- Sighhhhh....today was everything I had hoped that it would be. And MORE. Even though it started off 'horribly'...Brandon made it infinitely better. He always makes things better.
Basically, this morning was a total disaster. And it all started with a phone call. My dad evidently had some grand idea that he and I would spend some time together this weekend, and he wanted to come by and pick me up to take me out. I picked up the phone right after my mom did, and I was going to quietly hang up until I heard that it was my dad. So I covered the receiver with my hand and just listened in.
He basically asked if he could just come over and pick me up, but she was like, "You can't just suddenly 'decide' that you want to come over here and take Billy somewhere without asking me first. Suppose we had plans today?"
And he said, "You can't just horde him all to yourself. He's my son too, and I want to see him. I'm sure he wants to see me too."
So she says, "He doesn't want to see you. He has never asked me ONCE to come see you."
And he's like, "Well, that's no surprise."
And she's like, "What's that supposed to mean?"
So he's like, "I know you have probably made it a point to not speak too favorably about me to him around the house..."
And she interrupts with, "I have NEVER badmouthed you to Billy! Get off it! I don't do that!"
And he's like, "I'll just bet you make me the enemy in all this! I'm NOT the enemy! He's probably too intimidated to even bring up the subject around you. That's not fair to me, and it's not fair to him to have to be away from his father because his mother is being stubborn..."
She says, "This has NOTHING to do with me being stubborn! It has EVERYTHING to do with you calling out of the blue to just whisk him off to God knows where at the drop of a dime!"
And he's all, "I WANT to see MY son!"
And she says, "He's MY son! You gave up the right to call him your son when you walked out on us to go be with your other 'lady friend'! And while we're on the subject, I don't appreciate you parading her around in front of Billy the way you have been! What kind of values are you teaching him when you pull something like that?"
The rest kinda jumbled into an argument with both of them talking loudly at once, the aggression intensifying with every sentence, with them trying to get their point across while completely ignoring the other person's side of the argument. Finally, my dad said something that kinda scared me. He said, "You know...if I have to go through the legal system just to get visitation rights, I'll do it. I'm trying to be civil about this, but I'm not going to play this game with you every time I want to spend time with him."
What does THAT mean??? 'LEGAL SYSTEM'??? Wait!!!! Whoah! Stop the fucking PRESSES here!!! What the fuck is he TALKING about??? And further more...where is 'MY' say in who I want to spend time with and when??? Fuck the 'legal system'...I can spend time with whoever I WANT to spend time with! And right now, I don't want to be around either ONE of them! I got really fed up with them treating me like I was just some piece of property to be fought over like an old piece of furniture, and finally I just shouted into the phone, "You know, I DO have a life of my OWN, you know? It's not really YOURS to fight over!" And before they could recover from their shock, I slammed the phone down. Which only caused them to argue 'quietly' for another few minutes while I got my shoes on and enough cash to keep me busy until it was time to meet up with Brandon over at Bobby's house.
My mom tried to get my attention as I was walking out of the back door, but I just pretended not to hear her. If they can't get along with each other, then why bother trying to get along with me? To hell with them both. They can talk to me when they stop being babies and just learn to stop fighting over meaningless bullshit. My chest was quivering, but I couldn't tell if it was from anger, or from the fear of walking out. A part of me half expected my mom to reach out and snatch me back into the house through the window. But..she didn't say a word once I slammed the door shut. I don't know...maybe SHE was the one who was scared. I can't imagine it, but...I just didn't want to deal with that situation at the moment. I just...needed an escape. You know?
Anyway...like I said...it was an awesome day with my boyfriend regardless. DESPITE my parents' lame attempt to fucking RUIN everything this morning.
I didn't meet up with Brandon until, like, 2 o'clock. I had to pretty much roam the streets aimlessly to keep from going home and listening to my mom's latest 'we still love you, honey' speech. All while she tries to put forth some kind of useless effort to tell me not to worry about the fabric of my whole fucking FAMILY being ripped apart. But...whatever. The rest of this journal entry isn't about them....
The 'less' I think about them, the better.
When I first laid eyes on Brandon today, it was like the sun started shining just a little bit brighter. I swear that I could hear flowers growing around me when I walked in his direction! SERIOUSLY! Hehehe! His hair was still wet from his morning shower, practically dripping, and seeing those droplets of water roll down the side of his long sexy neck into the collar of his shirt was like...orgasmic. He smelled sooooo GOOD! Like fresh bread mixed with a hint of fresh made chocolate! Hehehe, it might be hard to imagine, but...it was a magical combination. And his eyes twinkled with the same brightness of his smile. I think he was the most beautiful creature in existence at that particular moment. It was an image that would be locked into my mind forever.
We said our bashful hellos, and Brandon was anxious, so we took the first bus we could catch to Bobby's house. We were just...so damn eager to start our afternoon together, that we couldn't stop giggling at each other in the back seat all the way there. Hell, even Bobby was happy to see us show up when he opened the door. It was weird, but, yeah...he was happy too! He kinda gave me a secret wink as I walked in the door, and while Brandon was walking in front of me, I think I felt Bobby's hand on my ass. But I couldn't be sure.
Actually, now that I think about it...I'm pretty sure. Who else would be grabbing my booty, right? The thing is, when Bobby went into the other room to grab his shoes, Brandon came close to me, a big smile on his face, and he kissed me on the lips. Right there in the middle of Bobby's bedroom. And I felt his tongue enter my mouth, and I just lightly closed my eyes and reached up to lovingly rub the back of his head and neck while we made out. God....that was awesome! You know, with all of Bobby's amazing sexual talents...NOBODY kisses like Brandon does! NOBODY! It literally takes your fucking breath away, while simultaneously making you weak in the knees. I could almost feel myself floating right off of the carpet. It was sooooo erotic, having his tongue slide against mine like that.
...When Bobby came back into the room and saw us making out...I don't know...I think it bugged him a little bit. He tried to smile and pretend that it didn't matter, but it was too late for him to hide it from me. I mean, just looking at his face, I could tell that it hurt him something awful to see me kissing somebody else. I hadn't really thought about...you know....him having actual 'feelings' for me. Well...I DID, kinda. But I was kinda hoping that we had worked that situation out already when I told him that I had a steady boyfriend. I mean...me and Bobby been together a few times, but..sex is just sex, right? I have sex with HIM and don't really get bothered by the idea of him with somebody else. Maybe it's just different on his end.
When I saw his reaction, I kinda backed away from Brandon and tried to sit down on his bed before Bobby saw how incredibly 'hard' I was from having my lips mashed up against his. I'm sure Bobby noticed my bulge, but maybe he was pretending not to. He kinda reminded us not to go through his stuff again and said to make sure that the windows were shut, just in case his neighbors heard any 'noises' or anything coming from in here. Then, just before leaving, he was like, "Billy...can you walk out with me and lock the door behind me?" Which I guess was a signal for me and him to talk. I followed him as Brandon kicked off his shoes, all smiling and ready to get started. I went to the back door with Bobby, and he looked at me with these sparkling eyes, and a sweet smile, and he sighed. It was almost kind sad. "Well...I guess you guys wanna be 'alone', huh?" Like...duh! "So...you're still coming over on Tuesday, right?"
Ugh! Does he really have to push this issue right NOW? "Yeah...Tuesday." I said.
He asked, "You promise, right? I mean, you're not gonna jerk out on me, are you?"
He was almost buckling at the knees from the sheer hope that I'd be there. What was I gonna say? I had my boyfriend undressing in the other room. "Yeah. I...I promise." The words just had a bad taste on the tip of my tongue when I spoke them aloud. It took some focus to push those bad feelings away again. That's when Bobby reached out, touching my arm lightly, and looking me in the eye like he wanted to kiss me right there in the doorway. I had to take a step back just to silently remind him that I was here on Brandon's time today. And even THAT seemed to sting his pride a little bit. I mean, he really didn't want to share me anymore. Like, at ALL! It was all fine and dandy when me and Bobby were rolling around naked and fucking like jack rabbits for hours on end. He had no problem telling me that me and Brandon could use his house when I was...you know...his. But every time it came time for him to pay up on his side of the deal...he always seemed to regret it. A LOT! And that's already telling me that I should probably get out of this arrangement a little bit sooner than I had originally intended. Because I don't know WHAT Bobby might do if he decides that he wants me all to himself one day.
Still...today was absolute MAGIC! When I got back into the room, Brandon was already down to his boxer briefs...jet black ones. Oh GOD...you should have seen hot hot those briefs made his package look! Especially when he was half hard and starting to poke them out in front. I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture and put it in this book! He was taking his socks off when I smiled at him and he blushed with a timid grin of his own. It made me remember exactly why he was number one pick. I mean, I was turned on, for sure...but Brandon actually made me nervous, you know? Like...the same feverish jitters that I used to get when I was still trying to figure out whether or not he even liked me. I wonder, does love feel like this ALL the time? It's gotta wear off eventually, right?
I walked over to him, and stopped him as he started to pull off his underwear. I liked them on him. And we rubbed our noses gently as Brandon smiled at me, and said, "You don't have any idea how hard it is to wait a whole week for you, Billy." And we kissed as he slid his arms around me, and let his hands run up under the back of my shirt. His touch was electric, and his fingers glided across my skin so softly. Again, I had to fight to maintain some level of steady breathing as his cushioned lips brought me to an entirely new level of living. We grinded our hips together softly in small circles, pushing our hard shafts against one another, and Brandon moaned lightly from the contact. The emotions that I felt at that moment nearly caused me to collapse, and I had to practically hold on to his broad shoulders for support. We melted into one another with our kiss, and I let one of my hands drop to grab and stroke his hardness lovingly. Brandon's hips thrust forward a bit, pushing against my palm as much as he could from that standing position, and his breathing got harder. I felt his tongue being pulled out of my mouth, and he leaned back a bit to whisper, "Don't you want me to take these off?"
And I looked down to see him super stiff and pulsing. And I'm like, "Hehehe, no. These are sexy." And I stretched my fingers out to kinda rub the whole thing at once, you know? He gasped at first, but then he giggled a bit too.
He's like, "Well, can you at least join me then? I'm feeling extremely underdressed here."
Omigod, can he be any CUTER? I'm like, "No that, I think I can do."
I got undressed too, all the way, and we went right back to kissing. This time even harder. We even spent some time just kissing each other on the neck and ears for a while. Which is majorly HOT when with you're with a cutie like Brandon. I don't know how long we went at it like that, but I eventually had to sink down lower and lower. I had to taste him. I HAD to! Like, right then! I rubbed my face back and forth across the front of his black boxer briefs, and just let his stiffy kinda bounce and strain against my lips and cheeks. I could feel the wetness at his tip seeping through the fabric, and I licked it up right through the material. Another big glob of it appeared twice as fast when I did it, and I licked it clean again. Brandon put his hands in my blond hair, and rolled his hips against my face. Dude...it was sooooo fucking HOT the way he did it! And I was running my hands up and down the back of his long thighs, and feeling the heated 'squish' of his balls on my lips. I felt like I was gonna literally pass out from it!
I think he got really sexually frustrated, because he started grinding harder into my face with this desperate little whimper, and he reached down to stretch the elastic of his underwear and free himself from their confines. His shaft was, like, almost totally pink...and it was pulsing and throbbing like crazy! So I licked it from the bottom to the top, and I took it all the way in to my mouth. GAWD, he tasted good!!! I literally almost had an orgasm when the heat of that smooth rod slid across my tongue! I rubbed his balls, I reached back between his legs to rub his hole, and I spent a lot of time rubbing the little space in between...which REALLY got Brandon up on his tip toes! I was whimpering, whining, and moaning, even more than he was from sucking him. I don't think I had ever put that much passion into anything before. I started sucking on the shaft like my life depended on it. His honey sweet flavor filled my mouth, and with every swallow of saliva, I got thirsty for more of it.
Brandon eventually got brittle in the knees, and he had been rocking from side to side on his tip toes for almost five minutes straight. So he backed up to the bed, and I came right along with him, trying to keep my mouth on him the whole way. As soon as he laid down on his back, and I started rubbing small circles on his flat tummy, he couldn't take anymore, and he exploded before I could catch it all in my mouth. He came a LOT that first time, and when I came up again, I looked at him with a smile. He was breathing hard, and his forehead had little beads of sweat on it. Then he opened his eyes, and looked at me to ask what I was smiling about. And I was like, "Damn, dude...you came a LOT that time!"
He laughed, and said, "Oh yeah? Show me the evidence." Totally knowing that I just SWALLOWED the evidence!
And that was how the afternoon started, and pretty much how it continued for the next few hours. I could honestly suck Brandon any time of the day or night. I wish sticking his dick in my mouth was as simple as getting up in the middle of the night for a glass of water. But you wanna know something weird? I think we only did it like three times today. Not that it matters really. But...I don't know...me and Bobby just kept going at it until we were both exhausted. But...with Brandon...there were these really sweet moments where we just...didn't do anything at all. I mean, we didn't kiss, we didn't fondle, we didn't even speak really. It was like...like it was erotic enough for the both of us to just 'exist' together for a few minutes. To just share heartbeats...and breathe...and...enjoy a sensual silence with one another. Every inch of him was so amazingly smooth, but he had these little boyish goose bumps from touching me. So the feeling of his naked leg sliding up against mine while we cuddled in Bobby's bed was like...incredible.
Anyway, we eventually had to leave before Bobby got home. I thought it would be sweet if Brandon and I could shower together before going home, but I was worried that if Bobby came back and caught us in the shower...he'd DEFINITELY be hurt by that one Especially since it was his idea that we do it in there....
...Sorry...just had to take a moment to think back to fucking Bobby's tight glistening ass in the shower the other day. Sighhh...ok. I'm done.
So Brandon and I get out of there, lock up, and get on the bus smelling like 'sex' on the ride home. Hehehe! Brandon was kinda worried that somebody was gonna just look at us and 'know', you know? Like...there would be a giant splash of semen on the back of our shoulder or something. Hahaha! We shared a laugh about it, and when he got off the bus, he said, "I love you, k? I mean it. I really...sighhh...REALLY love you, Billy." And I was left speechless when we went our separate ways. Speechless!
Yeah...that pretty much makes it official. There's never gonna be a replacement, a substitute, or even a close second place, for my sweetheart. I know I told Bobby that I wasn't gonna back out of our date on Tuesday, but I'm just gonna say no. I'm gonna...simply tell him 'hell no'. What's he gonna do, kill me? He'll be mad and hurt for a while, I'm sure. But if he's a true friend, he'll understand. I know he will.
In fact, I'm going to give Jimmy LaPlane a call tomorrow. Just to see what he thinks about Bobby Jinette. JUST to see what he thinks, you know? Who knows? Maybe they'll get together and have some hot sex too. I can definitely vouch for Bobby's skill in that area. And Jimmy's heart is so full of love to give, he couldn't possibly be anything but perfect for Bobby. So we'll see how it works out.
I've gotta go. I came home, haven't said anything other but hello to my mother since I stepped back in the house. She's been pretty much hiding in her room since I walked through the door. She didn't say anything to me about the fight or me walking out. To be honest, I find that kinda disturbing. I might be more at ease if she had jumped on me with a belt whipping and enough 'grounded' time to keep me locked down until I'm SUPER old! Like 30!
Maybe I dodged a bullet.
I'll write more later. And this kiss?
That's for you, Brandon. I love you too.