Sunday - OMIGOD!!! I had the FREAKIEST dream EVER last night! Holy shit, what the hell did I eat before bed to bring THAT up? Because I want some more!
It was a combination of hearing about Sam's little adventure on the back porch with Joey (Ugh! I really HATE that he calls her that! I don't know why, it's just...yuck! There's something just 'sweet' about it. I mean, he never made a little pet name for ME. Well...whatever..), and talking to Lee online last night. I think that was just too much sex appeal for one day. And when you throw in another phone call from Brandon, and my life was a day long orgasm for the senses. I guess I should have half expected a sex dream, right?
I don't even really remember how it started, to tell you the truth. I just remember being at the mall with Lee, and walking into a store....and there's Sam with his pants around his ankles and Joanna's face in his lap! Hahaha! Seriously, it's like, why would he be getting a bj right there in the middle of the mall? But he sees me, and suddenly starts shuffling to put his clothes back on. And they kinda keep running off. And for some reason, I have Lee holding me all close, and he starts sucking on my earlobe....real slow and sexy. And I'm like, LEE is sucking my EAR!!! Ahhhhh!!! But, at the same time, I'm kinda watching to see where Sam and Joanna are going, because I don't want them to go off somewhere and go back to their previous 'activity'. So I'm kinda walking, with Lee still hugging me and licking my ear, and I'm looking for Sam. I stop around the corner, and I see Sam's legs sticking out from behind some fake mall plant thing. He's lying down with his pants down again, and I'm like, "What are you DOING???" I don't even know why I'm chasing him around the mall, when Lee is obviously interested in getting my attention. So Sam and Joanna get up, and they're kinda laughing at me, but they don't say anything. And Joanna pulls on Sam's hand to lead him off somewhere ELSE! Like...she's just desperate to get him back in her mouth, and they're gonna do it no matter what, you know?
So I see them leave, and I kinda don't want to care, but it's seriously bugging me. So I try to take my mind off of things, and want to make Sam jealous. So I make sure to walk right by where they are...and I start making out with Lee right there in the mall. Um...if Lee's kissing is even HALF as good in real life as it was in that dream...then I'm pretty sure that I'd just basically explode from my first contact. Anyway, I'm tangling tongues with the world's most flawless boy, and Sam just sits back down on the floor with his back propped up against the wall, and he shuffles his pants down to give Joanna access again. I'm kissing Lee as passionately as I possibly can with one eye open, and Sam isn't even LOOKING at us! I moan, and grab Lee's ass, and undo his pants to rub him all over his privates and all...but Sam is just concentrating on Joanna and that's all. He's not even paying me enough attention to care that I'm kissing another boy.
So now I'm just desperate (and supremely horny), and I lay Lee down on the floor, and pull his pants all the way off. You have to remember, this is the cutest penis in the WORLD! I'll never forget what it looks like! Jimmy is soooo lucky to have had it in his mouth for REAL! Anyway, I'm looking down at Lee, who's looking all dreamy and sweet, and I lick all around his soft balls for a second, before taking a long wet drag up to his tip...and I take the whole thing in my mouth. This is all in the MALL, by the way! With people practically stepping over our little dick sucking competition.
(I told you this dream was freaky...)
I actually woke up 'panting' and sweating, right in the middle of Lee whimpering and running both of his hands through my hair and messing it up something awful. I don't think that boner went down until LUNCH today! Still...Sam never noticed me. Sam never cared. He didn't even look in my direction. And something about that just bothered me. I mean...it's just a freakin' DREAM, right? It's not like any of this really happened. But...still...when Sam called the house today, and I saw his name on the caller ID...I didn't pick up. I dunno....I just...I had this lingering feeling of...well, who KNOWS what the hell it was. But it was there, and it sucked. It sucked enough to the point where I didn't want to talk to him today, that's for sure.
One person I DID want to talk to, however, was Brandon! And even though he called me yesterday, he's like...my 'boyfriend', right? So I can pretty much call him whenever he crosses my mind! Hehehe, which is like every twenty seconds, and that's on a SLOW day! He wasn't home the first time I called, but I guess he just went out with his parents for a bit. When I called the second time, he was sooo happy to hear from me. He was like, "Dude, I was gonna call you tonight, but I thought that you might have had enough me being stupid and weird from yesterday."
I said, "You weren't being 'stupid and weird'...you were being cute. And I liked it." I was smiling until my whole face hurt, and my heart did back flips when I heard that bashful little giggle of his come through the phone. Awwww...he LOVES me! What the hell am I going to DO with myself! He makes me want to EXPLODE!
He's all, "I'm glad you called. I was gonna be so miserable if I had to wait until tomorrow to hear your voice again." And then he says, "My family went out to dinner today, and it's, like, this sit down lunch buffet type of place. It was really good. We should go some time. Their biscuits are awesome. And they have these chicken fingers that I know you'd like. They're better than the ones at school that you like so much." Brandon had this ability to just make the most everyday conversation just sound so incredibly sweet.
I said, "Yeah? I'd be down to go out for lunch or something some time." It was....like a DATE, you know? And even though I've totally seen him naked and tasted his goodies on more than one occasion...it's little things like that that still make me giggle and grin like a madman But...after just a few other comments traded back and forth, Brandon said something that truly disturbed me.
He said, "If I tell you something, will you promise not to be mad or feel weird about it?" Which, you know, automatically tells me that I should be careful with what I promise before he tells me what's on his mind. But...I'm so lost in the moment, that I just blurt out a promise on instinct alone, you know? So..he says, "I kinda called Bobby up earlier today."
Instantly, my entire LIFE froze up on me!!! What the fuck does he MEAN 'he called Bobby'??? Why the hell did he do THAT for??? Arrrrghhhh! So, I'm instantly breaking out into a heavy sweat, because the very idea of Brandon and Bobby talking to each other without me there to 'referee' and monitor the conversation personally...just throws me into a world of complete chaos and fear! FUCK! I'm literally 'shaking' at this point...but I manage to ask, "Oh....oh yeah? Well...what did he have to say?" I could SWEAR that he could hear the nervous twitch in my voice, but I'm trying hard to fight it off long enough to keep my mask of 'innocence' up while I waited for an answer.
"Well..." Brandon said, and there was a long silence. Or...maybe it wasn't that long, but it seemed like twelve ETERNITIES to ME! "...I kinda wanted to really thank him for letting us use his house to be alone together, you know? I mean...it was so sweet of him and all..." No, no, NO!!! Was Brandon playing a GAME with me? Was this the break-up conversation??? "Well...I kinda asked him if maybe....he'd let us do it again some time." He said, which almost made my heart fucking stop beating altogether!
I'm like, "O-o-oh......r-r-really?"
And it's one of those moments where I SWEAR that I can se him blushing, even through the phone! And he's, like, biting his bottom lip, and trying to talk at the same time. He says, "Hehehe, um....yeah. I did. Billy...I seriously want to be with you as much as possible. Like...all the time." Then he totally shocks me by saying, "Fucking you is all I want to do...all day, every day, for the rest of my life." Hahaha, omigod! I literally GASPED at that comment, as Brandon doesn't have many 'vulgar' moments in his life! And even THAT seems to sound sweet and innocent when it's delivered in his babyish voice...still timid and sheepish to the point where you wanna cuddle him right then and there until you both fall asleep! Sighhh....Jesus! Am I really that lost in love?
Anyway, I instantly laughed out loud, and turned a deep shade of purple from the compliment! I said...."Really? Hehehe....umm.....uhhh...." How the fuck do you respond to something like that??? Then, I remembered that he had just asked Bobby a VERY important question, and suddenly, those infatuated vibes gave way to something much more terrifying. So I cleared my throat, and asked, "So...what did he say? Bobby, I mean."
And Brandon was like, "He says he's all 'thumbs up' about it! He loves the idea! But...he said he had to talk to you about it first and set things up. Whatever that means. But I guess he just wants to give you the key and stuff and work out some details. So CALL him already and make plans! I wanna taste you again!"
Do I shiver and shake? Or should I take this as a blessing? I'm thinking the 'shaking' is a bit more appropriate. If I call Bobby to, quote, 'set things up'...I know what he's gonna say. And I know what he's gonna want in exchange. The thing is...I really don't LIKE the idea that Brandon and Bobby can just randomly talk to each other about something like this without my knowledge of what's going on. That's dangerous territory indeed. Like...what can I do? Tell Brandon not to talk to him? Sure, like THAT won't raise some suspicions!
Well, I didn't call him today, but I know that I'm gonna see Bobby in gym tomorrow, and I'm dreading it. I never should have gone along with this fucked up deal in the first place. There's something so wicked about it. It SOUNDS like it should be paradise! 'Oh sure, I get to spend time alone with my super pretty sexy boyfriend and have lots of sex while missing school...and all I have to do is sleep with another really cute boy, and sink into one of the tightest, roundest, most fuckable asses in teen boy history!' Yeah, gee...my life must be hell, right?
But the fact of the matter is, I'd kinda like to stop playing this game with my relationship...and I've kinda locked myself in where I can't.
I need some time to think this through. I'll write more later.