By the end of the school day, I was literally shivering with nervous jitters. I'm surprised that I was able to get my stomach to settle down enough to keep me from getting sick. Johnny met me at my locker, and he just kept...gabbing! Does Johnny always talk this much? I don't know. I was trying to get my thoughts in order, hoping to prepare myself for Chris' visit tonight...and every time I got a decent, focused, thought in my head...Johnny would say something about NOTHING and totally derail my train of thought! Does he not know how serious this is? Does he not understand the epic importance of having every last detail of this evening being absolutely perfect??? The mathematical formulas that NASA used for the first moon landing were less crucial! Dammit, dude...get on board! How can he be so 'casual' about this?
I really do have to come out to Johnny one of these days. I don't know how much more I can hide from him without coming off as some kind of basket case when it comes to boys like Chris. At least if I told him how hot I was for his body...he'd understand why I'm falling all to pieces right now.
I've got to breathe. I have to train myself to breathe...almost as if I've never done it before. I can't stop shaking. Why am I shaking??? What am I getting my hopes up for? He's not coming over to make out with me or anything. We're just watching movies together. And my mom will be up in the living room the whole time. And Johnny will probably do something annoying like sit between us on the couch so I can't be close to him. An unknowing chaperone on our first...date?
Ugh! My brain is trying to turn this into a date, isn't it? STOP it! I wouldn't be so damn nervous if I could just look at this as a friendly outing and not a promise for some big fantasy romance. Somehow, I can't see Chris Margo suddenly turning gay and falling for me over a couple of hidden gem horror movies.
It would be AWESOME if life was like that...but I'm not going to hold my breath, waiting for that kind of happy ending.
"You know what I bet he would like?" Johnny asked me, breaking my concentration again. "'No One Lives'! That movie fuckin' rocks, dude! Chris would go apeshit over that one if he hasn't seen it already."
"Yeah. That would be a cool idea..." I said. But I think Johnny could tell that I was distracted.
"You ok?" He asked.
"Huh? Yeah. I'm fine. I've just got stuff on my mind. That's all."
What the...? He wasn't supposed to ask me that! When somebody says they have something on their mind, you're supposed to leave it at that. It's, like...and 'escape phrase' that people use to keep from talking about stuff. Doesn't he have any sense of conversational etiquette?
"I don't know. Just...stuff."
"Stuff like what?"
"Forget about it. Geez! Just...bring the movie with you when you come over and we'll see if he's seen it already." I said.
"Alright. No need to get snippy." Johnny replied. I wasn't trying to be short with him, I just...I wish I had a way to make him understand how monumental this night was going to be for me. And he wasn't getting it. Like...at all.
We left school and I got home a bit earlier than normal. I actually went from one end of the house to the other, looking for anything that might be off or out of place. I even made sure to give my mom explicit directions on leaving us alone tonight while we were watching movies in the basement. Moms don't really mean to be corny and weird...but I don't think they can help themselves. The last thing I need is for her to try to act 'cool' in front of Chris Margo and end up humiliating me in the process.
I spent the next few hours trying to get my heart to calm itself down. It was pounding so hard in my chest that I could, literally, see my shirt vibrating from the impact of my vital organ slamming repeatedly against my ribs. My fingers felt numb and clumsy. My breath was short. And the anticipation of seeing Chris at my front door was making me a nervous wreck, winding me up until I was almost ready to snap!
And this is just a friendly get together to watch movies. Can you imagine what a mess I would be if he was my boyfriend? They'd have to lock me up somewhere if I gave myself over to that level of insanity.
Johnny came over just before six O'clock, and I tried to submit to the distraction from my infatuated thoughts as much as I could. But, in the back of my mind...all I could do is look at the clock on the wall and wonder...'when is he going to get here?' I swear, it was hard to sit still. I can't screw this up. I just...I have to be cool tonight. Like, the coolest person ever.
Steady, Andrew. Stay steady.
I felt my knee bouncing uncontrollably as the minutes ticked by. Closer and closer to the moment of truth. And then...finally...I heard the doorbell ring!
OMIGOD!!! Oh shit! Oh SHIT!!!
I thought I was ready! I'm not ready! Do I look ok? Is my house ok? Is the basement ok? Will my voice work properly when I speak to him? What do I do??? WHAT DO I DO???
I jumped up from the couch so fast that Johnny was nearly knocked over to the side and gave me the strangest look. "DUDE!!!"
"Shut up!" I said, and tried to force my feet to move forward so I could go upstairs and race to the door before my mom could get there and screw everything up.
As I was charging the door, I tried to take a few seconds to think bout how I would answer the door. What do I say? Hey? Hello? What's up? Welcome...come on in? I should have prepared better for this moment. Holy shit! This is an actual 'Andris' fanfic moment coming to life right now! I am seriously freaking the fuck out, here!
I cut my mom off before she could reach the door. "I GOT IT!!!" I hollered, getting a weird look from her as well as I practically 'hockey checked' her up against the wall. And then I stopped just inches from the door knob and took a deep breath, straightening my hair and my clothes out for a few seconds before getting the courage to open up.
Get it together, Andrew. We can do this.
I opened the door...and there he was. Chris Margo. Hazel eyes sparkling. Smiling at me with those cute dimples of his. The cutest shirt ever...and a friendly voice that gave me chills when I heard.
"Hey!" He said, and I swear...I thought I was going to faint. Jesus...I can't do this! I can't!
It HURTS to love him this much!
"Come...c-c-come in..." I said. Should I have said 'hi' first? Should I have said anything other than 'come in'? Am I doing this right?
The moment he stepped one foot inside my house, I marked it as a major milestone in my gay teen experience. He's here. He's officially standing inside of my house. The place where I eat and sleep and...masturbate furiously over fantasies of getting him naked so I could lick him all over until my tongue ran out of spit!
I'm trembling right now. I should collect myself and just...ugh! Dammit, Andrew! You're going to ruin everything! CHILL, already! He's just a boy! A...a gorgeous, sweet, undeniably sexy, boy.
God, he makes life so chaotic sometimes.
"I brought microwave popcorn. Extra buttery." He smiled. Oh God...that smile. That smile, alone, makes me feel like someone is lightly caressing my balls in my pants.
"Oh...cool." I said, hoping to keep my voice from nervously cracking in pitch. "Have you ever seen 'No One Lives'?" Wait...should I have built up to asking him that? That sounds a little weird, coming out of nowhere. Stupid!
"Have I seen what? Is that a movie?" He asked. Omigod, he's so cute. I can't believe he's talking to me right now!
"It's...yeah. Johnny brought it over. So we figured...maybe..." My words faded out into silence as I tried to look him in the eye. But i couldn't do it. Not for more than a few seconds. Chris' eyes are so beautiful. It's hard to not jump his bones and just start kissing him when you see them up close.
The moment was awkward. Awkward and uncomfortably silent. But Chris broke up the graceless moment by saying, "Ok. Well, I'd be happy to check it out. You guys are the experts, after all."
"Ok..." I said softly, not realizing that I was staring at him, dreamily, until he cleared his throat and casually looked away from me.
"Should I kick my shoes off, or...?"
I looked down and said, "Oh! Ummm...sure. If you want to." And he immediately took his shoes off and left them by the door. I'm sure he was just doing it to be polite or whatever, but...I mean...can socks be sexy? They're just white socks. But his naked feet were inside of them, right? I don't know...that made seeing his feet sexy to me. He doesn't have any shoes on. This is as close to 'naked' as Chris Margo has ever been in front of me. And it gave me a bad case of the wiggles to witness it, first hand.
"So, like...you guys didn't start without me, did you?" He smiled. And...FUCK...that smile! Sorry! I'm sorry! I'm under control. I swear.
"No way. We were waiting for you." I tried not to whimper, but my voice struggled to maintain a decent pitch.
"Ok then. Lead the way." He said.
"Uhhh...yeah. Sure. Right over here." I led him to the basement steps, and we went downstairs where Johnny was waiting with a cheerful greeting and a friendly fist bump. I should have thought of that. I wish I could be that relaxed when talking to the boy of my dreams...but...dammit, I'm still trying to process all of this.
Chris opened up his plastic bag of goodies, and he took a few movies out to show us. "This is just a few of the underrated movies that I've got to show you. It'll be so cool to share them with somebody, since most of the members of my family are so darned squeamish about stuff like this. Check these out!"
Johnny and Chris were looking at the movies and trying to pick which one we were going to watch first...but I didn't even realize that I was standing waaaay on the other side of the room until they both looked up and Johnny asked, "Dude...what's happening? Come over here and look at these."
Arrgh! I couldn't get my legs to move! I'm not used to being this close to him. I'm really just...terrified that I'm going to do or say something stupid. Then again...standing fifteen feet away from the two of them when I'm supposed to be calm and collected makes me look just as stupid. I swear...I can't win.
I stepped closer and attempted to put on a mask of normality. I hope it works.
"Is this the one you were talking about?" I asked. "The one with the zombies on the bullet train?"
"Omigod, yes! I love this flick! It's amazing, from beginning to end. You wanna watch this one first?"
Chris Margo turned to me to say those words, and I caught a whiff of his breath. Just...his boy breath was an intoxicating fragrance that nearly gave me an immediate erection. I stumbled over my own thoughts for a moment and said, "Sure. Yeah...let's...let's start with this one."
Johnny was like, "Wait, what about 'No One Lives'? I'm telling you...that movie is boss, dude!"
Arrrghhh! I flashed Johnny an angry look, which I'm sure he didn't see the need for...but I said, "I kinda wanna watch the zombie one first. We can get to that one afterwards." Johnny wrinkled his forehead a bit, baffled by my almost hostile reaction to his suggestion. But he shrugged his shoulders and submitted to the current game plan. "We'll watch your movie first, Chris..." I said, smiling.
"Cool. Do you guys want to pop the popcorn first? Movies are always better with popcorn." Chris said. "At least, for me they are."
Look at his...at his FACE!!! Christ! He's the most beautiful thing that has ever been in this house!
"Ok..." I said, my voice squeaking slightly. Not too badly...but noticeably. "I'll just...I'll take it up to the kitchen."
Chris handed me two packets of microwave popcorn, and our fingers almost touched! Not quite...but almost. Thank God, they didn't. I might have ejaculated in my pants if he made physical contact with me.
Fuck! I can't believe he's in my actual HOUSE right now! Why did I agree to this???
I hurried upstairs with the popcorn bags, glad to get enough distance away from the biggest crush of my life so I could actually get some oxygen in my lungs. But I was also worried that Johnny might say something embarrassing while I was gone, so I didn't want to stay away too long. I just...I felt like I was in this wildly spinning freefall with no hope of getting my bearings right on reality again. I was trying. I swear. My common sense was fully functional...but my hormonally challenged emotions was throwing a giant monkey wrench in the gears here. I could barely tell up from down...and I was dizzy with the sugary sweet shivers that seemed to be crawling all over me at the moment.
Chris Margo is in my basement. He's happy and smiling and SUPER cute...and he's waiting for me to come back downstairs with a bowl of hot popcorn any minute now.
None of my 'Andris' fanfics could ever TOUCH this level of hotness! And it's not for a lack of trying, believe me!
I was fidgeting the whole time the popcorn was bubbling up in the microwave, and then found a plastic bowl that my mom usually uses for her pasta salad to empty it into. Then I rushed back downstairs to hear Johnny and Chris talking about some of their favorite horror movies, and trying to find one that the other hadn't discovered yet. They seemed to be getting along great, so...that was definitely a bonus.
"Popcorn's ready..." I said.
"Sweet! Let's get things started!" Johnny grinned. and he popped the BluRay into the player for us to get the night in motion. Chris sat down in the middle of the couch, and I thanked the stars above for that decision. That means that he'd be between Johnny and me...and I could, like...feel his body heat beside me. Honestly, even though I wanted to be close to him more than anything in the world...I found myself sitting as far away from him as the couch expansion would allow. I, literally, had my ass crammed up against the arm of the couch so our legs wouldn't have to touch. I must have looked so stiff and rigid. But I didn't know if I could handle being in physical contact with him for any length of time. It was already hard enough trying to breathe in enough air to stay conscious around him.
Chris held the bowl of popcorn in his lap as the movie started, and I just...I felt my hands shaking as I reached for my first handful of popcorn. I mean...reaching into Chris Margo's lap for anything tasty seemed like a mortal sin to me. I mean...his DICK is under there! It feels like some sort of a brazen assault to put my hand in that bowl. But I did it for the sake of looking normal. Even though I got an erotic shiver racing up my spine every time I did it.
I was almost annoyed by the fact that Johnny was being so cool about this. I need to get my shit together. I really do.
Shit! My leg just touched Chris' leg!!!
I didn't mean to do that! I was just spreading my legs a bit, and mine touched his. Sort of up by the knee. Is he mad at me? He didn't even seem to notice. But I noticed. BELIEVE ME, I noticed!
Chris just kept eating popcorn, and to be honest, I was sort of upset that the smell of the buttery snack was masking the sweet boyish fragrance of Chris Margo while he was sitting next to me. I can't explain what he smells like with everyday words that us humans use to describe things...but it's soooo enchanting. I find myself just wishing that I could lean over and inhale the sensual aroma from the nape of his smooth, flawless, neck. I looked down to just...stare at his arm. Are arms sexy? I don't know. Chris Margo's arms are sexy. I'm so upside down over this boy.
Remember to breathe, Andrew! Ugh!
Over the next few minutes, I tried to hide my constant surveillance of the beauty sitting beside me. I even let my leg touch his a few times...but timidly...and only for a few seconds at a time. It was hard to keep from giggling out loud. Impossible to keep a giddy little grin from bursting out on my face every few seconds. But I did my best.
Chris Margo is in my house. In my basement. Watching a movie with me and my best friend. This is actually happening right now.
Omigod, how am I not crying tears of joy right now?
I like the way Chris chews his popcorn. I like hearing the muffled crunch of it. I like the subtle gyrations of his beautiful lips as he mashes everything together. And sometimes, he raises his hand up to his mouth to suck some of the excess butter off of his fingertips. Ohhhhh...if only you could see it. Those sweet, pinkish, lips and wet tongue...sucking the shiny residue off of those long, thin, fingers. It's a religious experience.
It was at that moment, that Chris caught me gazing at him like some sort of lovestruck idiot. And he just smiled at me. He didn't say anything...just smiled!
Oh God! OH GOD!!! I think I'm getting the hardest boner of my whole entire LIFE right now!
I need to get out of here! I need to...I've got to...UGH! I can't take anymore! I need to get away!
Sweet Lord in Heaven...help me get away!!!