My legs were strong, but my knees were weak.
My feet were steady, but my ankles were loose and clumsy.
I was standing on solid ground, sure enough...but my head was so far in the clouds that the weightlessness made it difficult to walk at all...not knowing if I was suddenly going to fall, face first, into the dirt...or float away into the blue skies above. It took a few odd looks from other cast members and set workers to realize that I was grinning from ear to ear like some sort of child cannibal fresh off of a late afternoon meal.
He loves me. Greyson loves me. I heard him say it. And the best part is...while this may seem like it's the 'goal' that I had been trying to reach, the success that I had been hoping to achieve from day one...this was far from being the end of this mind-blowing journey towards having my very first boyfriend.
If anything...it felt like this was only the beginning! And that left me wondering where things were going to go from here. I mean, what's next, you know? Would I be insane if I said that I wanted to keep my Greyson close to my heart forever and always? That I could see myself kissing and snuggling and sharing one hearty laugh after another with him for the rest of our days on this Earth? Hehehe, I don't know! Any other time, something like that, so quickly and easily attained, would have sounded absurd to me. But hearing those words...even over the phone..."I love you, Evan"...It makes anything and everything seem possible. Being away from him now seemed like such a pointless waste of time. Am I being weird about that? I don't feel weird. Anxious is what I feel. Anxious, and excited, and...and PROUD! Hehehe! I'm Greyson Chance's first boyfriend. His FIRST! Nobody is ever going to be able to take that title away from me. No one else can ever make the same claim without being a total liar. And once I'm done here today...once I leave this set...I'm going to go to that boy's hotel room and tangle myself up in his arms and legs, aggressively tongue kissing him until neither one of us can BEAR to keep our clothes on anymore!
Hehehe...I can practically see Greyson's blush now in my mind from all the naughty images I had flashing behind my eyes. I need to get out of here. I need to be near him again. I don't care what I have to do, I just want to see my boyfriend. It's like there's this gigantic, super thick, rubber band wrapped around our waists right now...and the more 'life' and its many mundane tasks tries to pull us apart, the stronger the pressure gets to snap us back together again. I can feel that stretch. I can feel it. And it sucks!
Fuck! It sucks so BAD!
The moment that I stepped one foot on set, I had two guys and a girl pouncing on me with make up brushes, small bags of dirt to smudge on my face and clothes, and a spray bottle full of simulated sweat. Sometimes they don't really give you much warning. You just get used to spreading your arms out, tilting your head back so your chin is raised, and surrendering to the moment while they do their best to fix everything that's wrong with you. Even if you didn't think there was much wrong with you in the first place.
A few spritzes here, a couple of well placed smudges there, and I was back in my zombie apocalypse mode. At least for the next scene, anyway.
My mom was off to the side somewhere, reading one of her mystery novels to pass the time. I'm sure she gets bored hanging around the set all day without having anything to do, but the studios kind of require her to be there. I guess so they can legally say that I have a guardian within arms reach, just in case I'm secretly having cocaine parties off camera while we're filming. Of course, with everything that Chandler and Asa have been getting up to when they weren't on the clock...I think a cocaine binge would seem a bit tame in comparison.
I looked down into the dirt to see where my marks were, and where Asa's and Chandler's would be in this next scene. It looked like they had changed them a bit from what I remembered. Nothing out of the ordinary. They change stuff all the time at the last minute. A thick cloud could pass overhead and ruin the lighting scheme for the whole shoot. There's no planning ahead for that. But I found it a little bit odd that Asa was pulling his shirt off, and one of his groomers was neatly wrapping it around his head. When I took a closer look, I noticed that Chandler had his shirt off too. He was leaning up against a nearby trailer, a flirty grin on his face as he quietly leaned in to talk to Mingus a bit more. I think Mingus was a bit uncomfortable though. Curious, perhaps...but uncomfortable with admitting that just yet.
"Evan, need to talk to you for a second, bro." Said someone handing me a slightly altered script. "We made a few minor changes here and there, nothing to be worried about, just tweaks and tucks for the dialogue in this scene. Take note of your marks, we'll do a few run-throughs first to get everything looking smooth and natural, ok?" There was a brief pause, then he says, "Oh...and also, while you guys are doing the digging with the shovels and all...ummm, Asa and Chandler have decided to do the scene shirtless. So...yeah. They're doing the scene shirtless." He looked at me with a bit of a nod, and then just sort of stood there. Almost as if he was waiting for me to say something.
"Yes. Well, they ran it by the director, he likes the idea and decided it would look good on camera. Fits in with the story, the intense heat and all. Plus it's a little thrill for the Chandler fans out there. Fangirls will love it." He said. Then there was another brief pause. "Ok, soooo...that's it. You three guys in the scene. Just Asa, and Chandler...and you. So do you need anything, or?"
I gave him a sideways look. "Are you saying that I should take my shirt off...?"
"No! No way!" He blurted out. "I mean, if you wanted to do it for the scene that's up to you. I was just trying to inform you of some of the changes."
"So I should take my shirt off then."
"I did not say that. Nobody's saying that." He claimed, a fake chuckle following his statement. "No no, saying stuff like that to actors on a set leads to, hehehe, tabloid rumors and...possible lawsuits. And lawsuits are bad! I'm merely informing you of your options as to how to play the scene as an integrated part of the narrative."
"And in layman's terms?" I asked.
"In layman's terms...the director is looking for solidarity. So...if Asa has his shirt off, and Chandler has his shirt off...?" He cringed when he said it, holding his breath as he waited for me to give him an answer.
I looked over at where Asa was standing, grabbing one of the prop shovels and getting into position in front of the cameras. His blue pearls glanced up at me for a moment, and as a devious little smirk appeared on his lips, he gave me a wink. Almost as if to taunt me.
But you know what? I'm not worried. What am I so nervous about? I've got a boyfriend. Not a fantasy, not a sex partner...a boyfriend. Greyson is my one and only sweetheart and I'm not even remotely tempted to spoil that now. Besides, less than an hour ago I had Asa Butterfield sucking on my earlobe while Chandler stroked my boner with his foot in my lap! If I can walk away from that situation and not totally lose it, then I can withstand pretty much anything. I'm not going to let him tease me into submission. I refuse.
"Yeah. Ok. That's fine. Let's do it." I said, more determined than ever to prove that I couldn't be compromised.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you! It'll look great!" He said. Then shouted out, "Delores! We need you over here for wardrobe." He looked back at me and said, "She's going to get you a head wrap and a misting. Study the changes, especially page 7, and we'll be ready to roll in no time."
"Yep. K." I said, and started pulling my shirt up over my head. It's no big deal. It's not like he asked me to run stark naked through a swarm of bees or anything. What kind of irked me, however, is the way Asa set it up so we'd all be filming this way. Something just tells me that, while Chandler might be a more than willing accomplice, Asa is the mastermind behind all this.
Fine. We can make a game out of this if that's how they want to play. The harder they push, the harder I'll push back. I'm no scaredy cat.
They do look awfully hot without their shirts on though. Just...just saying.
As Delores gently covered my head with my shirt, allowing some of my blond locks to show a little on the sides, she began working her magic to tie it into an expert knot that wouldn't bulge and wouldn't untangle while filming. She did it so fast and so easy that it almost seemed like a super power of sorts. She gave my chest a few sprays and muddied me up a little bit to make it look like I was involved in a day's worth of labor, and I couldn't help but to feel a little 'exposed' out there. Don't get me wrong, I don't usually spend a whole lot of time staring in the mirror and picking myself apart at home. But on set? With like...a million people walking around and fans watching from the sidelines? I just felt a little naked. And scrawny. And maybe a little bit pale. And no abs. Asa has abs. Look at him. He's even got that hot little 'V' line reaching down into his pants from either side of his shallow belly button. And did you know that Chandler has a sprinkling of freckles on each shoulder. Just a few, a little darker now that he's been in the sun for a while. But it's cute. There are some on his neck too.
Ugh! You SEE? This is how they get me to stare at them! And how they get to stare at me too. It's a trap, I tell you!
I was called to my mark, I finished studying my extra dialogue, and I looked Asa directly in his eye to silently tell him that I wasn't budging. I'm not going to let him get to me. Not today.
Chandler walked up with a bottle of water and his eyes looked me over. "Looking good." He smiled. We were all standing pretty close together, but when Chandler pretended to turn towards Asa...and the ice cold side of his water bottle slid over my left nipple...I knew that he did it on purpose. He had to. "Oops. Sorry." They both giggled at me, but I stood my ground, orgasmic chill and all.
"Alright, places everybody. Rolling in ten. You boys just start digging and we'll pan over to you from the right." Our director said.
Both Asa and Chandler grinned at me, but I didn't pay it much attention. "You know we're just giving ya grief, right?" Asa said.
"Yeah. It's cool." I replied. I didn't look back at him. The last thing I needed was to fall prey to the hypnotic effect of those bright blue eyes reflecting the Summer sun. Not to mention that the few peeks I absentmindedly took of Asa's naked torso seemed to be glistening with a thin layer of sweat, an occasional 'tear' of perspiration rolling down the side of his neck. Don't judge me, ok??? I'm faithful...but I'm only human! And gay! And a teenager! So sue me.
A moment later? "ACTION!"
Five minutes after that, "CUT!"
Two minutes to readjust. Two minutes to get the talent ready. "Annnnnnd ACTION!"
Twelve minutes after that? "Cut! Check dailies. I think I like that one. Come look at this..."
I felt like such a little twerp, my arms already shaking from having to dig up dirt through the last few scenes. Already my shoulders were beginning to feel sore, and my lower back ached from the activity. But I tried to stretch it out as best as I could so I could look fresh and ready to perform for the cameras again once they started rolling. I definitely won't have to use much acting ability to look worn out on film, that's for sure.
Note to self...'dirt is heavy'.
Chandler saw me breathing hard and walked over to me between takes. I felt the smoothness of his skin as he put his bare arm on me and rested his chin on my shoulder. "Not much difference in pretending to work hard and actually working hard, is there? Hehehe!" He said.
His long hair brushed softly up against my cheek. His breath...I could almost taste it on my lips. "I hope we don't have too many more takes of this." I said.
"Who knows? Might be two more takes, might be ten. Believe me, I know how it sucks sometimes. A few years back, I spent half the season gardening. I had to rub my arms down with sports crème every night just to make sure that I'd be able to come back to the set and do it all over again the next day."
"Heh...yeah. I um...I can imagine." I said. Then, as things suddenly fell quiet, I turned my head to see Chandler's head staring down at my exposed torso. Practically trying to mentally pry the waistline of my pants open so he could look down and see what was in there. His gaze snapped back up to meet mine, and he smiled as those liquid blue pools of brilliance burrowed an effortless hole right through my common sense. I actually got a few goosebumps when he licked his lips. He was close. I mean...really close. Had he extended his pink tongue much further, he might have been able to lick my lips too.
Once I found the strength to look away from him, hoping that the tension would melt away before the director called for action again, Chandler giggled sweetly to himself. He's said, "You know...the whole shirtless thing was Asa's idea. I had nothing to do with it." SEE??? I knew it Asa! I just knew it! "Honestly, I think I've been shirtless maybe twice the whole time 'The Walking Dead' has been on television. So it's not like I'm suddenly going to end up being a Bieber-Girl's dream boy or anything. At least, I don't think so." Then he stepped to the side, pressing his soft, warm, cheek against mine as he hugged me close. A little damp with sweat, but not gross. God, even his sweat smells good. "Now Asa over here, as mischievous as he is, probably has his own reasons for making the play. And for once, it wasn't just to get you and me half naked. Hehehe!"
Asa was within earshot, and playfully gave us the middle finger as he guzzled down a watermelon Gatorade.
"Yeah, I don't think the typical rain and fog of London prepared our boy for a Summer here in Atlanta. If it keeps being this warm, he may just have to convince the director to shoot the rest of this season barefoot, wearing a loincloth." Chandler snickered.
Ummm...I'd definitely watch that!
"Alright boys! You ready? We need a few more takes for safe measure. you're doing great." The director said. Great. More digging. If I keep shoveling dirt like this for much longer, I'm not going to have enough breath to deliver my lines. Geez, you never know how out of shape you are until you have to engage in an unfamiliar activity like this.
Yikes, I feel like an old man right now.
"And CUT! Alright, I think we've got enough." Came the call about twenty minutes later. "You kids stay put for a little while. I don't want any of you to wander off yet, just in case we need some reshoots. But I think we got it. Take a break, alright."
A break. Yes...a break would be nice. My biceps went from trembling, to pain, to just being numb. I just let them hang limply from my sides like a couple of wet noodles as I hurried off set to go see my mom. She was surprised by my armless hug. Hehehe, which just consisted of me whimpering helplessly and resting my head on her chest while my arms dangled freely in her embrace.
My mom was tickled pink. "Hahaha, are they working my sweetie too hard?"
"Owwwwww, mommy...I hurt. I hurt a bunch." I whined with a giggle.
"Awww, poor baby.Well, once they're done with you for the day, we'll get some protein in you and you can take a hot bath and relax. Maybe we can grab a few movies and some popcorn and make a night of it, huh? What do you say?"
It actually sounded pretty good, to be honest, but...I didn't want to agree to it just yet.
"Ummm, can I call my friend first? I just want to check something out first." I said.
"Oh...well, do you need another shirt, or do you want to take that one off your head?"
I backed away. "No way! I don't even know how that lady wrapped this thing up the way she did, but if they call me back to reshoot the scene, I doubt I'll be able to duplicate it without a degree in physics or something."
"Ok." She said. "Go ahead and make your phone call."
"Sweet. Where's the car again? Did you put it on the set lot or...?"
"It's right where it always is, hon."
"Alright! Sweet! I'll be back!" I said, happily trotting off to see if maybe I could finally talk to Greyson in private. Well, in more private. Without looking over my shoulder.
I was already listening to the sound of Greyson's phone ringing by the time I unlocked the car door and climbed into the driver's seat. Even in this heat, I didn't mind having the windows rolled up. I just...I needed a 'barrier' in place to isolate me from the world for a bit. Just so we could be together for a little while. My 'boyfriend' and I.
"Hey!" He said when he picked up. "Wow, I was just thinking about you."
We both shared a light giggle over it, and I was like, "You were?"
He sheepishly replied with, "Yeah. I was in the shower, so..."
"Hehehe, that sounds yummy." I told him.
"Well, let's just say that it was nice, long, shower. So..." He didn't go any further with that comment, but I knew what he meant. "What's up? What are you bugging me for?"
With a chuckle, I said, "I was thinking that...maybe I could come over for a little while. Like...tonight." I felt bold in saying it at first, but the moment I heard my own voice saying it out loud, I felt the immediate need to pad it with a more nonchalant expression of my eagerness to be near him again. "Or, you know...whatever. It's no big deal, just...if you're not busy or anything..."
"Really? Like, right now, or...?"
"Well, I've gotta stick around the set for a little bit until they get the dailies sorted out. But after that...?" Take a deep breath, Evan. How hard is this? Just say how you feel. "I'd really like to see you again. I want us to spend some more time together. I think that would be...nice."
Greyson giggled in the cutest way. "I see. So you wanna call me when you get off set? You wanna come over."
"Hehehe, I do." I said, then sliding in the flirtatious, "I miss you. I feel like my love for you has to stretch so far sometimes."
Greyson melted instantly.
"Me too." He said. "Just call me when you're ready. K?"
"Then I can come over?"
"You can cum all over my face." He said, but couldn't hold in his cackling laughter for more than a few seconds. Hell, neither could I. A gasp of utter shock only lasts so long.
"Greyson!!! Omigod! Hehehe!"
"What? What'd I say?"
"You know what you said!" I snickered.
"So? I have a naughty side too, ya know?"
"Apparently. Geez, I don't even know you. Put Chance LeGrey back on the phone!" I told him, making him laugh out loud.
"You know...if you keep making fun of me I'm not gonna let you come over. I'll tell security you're a stalker and they'll beat you up as soon as you get here."
I said, "Yikes! You're such a bully." Then I added, "But I love you anyway, so..."
I drifted off mid-sentence, but was super psyched when he said, "I love you too." I think we both needed to take a few deep breaths before we were able to speak again. And he started it off by saying, "I've still got amazing room service. We can pretty much have anything we want, from burgers and fries to ice cream and cookies. We can even have them make us a nice thick steak if that's what you're into. Sky's the limit. Whatever you want."
As awesome as that sounded...my heart spoke for me before my brain even figured out what to say. "All I want is you." It was a small collection of words that had been ripped from my infatuated heart so fast that I could feel the lingering tug on my emotions once the message had been delivered.
It surprised us both.
And with an almost inaudible sniffle, Greyson said, "M'kay. I'll see you when you get here then."
"K. Talk to you then."
I didn't want to drop another love bomb on him again before hanging up. I thought it might sound corny. But...Greyson to the rescue!
"I love you, Evan. K? Bye."
Awww, I wanted to say something back! But Greyson gets so nervous when he says the words out loud! Hehehe, I heard a click before I could respond. It's okay though. I'll tell him face to face as soon as I see him again. You know...while I'm violently tearing his clothes off of him! Hehehe!
Sorry, Mom...but movies and popcorn are going to have to wait for now!
'Boy date', CONFIRMED!!!