wanna know something? Whether or not you really 'believe' in the concept of having 'gaydar'...I swear that I got smacked in the face with it harder today than I ever have before! Listen, lot's of other good stuff happened today too...and I would usually save this kinda stuff for later...
But.....AHHHHH!!!!! I've gotta talk about it RIGHT now! Hehehe! Seriously, it's got me feeling so WEIRD right now!
Ok, ok....so I went to Lee's house after school today. I was just gonna talk to him on the phone or whatever, but he insisted that I come over and just hang out anyway. I had homework and stuff that I had to do...actually, I still do...but you know Lee. Everything he does is adorable and melts my heart to the point where my common sense ceases to function properly. So fighting him on this was pretty damn pointless, you know? Anyway, so I go over to Lee's house, just to make sure that plans for my party are in order. Because planning a party is easy. Cancelling a party is the HARD part! Not to mention that you lose MAJOR popularity points for getting people psyched up for something that doesn't happen. Daniel Venorman did that a couple of months back with his big Halloween bash, and his reputation, like, NEVER recovered. He's like....playing tuba in the BAND now or something. Ugh!
So I go to the usual bus stop meeting place, go back to Lee's place, and he starts undressing in front of me again. Except this time...I'm staring HARDCORE at everything he's showing me! You know? His cute little stomach muscles, and his cute little nipples, and his cute little 'pouch' in his underwear, and his super hot little ass too! Now...Bobby Jinette still maintains the title for hottest EVER as far as hot boys are concerned! But Lee's ass is really narrow and slim and SUPER tight! It's like..an athlete's ass should be, but sooooo much softer and delicately built, because Lee's not really a 'sports and hustle' kinda guy. So yeah...I noticed that too. And he totally doesn't even mind me looking at him. He's, like, making conversation the whole time he's walking around half NAKED in front of me! He's SO fucking HOT when he wants to be! I was totally hard the whole time!
Ok, so, I'm asking him if he's sure this friend of his is cool with a total stranger having his birthday party at his house. And Lee is like, "Aww, you're not a stranger, Billy. I talked to him about you plenty before."
Which I thought was weird. So I was like, "Really?"
And he's like, "Of course. I talk about you all the time. You're, like...the most awesome person I know, Billy. Don't sweat it."
Now...understand something. Being the coolest person SIMON knows is one thing. Being the coolest person JIMMY knows is something else. But LEE??? I mean..LEE??? Having HIM say that about me was just about the most orgasmic compliment that I have ever gotten from ANYBODY! Just the fact that it came from HIM...it's like this super special anointment of the highest order, you know? Lee is the cutest boy ever, after all. Him thinking so highly of ME is like....insane.
So anyway, he totally calls this other boy over that has classes with him at his prep school. His name is Randall...and when I saw him...he was so OBVIOUSLY gay!!! Dude, I'm serious...he didn't come right out and SAY it, but omigod, just the way he talks and moves and stuff...he's GAY! I can TELL he's gay! And he's HOT! But he's GAY too! And my very first thoughts were...'How is Lee SUCH good friends with this gay boy, Randall?' I mean, first Jimmy gets to taste the most scrumptiously forbidden fruit on Earth, THEN he admits that he would 'definitely' want to fool around with me some time...and now that same supposedly STRAIGHT boy is being 'cool' with another gay kid? That doesn't add up at ALL!
Let's just look at the facts here, Lee is WAY too cool to be straight. I mean there isn't a testosterone crazed, aggressively potent, bone in his body. He's WAY too pretty and slight in build to be totally straight either. Lee is built like this really soft, rubbery and flexible homosexual fantasy, you know? And as gorgeous, charming, and friendly as he is...there is NO reason for him NOT to have a girlfriend! He should have TEN girlfriends, THIRTY mistresses, and HUNDREDS of other girls waiting in line! Not to mention the proverbial 'elephant in the room'...HE WILLINGLY HAD HOT PASSIONATE *SEX* WITH ANOTHER BOY!!!! Multiple times, no less! So yeah, enough said. He's GOT to be gay! And that excited me so much that I couldn't stop grinning the whole time that Randall was there. Hehehe!
He seemed really nice. Just....GAY! Hehehe! He kinda took to me right away, and he's almost as sweet as Lee. But not quite. Lee is an awful high standard to reach. He said his basement was huge, and it was wide open for me. No nasty neighbors either. I guess (and this is according to what Lee told me later) Randall's mom went 'batshit crazy' and was getting help. So Randall's two older brothers were basically his legal guardians now. And not only do they have parties all the time, but his brothers can get alcohol and stuff too. Now...I don't drink, but...hehehe, I don't know....this birthday might be something 'special'. Maybe I'll have a lot to celebrate if everything goes to plan.
Randall left after about 20 minutes, because he said he had to grab something to eat...but the second he left...I had this incredible urge to kiss Lee right on the mouth the second he closed the door. Oh wow...what if they're not just friends? What if he's like...Lee's 'relief' or something? Oh God, that's so hot!
Anyway, I had to kinda fight back the temptation by trying to avoid his eyes as much as possible. Awwwwww, I WANTED to kiss him but..things are going god with Brandon at the moment, and I don't wanna mess up again. I mean...last time I really fucked up because I didn't wait for what I really wanted. This time I've learned my lesson, and I'm doing it right.
But....mmmmmmmmmmph!!! I would totally eat that boy alive! Either ONE of them, to be honest!
Anyway, the reason I was thinking about Brandon was because we sorta had a...I don't know like...a moment, you know? See, I was talking to Sam in the hallway, who was feeling kinda down because him and Joanna seem to be having major issues at the moment. It's like...ever since the pregnancy scare, she's been avoiding him like the plague, and he can't understand why she won't just talk to him about it all. I tried to cheer him up a little, and he was smiling a bit and joking around, but I could tell that he was only doing it for my benefit. At this point, me and Sam kinda keep this telepathic link between us that can just tell. You know...when we're not distracted by everything else.
So, I'm talking to Sam...and I see Brandon walking down the hall. He kinda peeked at me a bit, and looked away, like he was gonna keep walking by with just a wave. Ugh! GOD! He's so SEXY when he's being shy! I totally say hello to him, and he slows down a bit, and kinda inches over to us like he's almost too bashful to speak. Hehehe, Brandon drives me crazy when he does that. Sighhhh....
Sam says hello, but the second I heard the 'weirdness' in his voice, I was suddenly struck with the realization that this time...Sam is TOTALLY aware that Brandon and I were, ummm....together. He instantly seemed a bit uncomfortable, but not with the fact that we had been boyfriends. I think it was more the fact that he had no idea what to say to either one of us at that point. Especially since he didn't know that we were even talking to one another. Thankfully, Sam was really NICE to Brandon this time. More so than he ever was before. And I think it put Brandon at ease. His smile was sooooooo beautiful once he got comfortable.
Brandon was like, "So...I got you a little something for your party on Monday."
And I said, "Awww, Brandon...I told you that you didn't have to do that. I just wanted you to come because...you know..." I almost didn't say it, but decided to go for it anyway. "..Because I miss you. I miss spending time with you." And then I smiled. And then HE. And then I smiled again! And then HE giggled! And then WE giggled together!
And then Sam was like, "Uhhhh, you know what? I've gotta run. So I'll talk to you later, K? Good seeing you, Brandon." It's funny, for a second, I kinda forgot that Sam was standing there. Hehehe, but what could I do? Brandon has that effect on me.
Brandon and I talked for a bit, and yeah...it was still kinda awkward because I'm not exactly sure where we stand. I mean...is the Stevie thing, like, 'over' or what? Are we talking, are we not talking, are we friends, are we more than friends, are we back together, are we trying to get back together...? ARRRGHHH! I couldn't TELL! But for those few chosen moments in the hallway...me and Brandon found something that we had both been missing for a long time Something that just....sighhhh...rejuvenated everything that was wrong with me, just by recapturing a glimpse of it in his bright hazel eyes. Those pretty pretty eyes that used to sparkle soooo affectionately whenever the words 'I love you' would travel softly from his lips to my ears. Wow...I really missed his love. I can't even put the feeling into words like I want to. But yeah...I missed it.
OH! OH! One more thing! Hehehe, and then I'll stop! Promise! I think I was feeling so good about talking to Brandon...that when I saw Jamie Cross later on in the day, hehehe, I actually took a deep breath and invited him to my party! I'm still wondering if he has any idea that I'm gay but if he does, he certainly didn't seem to let on. I said, "So yeah....the party's on Monday. Here's the address, k? You should come."
And he says, "I wouldn't miss it for the world. I actually heard from some other people that you were having a party, but I didn't wanna ask. You know? Just in case."
Just in case of WHAT??? Jamie Cross could be infected with RADIATION POISONING and the whole school would STILL welcome him with open arms. I was like, "I was kinda scared to ask. Because you know...you're cool." That's about as intentionally flirtatious as I could ever get with Jamie Cross. Like, ever. Anything more, and I would have melted into a puddle on the floor. Especially if he 'responded'.
Jamie smiled at me, and he was like, "Hehehe, you're starting to sound like your friend, Jimmy." And he BLUSHED! And Jimmy was right! It's the hottest thing in the WORLD to see Jamie's cheeks turn pink under that golden curtain of blond silk! Omigod...it was orgasmic!
I started giggling like an idiot, and just was like, "K...bye..." And I walked away from him. I don't know why I just cut our conversation short and just...LEFT him there, but I couldn't stand the wiggles inside for a second longer. Now that I look back on it, it must have looked awfully strange. But, whatever.He's coming to the party. That's all that matters. Hehehe! Ok, I'm outta here! I'll write more later.