Sunday - So, my mom gave me another caring 'talking to' again today. Don't worry, it wasn't anything unique, or different, or remotely original. She basically patted the space next to her on the couch when I went into the kitchen to grab some pop tarts for breakfast. So I groaned and rolled my eyes, and sat down next to her...while she threw that awkward arm over my shoulder to, like, 'hold' me, or whatever. You know...it's cool for your parents to cuddle you when you're, like, SEVEN. But when you're fourteen it just feels awkward and aggravating and weird.
Anyway, she gave me the whole routine about her and my dad. She apologized and said that they shouldn't fight and argue in front of me. And that it wasn't fair. And then came the infamous, "You know, we both still love you very very much." Sighhh...what a crock of shit. I really didn't need to hear that today. I don't CARE about you guys loving ME right now. Why don't you try loving each other? I mean...how awful can it be? How pissed do you have to be to let the simplest of conversations turn into a full blown argument EVERY - SINGLE - TIME you talk to each other??? Love ME? Bullshit. Keep it. I just want them to rebuild my family again so I can stop walking around this house feeling like a fucking 'orphan' all the time.
I stayed there for as long as I could take it, and then was finally 'released' so that I could get something to eat. I could already tell that she was gonna be weird all day, so I instantly started making plans to get out of the house. Besides, I wanted to talk to Jimmy today. I wanted to know if maybe he could help take this monkey off my back with the Bobby Jinette situation. I think they're both, like...'bottoms' though. So I don't know who is going to be fucking who, but I'd hate to think that Bobby's luscious ass would be going to waste.
I called him up, and he seemed kinda surprised to hear from me. I guess it had been a while since I had called him on the phone, but I didn't think it was long enough to warrant actual shock at the sound of my voice. We talked for a few minutes, and I asked what he was up to today. He's like, "Nothing, actually. I was kinda bored, so I was just gonna zone out and watch TV or something."
I asked, "Can I come over? I'll zone out with you. I've gotta get out of this house."
He was like, "Sure, come on over. I'll leave the back door open. Just let me know when you're in the house."
I said, "Why? Are you walking around naked?" He giggled, and I swear that I could hear him blush over the phone.
Then he said, "Just hurry up, already. Quit being a smartass."
So I went over there, skillfully dodging my mom's questions as to where I was going or when I was gonna be back. I'm going 'out', and I'll be back 'later'. That's all she needs to know for now.
Sighhh...parents. Such a burden sometimes.
Anyway, he left the back door open like he said he would, and I walked in. I could hear the TV playing in his room, and I called out his name to make sure that he wasn't in there...um...'floggin' the pork' or something
He was just wearing his boxers and a t-shirt when I saw him. He was sitting on the floor, leaning up against his bed, and smiled when he saw me. Jimmy was almost always happy to have company. Any kind of company. Like an excited puppy or something. I sat on the foot of his bed next to him and said hello. He was watching some documentary on ants on Animal Planet. Which sounds like it would be boring and strange, but it's incredibly hypnotic once you get into it. Jimmy told me, "I'm glad you came over. I haven't seen you in forever. I was beginning to think you were done with me."
I said, "Psh! You wish you were that lucky." Then I added, "Besides, I thought you had an entire army of girls surrounding you twenty four hours a day like the FBI?"
Jimmy laughed. "Not hardly. Besides, some testosterone is needed in my life every now and then. Girls are too emotional. I kinda like people to hide a LITTLE something every now and then."
I'm like, "Hehehe, yeah. Tell me about it."
Jimmy said, "If I EVER hear about another 'period' again in my life, it'll be too soon. I'm gay, but I'm not THAT gay! Eww!" I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face, but it was kinda sad when he said, "Besides, the other boys at school don't tease me too much about my sexuality...but it's not like they're rushing over here to spend time with me alone on the weekend. Reputations to uphold and all that, you know?"
I'm like, "Screw them. They're the ones missing out."
He said, "Ah, it's ok. I understand. Spend too much time alone with the 'gay boy' and the rumors start flying. Besides, you're here, right? I'd take your company over 90 percent of the other boys anyway."
He grinned, and I'm like, "Only 90 percent? Geez, how did I lose so much popularity points?"
And you know what he says? He's like, "Well, you don't 'put out', for one thing. So you get major frustration points for that."
I'm all, "What? I gave you a kiss!"
And HE'S all like, "That was months ago! You have to refresh my memory from time to time, you know?" I have to admit, it was fun. But when I saw Jimmy's eyes start to sparkle with that weird infatuation again, I kinda pulled back a little bit. No need to suck him into that particular void all over again. But I do have to admit...Jimmy has some sexy legs! Hehehe! Then again, I don't know many boys who don't look hot in boxers. Then he says, "As long as we're talking kisses and all, Stacy says she wants you to take her to the next Jamie Cross party."
I'm like, "Why?"
And he says, "Because she thinks you're fucking hot, and because she wants to go to a Jamie Cross party, just once. It's like being invited to the Grammys or something."
It's not that I didn't like Stacy, but...I kinda tried walking down that road before with Joanna. And I wasn't really anxious to do it again. Besides, I always take Brandon. I think HE'S fucking hot.
Anyway...so we spent some time together just watching the 'ant thing' on TV, when I decided to spring the big question of the day. "Jimmy, what would you say if I set you up with somebody?"
He gave me a weird look. "Set me up with somebody? Like a boy? Get outta here."
I'm like, "No, seriously. What would you say if I kinda had somebody in mind for you?"
Jimmy hesitated, then he said, "I'd say that I'd be highly disappointed if it wasn't you or..'you know who'." He couldn't even say Lee's name anymore. He really had it bad for that boy. "And there aren't any other gay boys in our school. Trust me, I've been looking. I'm like the last homosexual alive in this town. Like 'I Am Legend'."
I rolled my eyes and told him, "Jimmy...dude, you are SO not the only gay boy in our school. Just...take my word for it." I'm like, "I know somebody who might be interested. He's gay."
Jimmy sulked a bit. "He has to be more than just 'gay', Billy. I wanna...sighhh...I wanna 'feel' something, you know? I don't know about this."
So I told him, "He's cute!"
Which caused Jimmy to pause for a second. And he's like, "How cute?"
I'm like, "VERY cute! Nice ass too!"
Jimmy said, "Is it Brandon?" And my heart almost stopped.
I'm like, "No...no it's definitely NOT Brandon." Not MY boyfriend, dammit! Get your own "What do you think about Bobby Jinette?"
Jimmy wrinkled up his forehead and blew me off. "Bobby Jinette isn't gay, Billy."
Is he KIDDING me? "Dude...Bobby is totally gay. And he's not with anybody. You guys could totally hit it off."
Jimmy didn't seem too thrilled with the idea. "I don't even know Bobby Jinette. We don't have anything in common."
I said, "You just said that you didn't even know him. How could you possibly know that you don't have anything in common?" Jimmy was still making faces, and I'm like, "Dude, why don't you just...talk to him or something. Get to know him. Maybe you'll see something about him you like. Give it a chance."
Jimmy shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know. I just...I'm not interested in being set up with somebody right now. That's all."
I said, "Jimmy, you can't just sit here and pout over Lee for the rest of your life." I think I hit a nerve, because he looked really hurt by that statement.
He's like, "That's NOT what I'm doing! Ok? And, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you didn't start pushing your nose into my business." I apologized for the comment, but after that, Jimmy kinda shut me out. He wouldn't even let me mention Bobby anymore. He was like, "Just drop it, ok? I don't want some pity date set up for me."
I stayed for another half hour or so, but it was pretty clear that Jimmy wanted me to go. Shit...he didn't even LISTEN. I thought he'd be happy about the possibility of getting a really cute boyfriend. Why did I have to mention Lee. That was stupid of me. I've gotta keep trying. I need Bobby off my back, but I need him to be HAPPY at the same time so he doesn't go blabbing to Brandon that we had sex. LOTS of sex! God, Jimmy is gonna have his hands full when they get together. He's gonna fuck him silly! I just know it. Or...at least I hope so.
Shit...ok, I need a new strategy. I'll try it on Bobby's end. Maybe he'll listen, and approach Jimmy first. Or...argghhh! I'll figure out something. I HAVE to! And quick.
I've gotta go. I've got some last minute homework to do, and I don't want to see that smug look on my teacher's face tomorrow if I walk in without it. See ya soon.