I can't say that I had much of a restful sleep that night. I might have 'fainted' for twenty minutes or so every now and then from exhaustion...but there wasn't much 'rest' being achieved outside of that. I got up and took a shower, attempting to get myself in a state where hair and make-up wouldn't have to put in any extra effort into making me look good on camera. I mean, I know that's their job and all...but I didn't want to show up to work looking like a total slob, you know?
They always got started on the zombie make-up first, as it usually took the makeup artists hours of hard work, putting on adhesive, blood, gelatin, contact lenses, and corn syrup and latex, just to get everything right. I don't envy those poor actors at all. They definitely went through more struggle and strife than any of us other actors who just get some dirt smudged on our faces and sprayed with a little bit of artificial sweat out of a bottle before stepping out in front of the camera. God bless them all for doing what they do.
"Hey, Evan." Came a voice from over my shoulder, and I saw Chandler Riggs standing there behind me. He hadn't been to hair and make-up either yet...so nobody had a chance to make him look...you know...'post apocalyptic' yet. No dirt smudges. No artificial sweat. No ruffling of his long hair. It was like...super cute, seeing Chandler...just as himself. I would be lying if I said that it didn't get me all riled up and excited to see him so clean and cute and...sighhhh...ugh! My heart!
"Chan...Chandler...? Hey. I mean...s'up? Well, I mean..." He still leaves me breathless sometimes. Especially when he catches me off guard like that.
"Dude, come do this behind the scenes promo with me really quick!" He said.
"A...behind the scenes...wait, what?"
"They've got a low key camera crew here to do a few interviews with the cast and stuff. I usually miss out because I have to jump into school work with a tutor, but we're free to go wild for a bit. We should go. I think they want to talk to you."
Confusion set in. "Talk to me? Wait...why?"
"They're focusing on the new cast members and stuff today, and Asa won't be here for another hour or so. Come on! It'll be awesome! You'll love it! It'll be a cool celebrity moment for you to remember later." He said, cheerfully.
He started to walk away, trying to lead me towards the cameras, but I was hesitant in following right behind him without knowing what I was getting myself into. Chandler turned around and asked me what I was waiting for. I said, "So...this is an interview? Like...with a camera crew and everything?"
"Yeah." He replied. "Wait...have you never done one of these quick sound clip spots before?" He seemed to giggle a bit, and I blushed furiously over being such an 'interview virgin'. "Evan...dude, you'll do fine. It's super easy. Trust me. And it enhances your personal brand."
Already feeling the involuntary tremors of fear and insecurity, I asked, "Are they going to show this on TV or something? Who's going to see this?"
"Well...everybody, if you're lucky. Maybe they'll show a clip on the "Talking Dead" after that week's episode. Or maybe it'll pop up on the Blu-Ray or something. Why?"
"So...everything that I say is, like...permanent, then?" I asked. "Like...I can't ever take it back?"
Chandler giggled in the cutest way, making me swoon with temptation as I tried to look away from his pretty face. "And everything you do on the show isn't?" He asked. "Evan...it'll be fine. Seriously. Come on...walk with me. I'll school you on what you need to know. It's SO simple! I promise."
"Ummm...ok..." I said, and nervously began walking behind him as I saw some of the other cast members already talking in front of the cameras and sharing their personal, behind the scenes, experiences with the reporters who were filming them. This was a totally new experience for me. I never had anybody interview me before. Not in the context of me being 'supposedly' famous, anyway. "What do I say?" I asked.
Chandler smiled and told me, "Listen...you're under eighteen. So this is going to be a total cakewalk for you. They'll ask you about the show and your character. They're going to treat like you like you're a seven year old. But it's just a part of the game. Just roll with it." He said. "But...the number ONE thing that they're going to ask you about...is what you 'learned' from the adult actors on the set. That's the one thing that you've got to play up over everything else. K?"
I wrinkled my brow a bit, and asked Chandler, "What I learned? Learned from who? What did I learn?"
"It doesn't matter. You've GOT to throw that out there. Just be vague, it'll work. Every teen actor, in EVERY movie or TV show, no matter what...gets asked that question. It's a Hollywood standard." He said. "Hehehe, Asa really HATES that fucking question! But we all play the game, because we have to. So...when the reporter asks you what you 'learned' from your older, more experienced actors on set...you play the humble little boy who loves everybody on set and is just happy to be here. Think, 'kid in a candy store'. Give them the Disney World level of enthusiasm. Tell them that you learned sooooo much from...whoever. Hehehe, you know, the actors you never hang out with or speak to outside of work. Just, say that you're grateful, and look cute doing it. It always goes over well." He said, and then looked me in the eye for a moment, and said, "Looking cute should be pretty easy for you. I mean...if you play the interview angle right, with just a touch of charisma...you'll be a teen heartthrob in no time."
I blushed a bit harder, biting my bottom lip slightly to hide my smile. "You think so?" Why did I ask him that? NO! I should be on my best behavior! I have a boyfriend, dammit! The best boyfriend ever.
"I definitely think so..." He said, with a little infatuated sigh for emphasis.
"Evan. Can you do a quick interview with our crew? Let's get you on set." The director said, and they beckoned me over to sit down in one of the actor's chairs as someone pointed a camera in my face and the interviewer introduced herself as Julie and shook my hand.
"Sp pleased to meet you, Evan Elliott. I just need you to sit right here so we can take a few readings and get the lighting right, and then I'm going to ask you a few brief questions about what it's like to work on 'The Walking Dead' set, I'll finish up with a few follow up questions afterward, and then we'll let you get back to work. Ok? Does that sound like fun?" She said.
The words themselves were professional and straight to the point...but I wish you could hear the tone in her voice. It was the kind of tone that you use to promise a six year old an ice cold popsicle if he promises to pick up his toys in the living room. It was kind of...dare I say it...condescending. And not in a subtle way, either. But...whatever. Suck it up, Evan. This is what blossoming fame is all about, right? Got to play the game. Be professional.
"Yeah. Ok. Sure." I said, nervously.
"Can we get him a mic? And somebody do something with his hair." Julie said. Geez, I thought my hair looked fine. Don't make me feel self conscious or anything. I suddenly had two more people surrounding me and doing what they could to get me 'TV ready'. Hair and powder and bright lights...it used to be really uncomfortable when I first started acting, but I've kind of found a way to simply sit still and surrender to being hen pecked for a couple of minutes before any of the cameras started rolling. "I'm getting a shine on his lips. What is that about?" Julie asked. "Evan? Are you wearing lip gloss or anything?"
"Am I what? Ummm...no. I don't wear..."
"Can we do something about his lips? It doesn't look good on tape." She said, then gave me a fake smile, "Don't worry, hon. We'll take care of it."
They put something weird on my lips that was almost like lipstick, but not really...then powdered my face with a brush for a few seconds, and I just...I felt so weird about having this artificial 'mask' of garbage on my face, but I had to ignore it and just try to be myself despite the fakeness of the whole production. All this for a few minutes of screen time? I'd much rather spend hours in the makeup chair being turned into a cool zombie or something. At least I could be confident in knowing that the whole point was to MAKE me look ugly...as opposed to a camera crew basically telling me that they needed to make adjustments to my face to KEEP me from looking ugly.
I saw Chandler standing behind the camera, smiling and giving me the thumbs up as I began to answer Julie's interview questions. About who my character was, whether I got scared or not filming the scenes with the zombie actors, how old I was, and how well I got along with the other actors on set. Words of wisdom...if you're on set with other actors? You ALWAYS say that you got along great with every single one of them! Even if you hate each other's fucking GUTS throughout the entire movie shoot...that's not the story that entertainment outlets want to hear. They want you to tell them that everybody got along and we were all one big happy family...no matter what. So...watch more teen boy actor interviews...and you'll see what I'm talking about. You can end your career the second you have a single bad word to say about any one of them.
Then...even though I was a bit skeptical about it happening...Chandler grinned extra wide as Julie asked me the typical interview question that came with me doing something like this. "So...being a young actor, have you learned anything special from some of the other big stars on set?"
Ugh...ok. I'll do it. I'm an 'actor', after all, right? "Oh wow, sure! I learned soooo much! They kind of took me aside and taught me how to act and how to respond to what was going on. They really helped me out, and I think I learned a lot from having them teach me how to be 'present' in the scene, you know? It was really cool."
"And...CUT! We got it!" Said the cameraman. Julie stood up to give me that big Hollywood smile as she waved off her filming crew to take the footage back to be edited for later.
"Thank you, Evan! That was great! We'll make sure it gets added to our next behind the scenes featurette, and you can see it when it airs on AMC later, k?" I don't think I've ever seen a smile that was more disingenuous in my life. But...like I said...this is the game that we all have to play in order to take the next baby step forward towards being something...special in showbiz. Or, at the very least...recognizable.
The first thing that I wanted to do was wipe that muddy garbage off of my lips the second that I was able to walk away from them. Yuck! What IS this stuff! Tastes like actual friggin' paint! I wiped it off with a paper towel and had to spit the taste out of my mouth on the ground.
I felt a pat on the back of my shoulder, and Chandler was smiling at me. "Easy, right?"
"I didn't sound, like...stupid or anything, did I?"
"No way. You killed it." He grinned. "Don't sweat it. This business is going to treat you like a kid for as long as they possibly can, and then they'll let you transition into being an adult later on. You just have to make all of your connections now. Otherwise, they'll toss you out and go back to prowling playgrounds for a younger replacement. Heh...sad, but true." I nodded, but couldn't help but to notice the brief silence that fell between us as Chandler looked into my eyes. Do you have any idea how unnaturally blue his eyes are when you see them up close in person? They, like...take your breath away. You want to look away, but you can't really. They hold your attention and force you to stare with a longing that you usually keep under wraps for fear of seeming like some kind of creepy stalker.
That boy makes such a perv out of me sometimes. He's the whole reason I'm even here on set. When auditions for "The Walking Dead" were being held and I got a few call backs, my first thoughts were, "Omigod! Am I going to get to meet Chandler Riggs??? And like talk to him and stuff? Gah! I can't handle this!"
Another dream come true. I'm starting to think that I'm using up every last bit of good karma that I have in this life. I hope I have some leftover for the next? Otherwise...my next life is going to SUCK!!!
"Well, I guess we'll see when it gets aired on TV or whatever." I said, bashfully.
Chandler just kind of looked at me for a moment. A little smirk on my face. Then, out of nowhere, he was like, "You're really cute. You know that?"
"Ummm...hehehe..." I blushed. "Thanks."
"No, I mean it. You're like...stunning. You seem really sweet too. It's awesome. You just have a natural beauty to you. I like it."
"I'm...flattered." I never, in my life thought that I'd ever get to hear Chandler Riggs tell me that I was cute. It was kind of hard to contain my excitement. Especially now that I know what I know about him.
"You know...maybe...if you're interested, we can spend some time together. Just you and me." He said, giving me a dreamy look that seriously made me weak in the knees.
"Oh? Well...I mean, if you want to go...see a movie or something some time. Or if you get together at your hotel for another pool party or something. That'd be cool." I said.
He grinned at me, "No. I'm talking about, like...sooner than that. Like today." Then he waited for me to catch onto the hint. "You remember where the off set trailer is, right? We've got a little bit of time before roll call if you want to, like...get out of here for a little while. Know what I mean?"
Wait....was I...was he...
Holy SHIT!!! Am I dreaming right now?
I attempted to laugh it off, blushing even harder until the rush of blood into my face made me feel lightheaded and uncomfortably warm. "Hehehe, the trailer where...ummm...you mean the one where...?"
"Yeah. That's the one." He smiled. And did his eye get MORE blue in the last few seconds or what? Is he hypnotizing me? What the fuck is going ON here? "Listen...no pressure. K? Just...I like you, Evan. The more I get to know you, the more I realize how hot it would be to maybe fool around every now and again. I'm just putting that out there. Do with it what you will. Hehehe!"
I had to look around to see if any of the other actors, directors, or extras, on set could hear him talking to me like this. I mean, nobody seemed to be paying us any real attention at that particular moment...but Chandler was being so forward with his invitation that I doubted it would matter much if anybody was within earshot.
I could feel myself trembling inside. A violent fluttering in the pit of my stomach that was suddenly trying to push me forward and give in to my deepest, dirtiest, cravings for him. I had already seen him being penetrated, moaning out loud as his constricted hole was stretched to accept the invading inches, welcoming them into his most intimate spot as his cute little ass rose up to greet it and give it the kind of intense pleasure that he was receiving from being thrust into repeatedly by a boy of his choosing.
What if it was me doing the thrusting? What would it be like to kiss those lips, feel those arms and legs wrapped around me...and experience the tight grip of his heated insides as I drove my hard erection into him without restraint? Dear God...the thought of it was making me so weak inside.
I giggled awkwardly to myself, and Chandler leaned forward to say, "What? You never thought about it? I have."
"Hehehe, no you didn't..."
"Yeah, I really did. Like I said, you're cute. I always thought you were cute. We just never got a chance to talk much, before."
Feeling like I was about to hyperventilate, I heard my voice squeak slightly as I told him, "I just...I thought that you and Asa sort of had a 'thing' going. Isn't he your boyfriend?"
"Of sorts." Chandler replied.
"Of sorts? What does that mean?"
"It means...Asa lives overseas. He's here in America for work and film shoots and the like, but then he has to leave and go back home again. I mean, we keep in touch online and on the phone and stuff, and I LOVE it when we're together...but...I'm 15. I can't just jump on a plane and go traveling to the UK every time I need a good pounding. Hehehe! That's not practical at all."
"So...when he's not around...?"
"I get to play around. Yeah. Same on his side of the equation. I mean, we have feelings for one another and all...but until we can be together all the time like we want to be? We kind of have to make due with what we've got. It's cool to have somebody close by that...can scratch that particular itch, you know?"
The more he talked, the harder it became for me to breathe. I don't think that I meant to look directly down at his crotch, but when I saw a semi hard lump down there, I began to salivate over the scattered thoughts of sucking it deeply into my mouth, tongue kissing him as we rolled over one another in a quiet trailer just off set...and maybe even entering him from behind, feeling that wrinkled pucker and moist insides collapsing around my shaft until it was worked to an inevitable orgasmic release.
"Wouldn't Asa be, like...upset?" I asked.
"Asa is Asa." He smirked. "And...Evan is Evan. We've got no problem multitasking when we need to." He touched my arm, and I allowed those blue eyes mesmerize me into thinking that anything about this would be ok on ANY level! "Besides...I can't go very long without a sexy fix. So, if you sign up...expect to stay busy. Hehehe!"
"Chandler? You ready for hair and makeup?" Said one of the assistants, bringing him a bottle of cold water.
"I'll be there in a minute." He told him. "Like, I said...no pressure. But if you decide you want to have some fun, just give me a holler. K? Getting away for a half hour or so is easy to work out. And I'd kinda like to share some space with you for a bit. Could be fun."
Then he really shocked me by leaning in to kiss me lightly on the cheek. Just before walking away to the makeup truck to get ready to film.
Now...there was a time when this would have sent me skyrocketing into orbit! A few weeks ago, I would have tackled Chandler down in the dirt and ripped his clothes off and rolled around naked with him until I was too tired and too sore to ejaculate anymore! Oh my fucking GOD, did I want that boy!!!
Greyson was my sweetheart. My blossoming soul mate. I've never been so connected to another boy before in my life. We shared our virgin experience with one another. We talk, we laugh, we kiss and kiss and kiss...and everything about him is dreamy beyond belief. He's all that I've ever wanted in a boyfriend. We're committed to one another, right? I mean...right?
But as I watched Chandler walk away, briefly smiling back at me over his shoulder and catching a brief glimpse of his tight, well sculpted, ass in those snug fitting blue jeans...I thought about what he said. You know...about Asa.
Because Greyson really will be leaving me in the next week or two. And going on tour soon, to places where I can't go see him. Or even talk to him, in some cases. If Asa and Chandler can maintain an open relationship from two different sides of the planet...can Greyson and I do the same? I mean...Chandler would be close by. Right? Would that be cheating? And what if Greyson finds a super cute Malaysian boy or something on tour, and he feels like he needs to be sexually satisfied too? Would it be selfish of me to tell him no?
I've never dealt with this kind of thing before. I'm not exactly sure what I need to know to navigate myself around this problem without totally screwing everything up in the process. But...Chandler Riggs basically just told me that we can have sex whenever I want to! And when my lovely Greyson moves back home, or goes on tour...how long will it be before that temptation is too difficult for me to avoid?