I know that he watches me...
I've seen him doing it...more than once. And you know what?
I kinda watch him too.
I mean, if I had to be totally honest...that has probably been the biggest thrill of this silent little game that we play almost five days out of an average week. Despite his parents and mine doing the 'friendly neighbor' thing...we've never officially met one another, seeing as I only moved next door to him about three months ago...but I'm thinking that maybe that's a part of the eroticism too. Because there's just something so sexy about being someone else's fantasy. Their pleasure center. The vision that that they jack off to when they think nobody is watching. For Jacob...the super cute boy that lives in the house next door to me...that's exactly what I am. That's how he sees me. A boy of sixteen, looking at my early blossoming thirteen year old development, or lack thereof...and finding something truly arousing about me and my nightly activities before bed. I used to be so embarrassed and ashamed about what I was doing in the dark, once I found out how to stimulate myself and bring myself to an explosive orgasm all on my own without having to, like...find the courage to get myself an actual partner to do it for me. When you're gay and still in middle school...the idea of being exposed to all of your peers for being...'weird'...well, it's a frightening concept. I mean, how do boys my age even approach other boys for something like...what I desperately want from them when I'm dreaming at night and wake up with a mess to hide from my mom. I, obviously, can't just walk up to the cutest boy in class and say, "Hi, my name is Jody. Do you mind if I get on my knees and suck your hot and delicious penis into my mouth until you whimper and spasm and explode with volumes of your tasty boy seed? I'll swallow it all! Promise!" I mean...it would make for a hot and naughty story online, I guess. But that's not exactly how things work around here. Or anywhere, for that matter.
I have to be careful when it comes to the things that my peers know about me. I know that old people think that reputation and gossip and social standing don't really mean all that much...but I don't get their point of view at all. How can you NOT be affected by the way that every single person that you interact with on a daily basis sees you? Thinks about you? TALKS about you?
I once got caught staring at Robby Belenski's penis at Summer camp...and all of the other kids called me a fag for two WEEKS after that! I had to literally take Wendy Schumer on a date to the movies and kiss her on the lips in front of everybody to get them to stop accusing me of being gay. Ugh! I didn't want to do it...but it felt like this whole 'gay' rumor thing was on its way to ruining my life forever. I didn't mean to stare at Robby Belenski's dick, ok? I was just...fascinated by the fact that it was uncut. It's Chicago! Everybody is cut! I never saw foreskin on another boy before, especially a cute one like Robby. It was kind of...kind of hot! You know? I started salivating the second that I caught a glimpse of it. I wanted it in my mouth...like...immediately.
But...again...this is what gay boys deal with on a daily basis at my age. Faded dreams and nonsensical fantasies about things that we'll never have in life. Not ever. Way to go, Jody...congrats on screwing yourself out of any level of happiness or sexual gratification between now and the day that you finally die of loneliness. I feel so damn weird sometimes.
But...that's where Jacob comes in...
It was a hot day during the Summer when I left my window open in my bedroom. My fan was on, but it was basically just circulating a bunch of hot air around me, so whatever breeze that I could get through my bedroom curtains was a welcome relief. I was just coming back from the mall, and I saw Nathan Ritter from school shopping for video games or something that you never expect extremely gorgeous boys like him to just 'do' on a whim, you know? It's almost insulting to think that he imagines himself as being somewhat normal among the rest of us. Anyway, I didn't expect to have any interaction with him that day, but I did. I mean, he actually spoke to me! He knew my name and everything! Do you have any idea how outrageously HOT Nathan Ritter is??? Just blond and sweet and yummy beyond all description! So, there was no way that I was going to come home while my parents were gone and not jack off to visions of having that boy fuck me silly while he was still fresh in my mind. I mean...come on! It's Nathan Ritter! He's lucky that I didn't bust a nut all over his leg while he was flashing me that sexy, dimpled, smile of his right there in the mall.
Luckily, I made it home to commit the ultimate sin without having him know about it. Hehehe...because I am a gentleman, after all, right?
Anyway, my bedroom window was open...and the window was sort of blowing the curtains around a bit at random...so when I rushed into my room and quickly shoved my pants down to my ankles, my erection at full hardness, throbbing madly as it demanded a release from its overwhelming arousal before the ache of being so stiff made me sore beyond belief...I didn't really take any precautions to prevent me from getting caught. I mean, doing the 'nasty' was the only thing on my mind at that moment. Everything else was like a muffled lecture of random bullshit in the back of my mind. I was SO horny! I mean...fuck! Nathan Ritter!!! What the hell, man??? He's the hottest boy in the eight grade...and he smiled at me! At ME!!!
So, I stepped down on my jeans to get my ankles and feet free from them, and I lowered my light blue briefs, already stained with some of my earlier leakings as I waited to get home and find myself some privacy...the fabric a darker shade as the sticky liquid poured into it in copious amounts. I've only been able to squirt anything worth mentioning for a couple of months now...but it felt soooo good when I did. How did I live without masturbation before I knew how to do it right? It's like...five quick minutes to reach Nirvana and experience world peace! It's short lived, sure...but it's not like I can't do it again in a few minutes...so I'll take it. Oh God! I couldn't WAIT to touch myself that day!
Once I got myself completely naked from the waist down, with only my bright red T-shirt on....hard as a fucking rock...and I flopped back on my bed to spread my thin, hairless, legs wide and finally take a firm grip of my hard shaft and give it those first few strokes...I just closed my eyes and let out a soft sigh of relief. I'm really surprised that I didn't cum right away. I sort of have a hair trigger when it comes to me getting off over certain boys, Nathan being one of them. I can't say that I've truly become a master of my domain just yet, but I'm learning quickly. I've even learned to so extend the pleasure for a few more seconds by taking myself to the very edge of exploding, and then slowing down a bit to enjoy the euphoric feeling of 'imaginary sex' for longer than I usually would...making a hot and sticky series of wet stripes all over my belly and chest within the first couple of minutes. I'm still learning to prolong the intensity of it all, though. I'm still trying to get the balance right. Sometimes I can't stop myself from cumming, or I try to put it off, and I grasp my shaft and squeeze really hard to keep it from erupting before I'm ready to stop...but by then it's already too late. Dangit! Once you pass the point of no return, you just can't hold it, ya know? Your head gets all dizzy and weird...and the tighter your grip on your erection, the harder your climax pushes its way through to giving you the wiggles and throbbing and pulsing to the point where your penis just starts spewing hot cum everywhere and it runs all over the back of your hand and your knuckles until it puddles up on your belly, and you have to hurry up and catch your breath so you can clean it all up with a tissue before it gets all cold and clumpy on you..
I know that it's kind of sloppy and weird to some people, but I think I've kind of learned to like it that way. I tend to cum a lot and really hard when I'm really turned on, and there's just something really sensual about the whole experience. Every orgasm is different for me. I guess it depends on who I'm thinking about at the time. Some boys from school make me really HORNY, you know? I just...I wish I could have some actual, physical, sex with the boys that I fantasize about the most. I really do. It sucks that I don't really have a chance with most of them, seeing as they like girls and all...but I can't stop thinking about how awesome they would taste if I could just get my virgin lips wrapped around their hard shafts and lick and bob and stroke them off until they bursted a hot load of sexy nectar into my mouth, so I could swallow it down and make them beg to come back for more! You know? Oh, god...I'm getting myself all hot and bothered again!
So, I lay back on my bed, and I grip my hard on, and start to really get into the idea of kissing Nathan Ritter and having him lay on top of me and stuff, right? And I'm jacking off like crazy, and moaning a little bit, because I'm so breathlessly lost in the moment...and then, purely by accident...I happen to look out of my bedroom window...and I see Jacob watching me from his bedroom window, next door.
My initial response was to immediately cringe and race to cover up, scrambling to shield my hard erection from his view and maneuver my way over to the window to close the shade and keep him from seeing anything more.
My heart was pounding. Fear, soon giving way to an intense feeling of unfathomable shame! I mean...did shutting the shade really do anything more than make me look more guilty than I already was for touching myself this way? Jacob already saw me. He knows now. Fully aware of what I do in my bedroom when nobody is watching. Oh God...I'm never going to be able to look him in the eye ever again without wondering whether or not he's laughing at me behind my back. I was sure that he was going to tell somebody. Let them know what a dirty pig I was for giving into temptation. And the worst part was...I hadn't even orgasmed yet. So I was still super hard and horny. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! That's what I said to myself that first day, pounding the sides of my head and just hoping that he didn't tease me about it in public, or...God forbid...tell my parents!
I couldn't bear that! Not at all. I'd have to run away from home and become a hermit, living on scraps of dumpster food under a local bridge somewhere if it came to having my mom looking at me like that. There's no WAY that I could continue to live in this house if my mom and dad knew that I was being...'naughty' outside of their direct supervision.
But...even though I tried my very best to totally avoid crossing paths with Jacob for almost an entire week afterward...which is pretty damned difficult when the person you want to hide from lives next door...I did see him one night after dinner as I was taking out the trash. I guess he was grabbing something out of his garage at the time, and he sort of looked at me. Still humiliated beyond belief, I just looked away and tried to put the trash in the trashcan before he had a chance to make me feel like a total pervert for catching me in the act for touching myself. But...you know what? He didn't. Like...not at all.
In fact, I didn't even realize that he knew my name until he was like, "Hey, Jody. I haven't seen you in a while. What's up?"
Was it a trap? I mean...it could be hard to tell. He might be setting me up for a serious burn or something. Right?
"Hi..." I whispered, having to clear my throat and speak up a little bit to say it again a bit louder so he could hear me.
He probably didn't think that I noticed his cheeks turning red with the cutest blush...but I totally did. I was a bit confused by it at first...but then he smiled, and kind of avoided my eyes for a moment. Then he looked back at me, and our eyes connected for an extended moment. There didn't seem to be anything malicious or embarrassing about it. If anything, our eye contact started to make me hard right there by the garbage can.
"I should...I mean...I've gotta go..." I said with a bit of an adolescent squeak, timidly turning around to hurry back towards my back door. But, when I looked back over my shoulder, Jacob was still standing there, sort of smiling at me. Watching me.
He said, "It's good to see you, Jody." And he gave me this smirk that almost seemed kind of flirtatious in nature. I thought I was just imagining it at first, but I guess I know better now.
I couldn't keep him out of my head. It was like I was getting a boner started every fifteen minutes after having him smile at me like that. I wasn't even thinking about anything sexual, he's just...he's cute, you know? Really cute. And he's taller than me...with some muscle definition on his arms. Nothing bulky, but...you can't help but to notice. I've never been able to do a single pull up with my puny little arms, but he looks like he could pull off 50 pull ups without much effort at all. Which might be fun to watch, you know? And he has these really hypnotic, dark brown, eyes...that just kind of overwhelm you sometimes. They're really cute. I figured that he'd look at me as some sort of a 'baby', waifish and scrawny in comparison to his athletic majesty. But...he still seemed really nice to me. Our interactions were shy and super brief...but I can't say that he ever gave me any reason to think of him as some sort of a bully or anything. Jacob was just...extremely sweet, you know?
That night, I was super careful to close my window, and the shade, AND the curtain! I didn't want to get caught again. But I couldn't just stop touching myself. As hard and horny as I was, I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink until I came at least once before bed. At this point, jacking off was like my after dinner mint in a fine restaurant. It was a part of my daily routine. I may forget to brush my teeth or charge my phone...but jacking off? That was a necessity. I'd NEVER forget that. It's the only sigh of relief that I get at a time when my body is going haywire and my brain is a willing accomplice. I'm not even safe in my dreams anymore. It's best for me to empty myself out before I mess up another set of sheets without a decent explanation.
I thought about Jacob kissing me. Being on top of me. Loving me. Touching me. My whole body came alive as my legs spread out and my hand began to move up and down my excited shaft with a frenzy. Take me, Jacob! Please? Please fuck me! Oh God...I want you so bad!
My ejaculation was quick, but it was more than satisfying. A powerful eruption that left me panting and covered in a thin sheen of sweat as I stared up at my ceiling and tried to catch my breath again. Wow...that was a good one. A really good one!
I grabbed some tissues to clean my belly off as best as I could, feeling a few tingles as my legs got themselves back in working order...and then found myself being a bit uncomfortable with how hot it was in my room. So, I pulled my boxers and pajama bottoms up, and walked over to the window to open it up again and let in some fresh night air. I was shirtless, but I didn't care about that too much. I just wanted to cool down after my strenuous session, that's all.
I raised the shade, and opened the curtains a bit, and then lifted the window up...thankful for the gentle breeze I felt on my bare skin. But then I looked up at the light in the window next door...and noticed a silhouette standing there watching. Almost as if it was waiting for me.
Now...Jacob's house and mine are separated by a decent amount of fencing and a bit of a 'side yard'. So, we were maybe about thirty or forty feet apart, tops. So, not really 'window to widow'...but close enough to see each other if we were looking. And that's just what Jacob was doing. He was, like...looking.
He obviously saw me standing there, so I gave him a little wave, feeling kind of awkward about it. And he waved back shortly after. Then we just sort of stood there for a moment, and I moved away from the window to turn my light off and get into bed. It wasn't long after that I saw Jacob's bedroom light go off as well. It just...it made me wonder what was going on with that whole situation. I mean, I know that I closed the window and that he couldn't see inside. No way. But...why was in the window then? Was he looking to see something? Maybe even...hoping to see something?
It was a question that haunted me for the next few days. I'd come up to my room, all ready to pleasure myself again...and when I went to close the window, I'd see Jacob's light on again. And sometimes, he'd walk past his own window, see me...and he'd stop. Our eyes would sort of meet across the way, and sometimes we'd wave at one another, and sometimes we wouldn't. But...after a while...I felt bold enough to stand in front of my window, waiting for him to come by and maybe peek out to see if I was home. No shirt on. Just my pajama bottoms on. And an erection that was sticking out in front of me. Shamelessly in fact. I can remember feeling so nervous about what he might think when he saw me poking out my jammies like that...but I was testing out a theory here. And since we were always too awkward to talk to one another outside of this distant interaction...I wanted to see if anything could come of it, you know? It's hard to explain, I guess.
I waited for about ten minutes, and nearly lost my boner until he finally came by to look out of his window. I can't even put into words the level of excitement that suddenly ran through me as I stood there, with only a see-through pane of glass separating my partial nudity from his prying eyes. What I once found such an embarrassment was now the most thrilling sensation in the world to me.
Jacob didn't turn away. Neither did I. And I backed away a step or two to let him see how hard I was. He didn't seem to mind. My heart was racing so fast that it was hard for me to breathe. I could have gone further, but I chickened out. So I moved back to the window and closed the shade again to hide myself. But once I laid back on my bed and started jacking off again...I don't think I've ever had a more euphoric orgasm in my entire life! It literally made me pass out, right there on top of my sheets, without me cleaning up or anything. Thank God my MOM didn't walk in when I was sleeping!
By the time the weekend had rolled around, I was getting more and more bold. Waiting for Jacob to show up...which he always did...and letting him see me. First, just the tent in my jammies...and then just in my boxers. And then...one night, I undid the button on my boxers, and allowed my naked penis to stick out through the slot, so he could see that too. I even gave it a few slow strokes to see if it turned him on. I think it did, because his hands went into his pants, and I could SWEAR that he was jacking himself off too! With a bashful giggle, I rushed over to close the blinds again and flopped back on my bed, sooooo surprised at what I had just done in front of an open window for the cute boy neighbor next door! Oh my God! There was something so naughty about it...but I LOVED it! It gave me a rush like you wouldn't believe!
Is he thinking about me right now? Because I'm thinking about him! I can't STOP thinking about him!!!
I imagine that this is what having an actual boyfriend feels like! Well, I mean, not all the way...but sort of, right?
I found myself addicted to the sensation of having Jacob perv on me from his window into mine. And things kept escalating until one night...I just didn't want to tease him with the 'pre-game' anymore. I wanted...well...I don't know what I wanted! I just...I knew that having him watch me was...exciting. SO exciting!
So, I made sure to lock my bedroom door. Just in case my mom or dad came knocking and ruined everything. And I waited for almost a whole hour for the light in Jacob's bedroom to finally turn on, watching silly Youtube videos and trying to keep my mind preoccupied for a while before the main event. And once I saw him stand in front of his bedroom window, I played a coy game of pretending not to notice him. Slowly pulling my shirt up over my head. Then lowering my pants down to my ankles to step out of the. Turning to the side to make sure that he could see how incredibly hard I was, but not looking in his direction. And...with only a brief hesitation, I pulled my boxers down in front of the window. I made sure to turn away from him at first, my porcelain white tan lines showing as my round bottom came into view...and then turning to the side to let him see my cut five inches protruding obscenely in front of me. Was he watching? God, I hope he's watching.
I didn't want it to look like I was putting an actual 'show' on for him. I wanted it to feel like it did that very first time. Like he just happened to accidentally catch me doing something that I probably shouldn't. There was something taboo about it. It freaked me out at first, but now? Now I lived for the chance of feeling that thrill all over again.
I only glanced up at his window for a quick second as I moved over to my bed. YES! Jacob was definitely watching! And he wasn't ashamed or disgusted by it at all! Awesome!
I could barely keep myself from trembling, knowing that I was on display like this for another boy who was cute...but basically a stranger to me in general. I think I got an extra bonus out of that. I took a hold of myself, and I began to slowly stroke myself right then and there...knowing that Jacob could see me. Knowing that my young body was splayed out there without any modesty at all. I wish that I was a little bit 'bigger'...or that I had more hair down there than the few straining signs of puberty would allow me to have at this point...but as long as Jacob was watching me, I felt confident with my body as it was. I felt grown up, and sexy, and desirable. The very fact that he would go out of his way to watch me gave me an exhilarating boost in my gradually maturing manhood and self esteem. He was everything that I hoped to be someday soon, and yet...he's standing in his room, touching himself...watching me! How crazy is that?
I just let my thoughts linger on being able to suck Jacob's length into my mouth...running my tongue all over him...kissing his thighs, being his favorite boy...giving myself to him in every way that I possibly could. I kept jacking myself off, getting a bit faster, and dreaming about what it would be like to have him push my legs back...and look me in the eyes with those big brown orbs of his...only to penetrate me as deeply as his length would allow, and thrust into me until the pain of it could no longer outweigh the pleasure of him getting so much pleasure out of the clutching ring of my anus and he was forced to cum hard and deep into my constricting tunnel until he was delirious with the intense pleasure that my body gave him. Oh God....
Even a surprise to me...I came so hard that the first or second splash of semen hit me right between the eyebrows, and I gasped quietly to keep anyone else in the house from hearing me climax, my little legs squirming and wiggling helplessly as I splashed an entier day's worth of pent up seed all over myself. It was probably one of the most explosive orgasms that I've ever had, thick rivers of heated sperm, sliding down the back of my hand and puddling between my fingers with its sticky texture...and when I peeked out of my open window, I saw Jacob jacking off and cumming hard shortly after I did. I guess my 'performance' had sent him over the edge. I watched as he spasmed and bent over, almost falling to his knees, as he had an intense climax of his own. Omigod...so HOT!
It was our first moment together. And neither on of us acknowledged it with a wave, or even with another moment of eye contact. Instead...Jacob's light went out, and he went to bed. I did the same. And that was it. I know that he was watching me. And he knew that I was watching him...watch me. But no words about it were ever spoken between us.
Since then...there was this sexy little unspoken agreement between us. Almost every night...he turns his bedroom light on and opens his curtains. I turn my bedroom light on, and I open my own curtains. And then I lock my door and I slowly strip for him in front of the window...soon laying back on my bed to jack off and spew as much of a hot load as my young body can muster up, night after night...while he watches me and spews a load of his own. There may be people who don't understand the eroticism involved when it comes to masturbating in front of a captive audience...but I've come to the conclusion that if I was going to have any kind of fetish at all in this life...this would be it! I've spilled soooo many loads on my stomach for Jacob's entertainment at this point that I doubt that I could count them all. But it makes me feel good. And what's wrong with feeling good, right? He just gave my nightly masturbation habits a NITRO BOOST! And I'm supposed to turn that down? Fuck that! I LIKE having him watch! I really do!
Sometimes, Jacob and I run into one another outside. Or maybe at the mall, or even with our parents standing right next to us at the grocery store. But we never speak about...well...you know. It's never come up as a topic of conversation. He doesn't say anything, and neither do I. I don't even know if he's gay, or if he just enjoys watching me rub one out every night from his bedroom window. But, you know what? I don't think it really matters. It's something that we engage in, and we like it, and even if it never goes any further than where it is right now...I'd still be okay with that. Because something about Jacob's fascination with me has introduced me to a part of myself that I didn't even know was there. So I'm grateful for that.
Now...would I prefer for Jacob to come over to my house someday, and suck the cum out of his hard dick or have him fuck me senseless while I dig my fingernails into the meaty globes of his sexy sixteen year old ass? FUCK YEAH!!! But...the chances of that happening are slim. I'm just trying to be realistic here.
Jacob and I have what we have...and that'll just have to be enough.
But it would be nice though. A boy can always dream, can't he? Hehehe!
Love you, Jacob! And be sure to look out of your bedroom window tonight. I'll be there. And I might just let you watch me aggressively finger myself tonight. Don't miss out on the show! Because it's all for you, babe!
Any time you want to come over and make it official...I'll be here. It can be our secret. Promise. Just...keep thrilling me the way you do. And I'll make you happy. So happy.
Just say the word, Jacob. Just...make me yours, cutie.
I'm ready whenever you're ready, k?